


Denim Blue & Forest Green

by jk_ar1



Category: AU - Fandom, Castiel - Fandom, Dean Winchester - Fandom, Gabriel - Fandom, SPN, Sam Winchester - Fandom, SpnAU - Fandom, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: DestielHighSchoolAU, M/M, destielau - Freeform, highschoolAU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:13:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 66,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9795767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jk_ar1/pseuds/jk_ar1
Summary: "Because we're friends, and that's what friends do."..."Just friends?"..."More than friends."Castiel Novak, a 16 year old boy who lives on the outskirts of Charlotte North Carolina never really had an easy life because of constant abuse from his uncle Uriel, brother Lucifer and bully Crowley.Dean Winchester, a 17 year old boy who just moved again due to his abusive fathers 'mystery job'. Dean never knew what it was like to love anyone other than family.When an unspeakable common interests brings the two together, they quickly became close friends but both secretly want to be more than 'friends'. They both kept there feelings to themselves not knowing that the other feels the same until one day one of them finally makes a move. Their road is rough and bumpy, especially when one day Castiel's brother Lucifer goes rogue.





	1. introduction

Friday, Dec. 30, 2016 

Dear Sam, 

I've written a couple of these in the past but you've never read them because I always shredded them afterward. I hate myself for doing this but I have to, I cant live like this. I cant live knowing that its my fault he's gone. I'm not going to turn this into some sappy chick flick letter because you know I hate those, so I'm just going to get to the point. One of the reason's why I'm doing this now is because your in a safer environment, I couldn't leave you with John because we both know how that would end up. I just hope that you, Gabriel, Bobby and Ellen will somehow find a way to become a normal family despite everything that's happened in the past couple months. Once you find this, don't even bother looking for me. You wont like what you find. 

I have a couple things that I need you to do and you don't get to complain because I'm your big brother and you have to do what I say. I need you to go visit our father. Tell him to rot. Oh and if you could, saying that to Uriel as well would be appreciated. I also need you to tell Anna that I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. To me it seems like I never can. That's all. Thank you, for everything. 

Sincerely, Dean.

 

Quick note: Please pay attention to the dates at the top of the chapters! 

 

This story begins with two boys who live miserable lives, dealing with constant abuse, bullying, mental battles.. The both of them secretly falling into the void that nobody wants to talk about.. But during the fall, they find each other. And somehow.. They find a way to defy gravity.


	2. Beginning With a Fall

Sunday, Oct. 17, 2016

Dean P.O.V. 

I was staring out the passenger window, my father or 'John' insisted on driving because he left his truck at the new place. It was raining so my eyes followed a single raindrop as it slid across the glass slowly, when it faded I moved onto a new one. Sam was sitting in the backseat quietly, the whole ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. The sky was dark and traffic was moderate. Honestly I didn't want to move, not again. I had just started to make friends at the other school, I was lead pitcher on the baseball team, Sam even had a girlfriend, Jessica. I could tell Sam wasn't the best sport about moving either, but he knew not to fight with dad because that never ends well.. We were just entering Charlotte NC, when we got stuck at a red light and my father turned to face both Sam and I. Every time the man spoke I felt my stomach churn. 

[The night before] 

"Dad please!" I begged as he placed another punch on my upper abdomen. I howled at the pain. 

"Shut your mouth boy!" The horrible excuse for a father shouted as he shoved me to the ground and started kicking me. I pleaded and begged for him to stop as much as my body would let me but it still didn't change a thing. John ripped the collar of my shirt as he attempted to yank me up and toss me across the room making me stumble into the counter and jab my side. My head was pounding. For some reason I felt like this would be the last time, like I was going to die this time. Honestly, I wouldn't mind. The only thing that's actually keeping me from killing myself is Sammy, I couldn't leave him like that. I just wish we had simple lives, happy family's, healthy minds. Once my father quit beating me I sighed in frustration and tried getting up, instead I heard a loud smash and blacked out. 

[present time]

"Now I don't want hear any fuss about the rooms. I know their small but its all I could afford so you'll just have to deal." His voice was low and hoarse. Yeah yeah, now shut up. I lifted my hand to the back of my head to feel the bruised and cut mark where he smashed a ceramic bowl, when I pulled my hand away I saw a little bit of half dried blood and wiped it off on the hem of my jeans. 

"Yes sir." Both me and Sam responded sluggishly.

"And Dean, you will be going to Oakwood high and Sam you'll be going to Brown Summit middle. Got it?" I physically cringed at the tone.

"Yes sir." There was a long pause before John proceeded.

"We're here." As we pulled into the driveway I looked at the house for the first time. It was a light brown and had two stories, on the right was an auburn red house and on the left was a seaweed green, but for some reason I was more attracted to the red. It just had this certain feel about it.. I don't know what it was. 

As I got out of the car I watched as a boy who looked my age enter the red house, he had dark brown hair and even though I only saw his eyes for a split second I could have sworn they were blue. My father caught me staring and slapped me over the head, making my headache worse.

"Boy bring these boxes in and stop drooling." He said harshly and I quietly obeyed, dropping my head to avoid contact.  

Castiel P.O.V. [Half-hour ago]

I felt like shriveling up and sleeping the rest of my life, I wanted to hide from the world. I dreaded going back to that hell house, I knew either Lucifer or Uriel would be there.. So I just sat on an empty bench in the park down the street from the school. I was watching as dark storm clouds rolled over the city enclosing the light into its darkness, I heard the low rumbling sound of thunder but ignored it. I didn't want to go back home.. I didn't want to do anything. For the beginning of autumn there was surprisingly a lot of rain. Soggy piles of leaves scattered everywhere, taking away the color that was suppose to be vivid. 

"Hey Castiel, are you alright?" I almost jumped at the voice because I thought I was alone, when I turned to see where the familiar tone came from I relaxed a little. 

"Oh, hey Charlie." I said as the red haired girl sat down next to me. Me and Charlie used to be good friends but I guess we kind of just drifted apart. "Yea, I'm fine. Thank you though." I thought it was kinda odd that she came up to me. I mean, we haven't talked in what? Hell, I think its been almost two years.. right around the time of the accident. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." Then we both just sat there in silence, the thunder becoming louder. 

"I should go, my mum's probably gonna get pissed that I've been out this late. It was nice seeing you!" As she said this she gave a bright smile and light giggle. 

"You too!" I exclaimed after her as she started her route back home. Charlie was a sweat girl, always nice. But I wasn't her type and she wasn't mine. Honestly I missed having her as a friend, she was always there for me and I did my best to be there for her. But, of course after the accident that took my fathers life, I pushed everyone away. My friends, family, everyone. I became more isolated. Closed myself out from the world. Never went to party's or family gatherings.   
I stayed there on the bench for about another fifteen minutes until it started down pouring, I didn't bring an umbrella so I just covered my head with the hood of my sweatshirt. When lightning hit not to far from me I decided it was time to go home. 

I had been so distracted by the muscle car that pulled into the driveway next door that I didn't even realize I went in through the front door. Once I stepped through the doorway I immediately regretted getting distracted, my uncle Uriel was sitting on the couch with the remote in his left hand and bottle of whiskey in right. I tried to just sneak past him but instead I accidentally hit my foot on the bottom step causing Uriel to shoot up and chuck the remote at me. Dammit.

"DON'T YOU TRY AND SNEAK PAST ME." He vociferate quite loudly, Fuck. I was petrified, my uncle had no limits. 

"I'm sorry! I wont do it again!" I pleaded as he stomped towards me with the look of death spread across his features. I had just been cowering with my hands to my head like the milquetoast I am when he finally reached me and grabbed the back of my head, forcefully shoving me forwards so I bashed into the wall. I crumpled to the ground with the deep feeling of terror in my stomach, I was now even more vulnerable. Uriel first punt me in the chest with his wooden like shoe, then my neck but finally my head. Pain was shooting in every direction of my body and I felt like I was going to either become paralyzed or dead. My breathing was so heavy and forced it was hard to focus, I felt Uriel plant another boot in my stomach just as I noticed a clearing to the staircase. All I had to do was somehow get past this piss poor excuse of an uncle and into my room. When Uriel went to take another sip from the whiskey in his hand I took my chances and bolted for the stairs, of course when I got to the top my brother Lucifer had already been there. "Lucifer please!" I begged as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, spat in my face, then tossed me down the stairs. I landed in front of Uriel who was laughing hysterically and I swear I could hear Lucifer laughing as well but all I could focus on was the ringing in my ears. I gripped my head tightly because it felt like the ringing kept getting louder and louder and I squeezed my eyes shut. The shrieking noise became so loud that I didn't even hear my little brother Gabriel run down stairs and shove Uriel off me, I guess it was also so loud that I didn't even realize I had been screaming at the top of my lungs begging for it to stop. It was now deafening and I couldn't hear Gabriel, only see him shaking me by the shoulders imploring me to calm down but I couldn't. That's when I eventually started to see black dots scurrying everywhere and my mind went blank. 

 

When I woke up I found myself in a dark room, I think I was in a closet? I tried sitting up but the pain in my right temple said otherwise. My head was pounding, I certainly didn't enjoy this feeling. I thought I was alone but then I heard shuffling from beside me. 

"Gabe?" I squinted my eyes so I could see him better. 

"Hey, you okay?" 

"I think so.." He gave me a perpetuated look, almost as if I had just been stabbed.. But he brushed it off before he continued. 

"You sure? Cause you were screaming pretty loud an-"

"I'm fine Gabriel, you don't need to worry." I interrupted him, he expressed a sort of nettled look. 

"Okay, well I called Anna so she's on her way." 

"Doesn't she have work though?" Anna was a nurse so she couldn't exactly leave work whenever she wanted to. I noticed that Gabriel continued watching me in a distressed manner. 

"I don't know, all I said was that you got hurt real bad and she said she would be here in like fifteen minutes." He said with a shrug, his eyebrows still furrowed as he never took his eyes off me. After that there was a long pause. 

"What happened? Like after I blacked out?"

"Uhh well Uriel just left, probably went to a bar or something and Lucifer went back to his cave of a room, so I pulled you into the closet just in case they came back."

"Oh, where's Michael?" 

"Work, he should be back later though." Then we both heard a soft knock on the door. My heart jumped a little hoping that it wasn't Uriel or Lucifer coming to finish me off, I sighed in relief when Anna peered her head through then fully opening the door revealing a box of medical supplies. 

"Gabe go take this up to his room, I will be right there." Anna said as she handed Gabriel the box but before he left he tugged on her sleeve and pulled her out of the room for a minute. I couldn't hear what they were saying and it worried me. When Gabe left, Anna half picked me up and carried me up the stairs and into my room setting me on the chair next to my window. I just watched as she started digging through the box.

"What are you looking for?" The curiosity of what they were talking about felt like an itch I couldn't scratch. 

"Alcohol pads to clean your face, no offense but you look like shit right now. You also might want to change out of those cloths." she said with a light chuckle and I just looked down at my blood soaked sweatshirt. 

"Gee thanks." I responded with sarcasm, she then looked at me with a similar expression as Gabriel. Before I could ask, she started wiping off the dried blood from my face and I felt a strong stinging sensation on my cheek. I let out a slight whimper. 

"Oh stop being such a wuss, it's just a cut." Anna said with a smile but still had the look of concern rolling over her face. After that there was just silence for a few minutes. "So Gabriel told me that you started screaming for some noise to stop, but there wasn't any noise. What was that about?" Her voice had lost any sense of euphoria it had possessed just moments before.

"I don't know, I just heard this really intense ringing. It just kept getting louder and louder. I don't know how to better describe it, sorry." My voice was filled with dread at the thought of it, that had to be one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've ever experienced. Anna then rummaged through the box again and pulled out this strange scalpel looking thing. 

"Do you feel any pressure in your head?" She asked as she lifted my head inspecting the cuts along my jawline. 

"No, not really."

"What about nausea or dizziness, numbness, blurry or double vision?"

"No, yes, yes, sorta." My words came out slower than normal.

"Difficulty thinking clearly?" 

"Well that's one of the primary aspects of my personality." I replied with sass to try and get this over with.

"Well I see your still a smartass and that you have a concussion."

"Really?" I was shocked, I felt fine for the most part. 

"Yea, the biggest hint is because it literally took you a couple minutes to answer my questions and you didn't even notice." This made my brain just flat-line, I sat there in shock for what I thought was a couple minutes but turned out to actually be around twenty. 

 

"You know, this really has to stop. They can't keep doing this to you."  Gabriel shouted from the doorway. For a second I was confused, his words just seemed to jumble together so I gave him a disoriented look. 

"Boys, you know I'm trying my hardest to get custody of you. All you need to do is hang on a little longer." Anna said trying settle the environment but I could tell Gabe didn't approve because he just stomped back to his room. All I did was turn to look out my window, I watched as our new neighbors brought boxes inside there house until my head started to spin. "Cas, I have to get back to work. If anyone except me or Gabriel walks through that door, I want you to leave through the window. Got it?" My only response was a slight nod. "I will come back later to check on you." I was still looking out my window when I heard Anna leave. I haven't met them, but I could make out a man probably in his 40's who I presumed to be the father. A boy about Gabe's age (13) and a boy who looked my age. I wasn't that close but I could still see how green his eyes where. I quickly caught myself staring and looked away, I got up from my chair, steadying myself with my desk and changed into a clean shirt then went to lay down on my bed staring at the all to familiar blank wall.

[Five hours later]

 

I must have dozed off because when I woke up it was dark outside. I Looked over my shoulder to see Gabriel doing his homework on my floor. Shit! I forgot about my homework, I kept putting it off all weekend. I sat up to face my little brother who was now watching me. 

"Has Anna already come by yet?" 

"No, you've been asleep for like five hours though. Are you feeling any better?" 

"Yea I'm fine. How about you? Need any help?" I asked motioning to his work. That's when he started giggling to himself. "What?!" I asked in defense

"I don't think you realize how much your responses are delayed, Its like every time someone speaks you have a brain fart and nah I'm okay, I was just finishing up." Gabriel said as he pulled out a couple candy bars, still slightly laughing.

"Haha very funny, Have you even eaten supper yet?" I questioned the boy who was now snacking on junk food. 

"No, I'm scared to go around Uriel and Luci.." 

"Gabe, they love you! It's me they don't like. You don't need to worry about them doing anything." 

"Okay, I'll be right back. I'm going to get you something to" 

"Okay, thank you." Gabriel then rushed out of my room and I listened to his footsteps going down the stairs. Was I really having delayed responses? Damn, having a concussion sucks. 

Gabriel P.O.V.

Once I left his room I ran downstairs, still hoping not to bump into either Lucifer, (who even though he's in his twenty's, still lives at home) or my uncle. They usually leave me alone but lately they've been getting a little pushy. I haven't told anyone though. I don't see the point, Anna and Michael know know what they do to Cas, yet nothing has changed. I just hope they stop. I hope somebody stops them. As I stumbled into the empty kitchen, I opened one of the cupboards in search for something I could bring back up to his room. In the midst of rummaging though the randomly placed whisky bottles and stale granola bars I managed to find Michael's stash of ramen noodle packets. I quickly grabbed a few trying to be quiet because I heard somebody walking down the hall. SHeit sheit sheeit. I tried to act as normal as possible when I swiftly walked past Lucifer and towards the stairs. 

"What are you doing?" His voice was harsh. I gave him a fake smile before I dashed up the stairs, shouting at Cas to open the door.

Castiel P.O.V.

It was about two minutes later I think.. when I heard shouting. 

"Cas! Open the door!" Gabe shouted at me as I got up and unlocked my door to let him in. 

"Gabe?! What happened?!" I asked, concern filling my voice as I locked the door back up. 

"Lucifers chasing me!" The younger boy responded as he spilled a bunch of ramen noodle packets on my bed. That was when we heard banging on the door. 

"Open the fucking door!!" Lucifer shouted. 

"Why?! I won't let you hurt Cas!! He didn't do anything!!" Gabe screamed back at our older brother. 

"He killed our father! He always gets in the way! He's a burden! Gabriel you will open this door right now or so help me I will beat your ass!" My eyes filled with tears as I listened to this, of course I hear it all the time but it still hurt. Lucifer started kicking at the door, I'm pretty sure he's drunk because otherwise he would have just left by now. I knew the door wouldn't hold long so I opened the window and shoved Gabe through. I quickly followed but I missed the branch. I tried to grab onto my window-still but it was too late, I fell to the ground landing on my back. It wasn't enough to kill me (it was only a sixteen foot drop) but it still hurt like hell. I knew I was fine, not 100% but I would live. I didn't get up, I just laid there and stared up at the tree I had fallen out of. There was no leaves on it, they had all fallen off along with every other tree. I think it worried Gabriel that I wasn't moving because he had been calling for help, eventually our new neighbors responded. My head started to spin when the green eyed boy knelled next to me.

Dean P.O.V. [earlier that day]

"Dean! Come help with these boxes!" I heard as my little brother shout out at me from downstairs. 

 

"I'm busy!" I lied. I really just wasn't in the mood to do anything. I was lying on my bed starring at my ceiling. This had been the third time we moved this year, even though John promised it would be the last time, I still don't believe him. 

"Dean! Help your brother!" My father yelled up to me. I let out a sigh and went to go help Sam bring his boxes up to his room, I had already brought all mine up seeing as I didn't have very much to begin with.   
As I was carrying boxes up the stairs I accidentally hit my lower back on the railing and almost dropped the box, the bruise I already had was most likely going to get worse. I squinted at the pain just as my father walked in. Of course. 

"Stop being such a pussy boy and bring that box up." He said in a harsh tone. I scurried upstairs not wanting to start another fight, after all.. That was the reason my entire back was covered in black and purple bruises in the first place. My father usually only hit me when he was drunk.. Which was pretty much every freaking time he was around. Right after my mom died when Sammy was six months old, my father became an alcoholic and started taking out his emotions on me. I was used to it though, it was how I grew up. I don't know what my fathers occupation is, he always kept it secret.. Even to his own children. But often times he would be gone days at a time without any communication, when he was around he either spent that time beating me half to death or passed out on the floor drunk, usually in that order.

"Here, that's the last of them." I said as I handed the last box to my little brother. He just smiled at me and quietly thanked me. 

"Hey dean?"

"Yea?" I asked as I turned around to face Sam.

"How are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, you just seem different, that's all." It was true. 

"Well I can assure you that I'm fine, how about you?" There was a long pause before he spoke up

"I just really hope that this is the last time, I'm getting sick of having to move every four months because of dads 'mystery job'.." 

"Don't worry Sammy, Just a couple more years and I can move out and bring you with me, plus we could always go to Bobby's." Our uncle Bobby has been offering to take us in for years now because of John, but we never did because dad would go complete ape shit. Bobby's full name is Robert Singer, he has a different last name because he insisted on giving Sam and I an option if he ever took custody of us. 

"Okay, just promise me that you wont leave."

"Why would you say something like that? I would never leave you!"

"Just making sure." After he said this I pulled him into an embrace and left to go set up my room.

Sam P.O.V.

I didn't believe him. I couldn't believe him, not after this. We've moved around all our life, every three to four months. But this time was different. Dean was different. I was worried he might do something.. Something bad. John went after him again last night, as always he refused to talk about it afterwards. I called Bobby to let him know about Dean, he said he noticed it too, proving that I'm not imagining things. I just don't know what to do anymore. I strolled over to the cardboard box on my mattress and emptied it, setting my soccer trophy and chemistry books on the bed. I noticed at the bottom of the box was a slip of paper. It had Jessica's number on it. I picked it up and inspected it for a minute, then tossed it into the trashcan by my door. Jess and I weren't actually a 'couple'.. It was more of a friend zone type thing. My older brother on the other hand, for a guy who only stayed at the school for less then four months, he was the most popular kid. He had dozens of friends, all the teachers loved him, and the girls did too. But he just seemed less interested. I threw the empty box across the room along with the others and continued unpacking. 

Dean P.O.V.

 

I only had two AC/DC posters to put on my wall, other than that I just had a few books and a collection of CD's that I had to set up. When I was all done I plopped onto my bed and closed my eyes, I stayed like that for about five minutes until I heard shouting. I quickly jumped up hoping that Sam hadn't gotten into a fight with john, I ran to Sam's room to find him just putting his things away. So if the shouting wasn't from our house, where was it coming from? I ran down stairs to see if there was anything but I only found my father sitting at the kitchen table going through his leather bound journal. 

"Dean! Hey I just needed to tell you that I'm leaving for a few days, you know the drill?" 

"Yea, take care of Sam, got it." and with that, he was out the door. I went back upstairs to tell Sam when I heard another scream, it was faint, and broken. Anxiety filled me because I didn't know where it was coming from, Maybe the neighbors? I eventually decided to tell Sam instead of nosing around something that wasn't my business. After I notified Sam that John left I decided to go on a walk. The rain was mostly gone, just little spits of water here and there but no need for an umbrella. 

I was walking down the street towards the school when I came upon a small park and I sat down on a nearby bench to think. Shit now I have to go to a new school.. Should I join the baseball team?.. Sam's finishing middle school this year.. Who was screaming?.. It came from the red house.. Right?

 

I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even realize what time it was. I started walking back home and the sun was setting so the sky looked like a mirage of light pinks and purples with strong oranges. I tried to enjoy the sight as best I could.. But lately its been kinda hard to enjoy anything. When I got home I made Sam dinner and went back to my room. About a half hour passed and now it was dark out, I was drawing when I heard more shouting. It definitely came from the red house. I went to my window to investigate, I saw a boy about Sam's age jump out of a window and climb down a tree then I saw a boy who looked to be my age stumble out of the window behind him. He missed the tree branch. I watched as he fell to the ground landing on his back and the younger boy screamed. I ran down the stairs and out the back door without thought. The motion light on the side of the house blinded me as I got closer, once I saw that he wasn't moving I ran faster.


	3. Damming The Rest

Sunday Oct. 17, 2016

Dean P.O.V. 

When I reached the fallen boy the first thing I noticed was how blue his eyes were, it seemed like.. A denim blue? He was still conscious, I knelled next to him and asked him if he could move. 

"Yea, I'm fine." He didn't respond right away, it took about minute or two.. That wasn't a good sign. I noticed the bruises and gashes on his head. Those aren't from falling.. I looked him over more closely an noticed the deep red scars on his forearms.. Oh my god..

"Dude, your not 'fine' you just fell out of a tree.." I said as I watched him try and sit up but failed. "What's your name?" I asked the injured blue eyed boy. I also wanted to ask about all the cuts and marks but I restrained myself. 

"Castiel, that's Gabriel." Again, delayed. Hmm, that's kind of an odd name. Its cool though, I have to admit. 

"Ok Cas, I'm going to take you to the hospital because your clearly hurt." I said as I picked him up (bridal style).

"NO! You cant! If you do then they will call Uriel!" I heard as Gabriel pleaded. And with that, I put two and two together.

"Ok, uhh Gabe can you go into my house and get Sam? He's my younger brother, he should be upstairs. Just tell him that we need to go, now."

"Ok, but where are we going?!" He seemed jittery, I don't blame him.

"To my uncles house, its about a ten minute drive and he can help."

"Okay." With that he ran to my house and I went to my car and placed Cas in the passenger seat. I ran to the drivers side and started the car, waiting for the two boys. I watched as Gabe came out first then Sam, they both got in the backseat and I sped off to Bobby's. Sam had called Bobby to let him know that we were coming so when we got there he would be ready. About five minutes later we pulled into the familiar salvage yard (I may have went over the speed limit just a tad) I parked the car and went over to the passenger side to pick up Cas who was now unconscious, Sam and Gabe went inside to get Bobby and I followed behind with the blue eyed boy in my arms. 

Gabriel P.O.V.

"Bobby!" I listened to Sam shout as we entered the house, I held the screen door open for Dean (I learned his name in the car) and Cas. An older guy then rushed into the room setting a first-aid on the table. 

 

"Come 'on, lets get out of their way." I listened to Sam as he tried to direct me out of the room. 

"Is he gonna be okay?" I asked worryingly, if anything severe ever happened to him I wouldn't know what to do.  

"Bobby is the best when it comes to this." 

"Ok." I responded wearily and I followed him out of the room. We walked into a large living room, the walls coated with books. Sam sat down on the couch in the middle of the space and called me over. 

"My names Sam, in case you didn't already know." He said as he extended his hand in greeting. 

"Gabriel." And I shook it. "Cool hair by the way." I said with a light chuckle. 

"Thanks, Dean keeps threatening to cut it." He replied as he ruffled his head, laughing. I overheard Bobby solicit things to Dean in the other room. "So what happened? Sorry if I'm sounding rude.." Sam asked as he turned to face me. 

"No, its not rude. We were just umm.. Trying to get away from someone." 

"Oh." It was quiet for a minute after that. 

"So your new to the neighborhood?" I asked, hoping to change the subject. 

"Yea! New to North Carolina actually.. We moved here from Blacksburg Virginia." 

"Cool! Do you know what school your going to?" I asked, hoping he's going to mine. 

 

"Brown summit middle." I felt myself grin uncontrollably. "Is that where you go?" 

"Yup! Is Dean going to Oakwood?" He nodded. "Looks like him and Cas might become friends." We both then sorta listened into the kitchen where they were. "Lollipop?" I asked as I took one out on my coat pocket and handed it to him. 

"Sure! Do you wanna play a game? I got tons of cards in my room." 

"Yeah!" And we both scurried down the hall and into the room at the end. After about an hour later of just playing cards, Dean called us over saying the kitchen was clear so we set up our game at the table.  

Castiel P.O.V. 

I woke up in an unfamiliar room, I looked around to see if anyone was here. Nobody. I got up even though my head was pounding and walked around to find someone, ignoring how much my body ached. I walked into what I presumed to be a kitchen and found Gabe and Sam, I think that's his name.. Playing cards. When Gabe looked up from his hand and saw me he immediately jumped up and squeezed me into an overwhelming embrace.

"I thought you were going to die!" He said as he pulled away, his eyes starting to well up. I felt the pressure on my bruises ache horribly. 

"You really scared us all." The other boy who I presumed to be Sam countered. 

"Well, I'm all good now so no need to worry." I said as I forced a smile then I heard the door open and two sets of footsteps.

"Boy you shouldn't be walking around, you should be getting rest! You hit your head pretty hard there." I listened as the older man spoke.

"Sorry sir, I was just curious as to my whereabouts."

"Don't worry son, your safe. This is just my dusty old home and please! Call me Bobby." 

"Okay." It was quiet for a moment until I heard another voice, It was slightly deep, but soothing. 

"I'm glad your ok, you really got us worried." I turned to face the source of the voice and my heart skipped a beat when I came face to face with the green eyed boy. Now that I was closer I could really see the color in his eyes, it was sort of a forest green. I couldn't help but take stare at him for a second.. Noticing how his golden brown hair moved in just the right way, or how his jawline moved when he spoke, or how he was perfectly bowlegged.. I quickly looked away so I wouldn't seem weird. I could see he was staring too, probably because I just fell out of a freaking sixteen foot tree and now I was just walking around like nothing happened, so I didn't think much of it. "Oh uhh my names Dean by the way, and that's Sam." He said, directing me to the boy Gabriel had been playing with. All of a sudden I felt self conscious of the bruises and cuts that painted my skin. 

 

"Got it." I gave him a half hearted smile. I know I just met this boy but for some reason whenever he spoke I felt my stomach flip.. I quickly pushed these thoughts away when my phone started ringing. It was Anna. I quickly excused myself from the room and answered it.

"Cas?! Where are you!?"

"I'm with our new neighbors and there uncle."

"Why?! And is Gabe with you?"

"Yea Gabe is with me and I may have fallen out of my window.. but I'm fine! Their uncle helped me."

 

"Damnit Cas, your concussion sounds like its getting worse. You need to come home and rest, you don't want to miss school tomorrow, not with Lucifer in the house."

"Yea uh, I'll get Gabriel."

"Do you need a ride? I can come pick you up."

"Thanks." {shares location}

 

"Be there in ten minutes." And she hung up. I walked back into the kitchen to find everyone still there. 

"Uhh my sister is on her way to pick Gabe and I up."

"Are you sure its wise to go back there?" Dean said with concern. Wait why would he be concerned?

"What do you mean?" I asked hoping that he doesn't know about the abuse, I don't want him to think I'm weak or something. It was then that he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. I felt this strange tingling sensation when he touched me, What was that about? When we were out of hearing range he spoke up and my stomach flipped again.

"lift up your shirt." 

"What? Why wou.." I could feel my face begin to flush red and I mentally slapped myself.

"lift up your shirt!" He said in a more stern voice. At this point I knew what he was talking about. He already knew so no point in hiding it. I lifted my shirt just a little to reveal all the cuts and bruises. "Now I'm going to say it again, Do you really think its wise to go back?"

"How did you know?" And with those words he turned around lifting the back of his shirt revealing a black and purple mess of bruises. "Dean I.." I began to say when he interrupted me

"You don't need to say anything, its fine really. I just don't want you to go back to the people who do this to you."

"Why? Why do you care so much? You don't even know me."

"Your right, I don't know you but for some reason I just feel the need to help you..Will you let me help you?" 

"I'm sorry Dean, if I stay then that would just cause more problems. Plus I don't want to get you stuck in my issues." Then we both heard the sound of a car horn. 

"Fine, but just take this? If anything happens and I mean ANYTHING just call or text okay?" Dean said as he handed me a slip of paper with his phone number on it. 

"Okay, Thank you, for everything." Clearly all my responses were delayed but he didn't seem to mind. 

"No problem." He said with a heart warming smile then I went to go get Gabriel and thank Bobby. 

When we arrived at our house Anna came in with us just in case. I went up to my room and Gabe went to his. I cleaned the ramen mess off my bed and tidied up my room. The rest of that night was quiet, surprisingly. I was just lying in bed staring at my ceiling when all of a sudden all I could think about was Dean.

Dean P.O.V. 

It had been about two hours since Cas and Gabe left. Me and Sam stayed a little longer but we eventually said our goodbyes to Bobby and went back home. The ride back was full of Sam talking about Gabriel, he learned that we will all be attending the same school. I don't exactly know why but when Sam said that I felt a slight rush of excitement buzz through me. I have no idea what's happening to me, when I first saw Cas it was like I got lost in his eyes.. Then the only thought in my head was that I needed to help him. When he showed me how cut up and bruised he was, it actually felt like I got stabbed. Like what kind of horrible parent would hurt there child like that?!... Oh.  I don't know, Cas just seems like an innocent, kind, cute.. WAIT WHAT!? Why am I thinking like this?! I'm not gay! Right? When we arrived back home Sam just got out of the car and went straight to bed because we had our first day of school tomorrow, Ugh. When I got to my room I decided to take a shower. 

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror just looking at all the mixed colors that wrapped around my core. My father usually only hit me where people couldn't see, probably to avoid suspicion. I turned around to see where I hit my back on the railing earlier today, Yup, as I suspected it was a dark purple almost black. I slowly put on a shirt trying not to rub against the tender areas on my back and sides. When I was all finished in the bathroom I went back to my room and collapsed onto my bed drifting into sleep while thinking about a specific pair of blue eyes. 

Castiel P.O.V. [The next morning]

I woke up to the sound of Gabriel running around the house like a complete lunatic shouting something about making a new friend, I assume he's talking about Sam. I got up and walked down stairs, I went to the kitchen to get cereal and sat down at the table with Michael. Michael never hit me he just sometimes made snarky comments, Who doesn't? other than that he was a good brother, even though he's always away at work (he's a mechanic).

"I heard you fell out your window yesterday, a little clumsy don't ya' think?"  Michael said trying not to be an ass, but failed. I just shrugged in response. "Are you okay?" Mike asked but I didn't have time to answer because Lucifer had walked in, I could tell he was still hungover. He didn't say anything as he sat down munching on his own cereal. I tensed as I quickly finished eating and rinsed out my bowl. 

Gabe was waiting at the bus stop with Sam, he waved at me as I started my walk to school. (Gabe goes on the bus because he's in middle school and its father away) I was about halfway down my block when I saw a familiar black Impala slow down next to me.

"Need a ride?" I heard Dean yell from the window

"No, Its okay, but thank you."

"Seriously get in, I don't think its a good idea to be walking around on that ankle." (yesterday when I fell I twisted it) This time his voice sounded more concerned and conceded. I just gave him a funny face and got in. 

"Nice car." I immediately regretted saying that because it was the most cliché choice of words possible..  Damnit I'm so stupid! 

 

"Thanks! it was my fathers but he gave it to me a couple years ago." 

"Oh, what year is it?"

"1967, yep she's an old one."

"You must take really good care of 'her'." His only response was a slight chuckle and a pat on the dash board. 

"Do we have any classes together?" He asked as he handed me his schedule, I quickly looked it over and grinned on the inside. 

"Yea, we have English and art."

"Great!" He said with the warmest smile and I couldn't help but smile in return. When we got to the school Dean parked his car and I thanked him for the ride then we both went our separate ways. I went in the side entrance hoping not to run into Crowley MacLeod and his goons (my bully's) I was relieved when they weren't there so I could just go to class without trouble. 

My first class was boring as shit but I managed, the whole time all I could think about was my next class with Dean. At this point I started to realize I might have a crush on the green eyed boy.. But I knew it would never happen because he was straight. One could only dream. 

Dean P.O.V. 

I had to say, this school wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, even though my first class was hell.. But at least now I have class with Cas. When I walked into English and saw the familiar dark haired boy my heart skipped a beat, I sat down in the empty seat next to him and when he looked up at me and I saw how his features lit up, everything became clearer. When he smiled at me I felt all my insides melt away, Damnit Cas what are you doing to me!? 

"Hey." I said as I returned a smile. 

"Hey." He responded in what seemed to be a shy tone, wait.. Shy? Why would he be shy? He clearly still had a concussion, it didn't seem too bad though. 

The rest of the class was quite enjoyable, we ended up partnering on a writing assignment and basically got to spend the whole class just talking to each other. When the bell rang I had to say I was kinda disappointed 'cause now I had to leave him. 

"See you at lunch?" I asked hoping he would say yes, he just smiled and nodded but he also looked sorta worried.. 

Castiel P.O.V. 

"See you at lunch?" I just nodded in response and gave a half hearted smile then I rushed out of the English room and hurried to my science class before Crowley caught me, just my luck I accidentally bumped into him causing him to drop his stuff. 

"You bitch! You did that on purpose didn't you!" I now knew that I fucked up. "Well?! Pick it up!" I quickly got on my knees to pick up his stuff hoping that he wouldn't kick me "I bet you like getting on your knees don't you! Fucking fag!" It was when he said those words that made me get angry, I threw his stuff at the lockers and pushed him so he stumbled backwards. 

"The fuck you just call me?!" What was I doing?! I never talked back!  

"I called you a fucking faggot! What are you deaf?!" After that I threw one of his books at him. He tried lunging at me but Zach held him back because a teacher was about to walk by. "Your going to fucking pay for that." He said as he stomped back to class. By now the crowd thinned out and I just barely made it on time to my next class. I couldn't even pay attention because I was so worried what Crowley was going to do, and when. I knew I couldn't have lunch with Dean because I didn't want to put him in danger. When class let out, I ran to the bathroom and into a stall locking it behind me. I decided to just hang out in here until lunch was over then I would go to art. Even though the floor was disgusting, I sat down and leaned against one of the walls. I could've sworn I also saw ant's scurrying around the small drain. About fifteen minutes passed when I heard the bathroom door open and a soft knock on the stall door, I knew it wasn't Crowley because he would've just ripped the entire fucking door off. 

"Cas? Is that you?" I listened to Dean speak from the other side of the door.

"Yea." my voice cracked. 

"Are you okay? You seemed nervous earlier.."

"I'm fine." There was a pause. 

"Can I come in?" I got up to unlock the door but then I was overruled by curiosity. 

"Why?"

"..So I can see that your okay?"

"Why do you care? I still just don't understand why your so nice to me.. Why you feel the need to help me." There was another minute of silence until he answered.

"Because were friends, and that's what friends do." When he said these words and It felt as if my heart broke into a hundred pieces, because after all, we would always just be friends. I wasn't very satisfied with his answer but I opened the door anyway. 

"See? I'm fine." He just gave me a suspicious look and sat down next to me. We spent the rest of our lunch period talking about random things like favorite bands and movies, just stuff like that. We both had art together so we walked to class together, I wanted to just reach for his hand and intertwine our fingers but I restrained myself because I didn't want to ruin what we already had. 

In art all we did was free draw so I decided to draw the tree outside my bedroom window. Dean sat at the other side of the table but when the teacher wasn't looking he came to sit in front of me and just watched me, I could feel my face start to burn when he continued watching my hand move along the paper. 

"Damn.." That was all he said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Thanks." I said as I looked up at the forest green eyed boy who had been watching me draw except he wasn't looking at my paper, he was looking at me. I could see the redness in his cheeks start to grow when I caught him staring, holy shit he's adorable. The rest of class was quiet, when the bell rang we both went our separate ways again. I went to Math with a smile plastered on my face, it was almost as if I completely forgot about Crowley and co. Thankfully Math was my last class of the day and it went by pretty fast. Soon the bell rang and I headed for the exit hoping to run into Dean, but of course I ran into dickbag Crowley instead.

"Hey fuckface, remember that time I told you that your going to pay? Yea well that times now."

"Fuck off, Crowley."

"Oh the little bitch thinks its that easy huh?" He shoved me against the lockers and threw my bag across the hall, he punched me square in the stomach. I tried to get away from him but he just threw me to the ground and started kicking me. 

"Crowl- S..Stop!" I managed to say but it clearly wasn't effective. He punt me right in the face, I was definitely going to have black eyes. He continued punching and kicking me and now I was lying against the wall taking all the beatings. My shirt was soaked in blood, when Crowley was finally satisfied he backed off, grabbing my bag and chucking it at my head. There must have been a book at the front because once the fabric came in contact with my face, I was knocked out cold. 

Dean P.O.V. 

I had been looking for Cas for the past twenty minutes, when I turned onto a hallway and watched as a man dressed in black threw a bag at someone else who was just lying on the ground then run off. As I got closer I saw that they were covered in blood then I saw their dark hair and I felt like I was going to throw up. 

"CAS!?" I shouted as I ran towards the unconscious boy."CAS!" I felt my heart race as I picked him up (bridal style, again) and ran to my car. I placed him in the back seat so he was lying on his back. Within a matter of minutes I pulled into my driveway and brought him inside.

"SAM!!" I shouted as I laid Cas down on the couch hoping that he didn't have any serious injury's. As I was getting the first aid from the bathroom I heard two sets of footsteps run down the stairs 

"Yea dean?" Sam asked. 

"CAS!?" Gabriel shouted, I entered the room to see him sitting next to Cas begging him to wake up. Sam just silently watching with concern filling his features. 

"Gabe call your sister! She can help cant she?!" Sam said, clearly worried.

"O.. Okay." He managed to say in between cries and left the room to call. 

"There sister is a nurse just FYI."

"Got it." I said as I sat down next to the still unconscious Cas and started to clean off the blood from his face. Revealing the red and purple bruises that imbrued around his eyes and jawline. 

"What happened?" 

"I don't know, I was just looking for him when I saw someone throw his bag at him.. He must of done this.. I swear I'm going to find who did this and rip his lungs out!"

"Woah calm down!" Then there was a pause, there was no sound except the faint voice of Gabriel on the phone in the other room. "You really care about him don't you?" I had no idea how to respond to that so I just said the first thing that came to mind. 

"Yea, I do." And just like that Sam's face ignited into a deadly grin. "Oh shut up you! I can see what you got going there with Gabriel!" Sam's face flushed red but covered it up by running around shouting.

"DESTIEL! DESTIEL!" But I quickly responded. 

"SABRIEL! SABRIEL!" And then we heard a knock on the door. 

"I'll answer it!" We heard Gabe shout from the other room. A few seconds later a red haired girl rushed into the room sitting next to Cas.

"What happened?"

 

"I.. I don't know I just kinda found him like this." All she did was let out a sigh and fixed him up. I stayed with them the whole time while Sam and Gabe went up to their room. 

Castiel P.O.V. 

When I woke up I found myself on an unfamiliar couch, again. My eyes drifted towards the window and I all I saw was the tree out side my bedroom.. Was I in Deans house? I tried to sit up but someone pushed me back down. 

"Don't get up, you still have a concussion." Dean said as he sat back down in the chair next to the couch. 

"How long have I been out?"

"About two hours." Ugh.. I rubbed the aching part of my head. "Your sister came by and fixed you up."

"Okay." We both just stayed there, staring at each other until Dean broke the contact. 

"So uhh, enlighten me. What exactly happened?"

"Oh, I uh, I may have gotten into a fight with Crowley.."

"Damnit Cas, he could have killed you!"

"But he didn't!" I snapped back a little harsher than I meant to. 

"Can you just promise me that you will at least try to make sure this doesn't happen again? even if dickbag Crowley starts it, don't do anything to make it worse?"

"Yea sure." I was just watching Dean, he was sitting on the edge of the chair hunched over with his elbows on his knees and hands together Staring at the ground. He looked so concerned. Then the silence was broken when he spoke up making my stomach flip once more.

"So I uhh, I was wondering if you wanted to stay for dinner? Sam's making spaghetti.." When he said this his nervousness was clear as day so I didn't make a fuss about it. 

"I would like that." I said with a deep smile.

"Great! I also imagine your going to want to change out of that shirt." He said as I looked down to see what used to be blue, now red. 

"Oh." Was my only response as he tossed me a black T-shirt, he just beamed me a smile and left the room. I quickly changed out of my blood stained shirt and put the oversized black one on, I presumed it was deans because it looked fitting for him. When I was done I slowly stood up so I wouldn't pass out again. I gradually made my way to the kitchen, leaning on chairs and coffee tables so I could keep my balance when I felt someone's arm wrap around my waist.

"You really should just ask for help next time." Gabriel said as he handed me a lollipop but I declined."Eh, your loss." When we entered the kitchen Dean was setting up the table and Sam was stirring something. 

"Hey Cas! I'm glad your feeling better." Sam said as he shared glances between me and Gabe. Gabriel sat me down in one of the chairs and then sat next to me, soon Sam and Dean joined us. Dean sat in front of me and Sam in front of Gabriel, we spent almost two hours just having random conversations and Dean also kept making very subtle funny faces at me that neither Gabe or Sam saw so I was just giggling to myself like an idiot then Dean would laugh with me. It was a good night I'd have to say, It certainly made up for the pervious events from earlier. It was getting late so me and Gabe said our goodbyes then headed back home. Gabe went through the front door but I had to climb the tree and go through my window so I wouldn't run into Uriel or Lucifer, like I said it was late so they were most likely drunk. When I got in my room I decided to take a shower even though I took one that morning. When I finished I went straight to bed, I just laid there staring at my ceiling and drowned in my own thoughts. Why was he so nervous earlier? Deans really cute when he laughs.. What will school be like tomorrow? I wonder if Dean like likes me.. NO he's straight! 

Dean P.O.V. 

 

Right after Cas and Gabe left, Sam and I cleaned up the kitchen, then he went up to do his homework and I went to bed to drift away in my mind.. Why does everyone abuse Cas? I'm pretty sure that Sam and Gabe are a thing.. Damnit Cas is so freaking adorable! I really hope John doesn't come home any time soon.. Am I gay? definitely. I should take Cas somewhere tomorrow..


	4. My BestFriends Radio

Tuesday Oct. 19, 2016

Castiel P.O.V. 

 

When I woke up it was still pretty early so I decided to draw until I had to get ready for school. I wasn't paying much attention to what I had been drawing so when I looked down at my paper and saw a very lifelike image of a certain 67 Chevy impala I was stuck in awe. Gabriel then entered my room, he walked over to me and leaned over my shoulder.

"Hey, isn't that Deans car?" He asked purely out of curiosity. 

"Uhh yea." I said hoping he doesn't catch on to anything..

"Cool! Are you going to show him?" Gabe almost shouted with an animated tone. 

"Umm why would I do that?" 

"Why wouldn't you?" 

"Because that just seems a little weird, don't you think?"

"Hmm.. Wait why did you draw it in the first place?" All I did was give Gabe an innocent shrug, he gave me a very suspicious look and started thinking out loud. "Is it because you like the car? or because you like Dean?.. HOLY SHIT YOU LIKE DE-" I quickly slapped my hand over his mouth so nobody would hear. 

"SHUT UP!" I whisper shouted but all Gabe did was give me the biggest smirk and took out his phone. "What are you doing?" I asked as he took a picture of the drawing and ran out of my room, I ran after him, sprinting down the stairs and out the front door. The crisp autumn air was intoxicating, normally I would've taken more time to observe all the vivid colors of fall but right now I had more important matters to attend to. Where is he going?  I asked myself as he turned the corner towards Deans house the only thing that popped up in my head was Shit Shit SHIT and I ran faster, when we reached his front door step Gabe knocked on the door begging for them to hurry but they didn't answer on time. I tackled Gabe to the ground.   
We've been wrestling for about a minute until I finally got his phone, I looked up to see dean leaning on the door frame in his pajamas just watching us with a huge smile on his face. That smile made me melt away. Gabe caught me staring a little too long because his smirk just returned and began to shout something. 

"DEAN! CAS L-" And I slapped my hand over his mouth once more and watched him struggle. I gave dean a cheeky smile and a single nod before I dragged Gabe back home with my hand still over his mouth. When we got back into my room I let him go.

"The hell was that?!" I asked as he just continued smirking. He tilted his head just the slightest bit to give him the illusion of having an evil face. 

"I know your dirty little secret! HAHAHA!" Was all he said as he sauntered back to his room. I just collapsed onto my bed and gazed at my ceiling. I closed my eyes and all I could see was Dean in his plaid pajama bottoms and a black T-shirt, similar to the one he gave me yesterday (that I am still wearing) I'll give it back to him at school.  

As I was getting ready for school I saw Michael lean on my door frame. 

"Yea?" I asked hoping that Gabriel didn't say anything. Only Anna and Gabe knew that I was gay and I knew that if Lucifer or Uriel found out they would actually kill me, so I never told Michael because he was closer to Lucifer than I ever was. 

"Oh I just overheard your conversation with Gabriel earlier and I noticed that shirt your wearing isn't yours so I kinda just put two and two together.." I didn't respond because I was too shocked. Michael had a one sided smirk on his face as he moved over to my desk, inspecting the drawing of Deans car.. "So.. Dean Winchester, huh." 

"Michael please! Please don't tell Lucifer or Uriel! You know what they would do!?" I was begging now, but the look on his face confused me.. He looked surprised at my reaction.

"Woah chill out! Why would you even think that I was going to tell them? I'm not evil!?" Mike said with a slight laugh. I was so relieved that I pulled him into an unexpected hug.

"Thanks Mike."

"Anytime" He said with a smile as he pulled away.   
After Michael left for work I finished getting ready for school and left without any fuss from the passed out uncle and moody Lucifer. I passed by Gabriel and Sam who were just waiting at the bus stop, I could see that Gabe was showing Sam something on his phone.. Shit. When Gabe looked up from his phone and saw me I just gave him an evil glare. He quickly moved behind Sam who was just laughing at his friends movements. As I was passing Deans house I saw him walking to his car, one part of me wanted to just go up to him and tell him how I felt, but the other part wanted to just run away and hide forever. I kicked at a soggy pile of leaves on the side of the road, debating my options. 

"Hey Cas! Come 'on, I'll give you a lift!" I just sighed and complied not seeing the point in protesting. As I got into the passenger side I noticed he was watching me.

"What?" I said in defense hoping I didn't do anything wrong.

"Nothing, its just that I suggest you stop trying to walk everyday and let me drive you." He said with a light laugh that made my stomach drop, I just returned the smile.   
When we pulled into the parking lot he said one last thing before we went to our separate classes. "So we still on for lunch today?"

"Yea, definitely." I said smiling like an idiot while holding my books up to my chest. 

Dean P.O.V.   

 

God damn Cas is so fucking cute!  At this point I have come clear with my feelings towards this blue eyed boy but I would never say anything because I'm pretty sure he's straight, but then again.. Who knows? I was just taking in the sights of Cas who was sheepishly hugging his books with his bag slung over his shoulder. I couldn't help but notice how his dark brown hair stuck out at odd directions, or how his denim blue eyes contrasted with everything else.. Making them brighter.

"I should probably get to class.. See you at English." Cas said nervously, I could see his face start to burn a deep red as he turned around and went to class. I just grinned as I watch him leave but then I heard my phone buzz, I pulled it out of my pocket to see what the noise had come from. It was a text from Sam.

Sam: Gabe told me that Cas has a crush on you.

When I read that text I felt my face light up. There aren't words to describe how happy I am. I tried my hardest not to run after him and pull him into an embrace and tell him how I felt, but I restrained myself because I didn't know 100% if it was true, after all I was hearing this from a 13 year old boy who heard it from another 13 year old boy.. I guess I was just going to have to find out later today.

[Later that day]

 

Today in school was awesome, in English me and Cas just talked the whole time about completely unrelated topics and at lunch we sat together under a tree in the picnic area that apparently nobody knew about so it was just me and Cas. He said that he goes there every day because its quiet and peaceful and nobody, not even Crowley knew he went there so that made me feel special. After lunch we walked to art together, all I could think about was pushing Cas against the lockers and running my hands through his hair kissing him until he begged for clemency.. I was pulled out of these thoughts when we entered the art room and Mrs. Talbot (our teacher) started giving instructions that I just tuned out, I could tell that Cas wasn't paying attention either because he was just drawing random things. 

"Winchester." I quickly snapped my head up at the stern voice to come face to face with the old hag of a teacher. 

"Yes ma'am?" I replied with a hint of attitude. 

"What are you doing out of your seat?" I then noticed that I was sitting across from Cas even though my seat was on the other side of the table. I looked over at Cas who was just softly laughing under his breath, I quickly gave him a funny face then returned to my seat. 

"Sorry ma'am."

"Mmhm, just make sure it doesn't happen again." She said just before she resumed giving a lesson on lines and shit. About ten minutes passed when she got a phone call. "Alright, listen up class! I have to go, some family issues came up so now they are sending up a substitute for the rest of the period. I want you all on your best behavior! And if any of you try and pull some funny business you will be attending detention, do I make myself clear?" Nobody gave any direct answers, just the sound of a classroom full of teenagers groan in response. Once the teacher left the room I walked back over to Cas and we ended up playing Pictionary the rest of class. When the bell rang I had to go to World Civilizations (aka History) we have been learning about Greek gods and stuff, like seriously? None of this shit is real so why do we need to learn about it?! Thankfully that class went by pretty quick. When class was over I ran to Cas's math room to make sure he didn't get into another heated fight with that asshat Crowley. I got there early so I just watched as the shorter blue eyed boy packed up his things and left the class room. 

Castiel P.O.V.

The entire period that I was suppose to be in math, I was actually somewhere else in my mind. I was just replaying the previous events from earlier that day, I must've pondered off because next thing I know, class was over. After I packed up all my stuff and started walking to the door I saw Dean in the doorway and my heart fluttered. At lunch he said he would drive me home but some part of me didn't want to go home at all. 

"Hey." I uttered as I looked up at the freckle faced boy.

"Hey." And with that breathtaking smile of his, I wanted so badly to just pull him down to my height and just kiss him until the need for air was absolutely necessary. "So you uhh, you ready to go?" I watched as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand but still looking down at me, even though Dean was only like two inches taller than me it was still quite noticeable. 

 

"Y-yea." I mentally slapped myself for stuttering but he didn't seem to care, he just gave me another one of those heart melting smiles and started walking towards the door. When we both got to the impala I quickly remembered the shirt he lend to me the day before and handed it back to him, he quietly thanked me and threw it in the backseat. Is it just me or does he seem nervous? I pushed these thoughts aside and just focused on the music playing from the radio, 'Can you feel my heart' by Bring Me To The Horizon flowed throughout the vehicle. I looked over at Dean who was just mouthing the lyrics and tapping to the beat on the steering wheel, I couldn't help but smile at the boy who was now playing air guitar while we waited on a red light. I guess I'd been so focused on Dean and the music that I hadn't realized we were going in the complete opposite directing of our homes.. "Uhh Dean? Where are we going?"

"Cant say, its a surprise!" His voice was full of enthusiasm and excitement but still coated with disquiet. 

"Okay but your not going to like, bring me to an abandoned house and murder me right?"

 

"Dude, you watch way to many movies." He finished that last part with a lethal laugh.

"Its called books Dean, books." And returned the laugh in which he joined. We drove about another five minutes until we pulled onto a dirt road that lead into the woods. "So you ARE going to kill me.." I said with another chuckle. Honestly I had no idea what we were doing here, but I trust him. As we drove further into the forest I saw an open clearing up ahead, it was surrounded by weeping willow trees (my favorite tree) with their branches so neatly flowing over one another. When Dean parked the car he just turned to me and gave me a cheeky grin.

"See? No plastic tarps!" 

"I think your the one who watches to many movies."

"*cough* TV SHOW *cough*." 

"Whatever!" I said as I lightly hit him on the shoulder. 

"Come 'on!" He shouted as he jumped out of his car and ran towards the front.

"What are we doing here anyway?" I questioned as the green eyed boy just shrugged and took my hand and dragged me over to the picnic table that sat under one of the trees HOLY SHIT DEAN WINCHESTER IS HOLDING MY HAND!?! What does that mean?!? Wait, friends do that all the time! Right?!  I caught myself blushing and tried to hide it before Dean noticed. When we reached the table I had been able to tame down the redness in my cheeks just a bit, then he let go of my hand and I wish he hadn't but all that went away when he started to speak and my stomach flipped again. 

"I drove by here the other day and I thought it would be a cool hangout spot."

"It certainly has my vote." 

"How so?"

"Well weeping willows are my favorite tree, they're just so fluent with the way there branches fold." When I said this Dean looked up at the trees above us with awe. 

"I have to agree with you there." Then we both just took in the presence of each other and the trees. "So, tell me." I didn't know what he was talking about so I just tilted my head a little to the left in confusion. 

Dean P.O.V.

 

I watched as Cas tilted his head just the slightest bit in confusion, Damnit Cas! You know exactly how to make me go insane about you. 

"Well I mean, if were going to be like best friends or something I'm gonna need to know a little more about you." I hated using the words 'best friend' because I wanted to be more than that, but I still don't know for sure if he feels the same way.. 

"Oh uhh, well what do you want to know?" 

"Everything." And with that we spent about two hours just talking about our past and present. He told me about his family and how his father died in a car accident two years ago and that he never meet his mother also that Gabriel never met his either. He said that he had three brothers, Gabriel, Michel and Lucifer and one sister named Anna. I learned that he lived with his uncle Uriel, he was also the one who beat on him the worst, that is next to Lucifer. I also learned many other things about this blue eyed boy today but he also learned things about me too. I never usually told people this stuff but it just felt different with Cas, I felt like I could trust him with anything and everything. I told him about how my mother died in a house fire when I was only four years old and that I basically raised my little brother Sammy because my father was just an old abusive drunk who didn't know how to. Other than that there really wasn't much to me, It was when we both ran out of words that we decided to head back home. The ride back was quiet, well except for Cas who was singing along to 'Sweater weather' by The Neighborhood. I loved listening to the sound of his voice, it was very clear so I could make out the lyrics perfectly..

 

And all I am is a man  
I want the world in my hands  
I hate the beach  
But I stand in California with my toes in the sand  
Use the sleeves on my sweater  
Lets have an adventure  
Head in the clouds but my gravity centered  
Touch my neck and I'll touch yours  
You in those little high waisted shorts  
Oh, he knows what I think about  
And what I think about  
One love, two mouths  
One love, one house  
No shirts, no blouse  
Just us, you find out  
Nothing I really wanna tell you about no  
'Cause it's too cold, whoa  
For you here  
And now, so let me hold, whoa  
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater  
And if I may just take your breath away  
I don't mind if there's not much to say  
Sometimes the silence guides your mind  
So move to a place so far away  
The goosebumps start to race  
The minute that my left hand meets your waist  
And then I watch your face  
Put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love to taste yeah  
These hearts adore, everyone the other beat heart is for  
Inside this place is warm  
Outside it starts to pour  
Coming down  
One love, two mouths  
One love, one house  
No shirts, no blouse  
Just us, you find out  
Nothing I really wanna tell you about, no no no  
'Cause it's too cold, whoa  
For you here  
And now, so let me hold, whoa  
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater  
'Cause it's too cold, whoa  
For you here  
And now, so let me hold, whoa  
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater  
Whoa, whoa, whoa  
Whoa, whoa whoa  
Whoa, whoa whoa  
Whoa, whoa  
Whoa, whoa whoa  
Whoa, whoa  
'Cause it's too cold, whoa  
For you here  
And now, so let me hold, whoa  
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater  
It's too cold, whoa  
For you here  
And now, so let me hold, whoa  
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater  
It's too cold, it's too cold  
The hands of my sweater

 

"Damn, how do you know the lyrics so well?" I asked in awe.

"Practice." Was all he said with the warmest smile, I couldn't help but smile back. When we pulled into my driveway I was sorta disappointed that now he had to leave but I was also extremely happy that I got to spend my afternoon with him. He just gave me a wave goodbye then climbed the tree and through his window. 

The rest of that night was normal, I made Sam dinner and did my homework then took a shower. It was about nine and I was lying on my bed just staring out my window when I saw Cas climb out his window and mossy off into the forest behind our houses. Curiosity overruled me, I was debating going after him but then I heard the front door open. Shit. It was when Sam quickly came into my room with his face flushed with fear that I could feel myself pale.

"John's home."

Castiel P.O.V. 

When I left it was around nine, I went to my usual thinking place (the pond in the forest behind my house). As I was climbing out my window I noticed that next to Deans sleek 67 Impala was a different 1980 Chevy truck , Its tires almost as big as my entire window. I just assumed it was some girl from school trying to impress him so I didn't think much of it, Even though it kinda hurt to think he was with some random girl right now.. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. 

I had just been sitting by the edge of the water drowning in my own thoughts and getting so lost that I hadn't even paid attention to the time, I knew it was getting late though so I started my walk back. Right before I climbed back up the tree I looked to see if the truck was still there, It wasn't. As I got into my room I collapsed onto my bed facing my alarm clock, 11:35 and I drifted away into a reckless sleep.

 

Dean P.O.V.

"Sam go to your room and lock the door." I said with force hoping that he would listen.

"But Dean?!"

"No buts! Just go now!" He gave me his puppy dog eyes and scurried to his room. Taking any and all of the beatings was better than watching him hurt Sam.

"DEAN!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE." Terror filled me like a glass when I heard these words, I didn't know what else to do so I just dashed halfway down the staircase to watch as my drunken father stumbled into the hallway. 

"Y-yes dad?" My voice was full of restrain and defeat.

"SIR." He shouted back at me, even from five feet away I could still smell the sent of scotch on his breath.. It was disgusting. 

"S-s-sorry sir!"

 

"I SAW YOU WITH THAT CROOKED KID NEXT DOOR."  John shouted as he yanked on my arm causing me to fall down the rest of the stairs, I let out I slight yelp as I landed on my side. Horrible mistake. He started kicking me in my vulnerable state.

"He's just a friend!" I shouted back at him hoping that he would show mercy, but of course, just as suspected all it did was make him angrier.  

"FRIEND MY ASS! I DID NOT RAISE MY SON LIKE THIS!" At this point I was hunched over on my knees and elbows just taking the blows as I spit blood all over the rug. It was when he kept kicking and thrashing that I knew this time would be different. It felt as if my insides where becoming mush, they probably actually were. 

"Please." I whimpered before he started booting me in the head, I let out a loud cry as he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the kitchen. When John started to bash a rolling pin over my head I started to see black dots everywhere, then I saw Sam enter the room. "No." Was all I managed to get out before John started walking towards Sam with the rolling pin still in hand. Sam just gave me a sad smile before he pulled out the book he had behind his back and smashed it over Johns head, and everything went black. 

Sam P.O.V.

I had gotten so fed up with dad and the way he treated dean that I decided to do something about it this time instead of just hiding in my room. I quickly grabbed a dictionary from the bookshelf in the living room and rushed over to the kitchen, when dad saw me he started walking over to me with the pin still in hand, a wave of fear circulated within me but I just gave Dean a sad smile as I smashed the book on our fathers head only causing him to stumble backwards. All of a sudden I had lost all of the confidence I possessed just moments before and I felt defenseless as john regained balance and looked even more enraged, he lunged at me making me plummet to the ground and smacked me in the face with the rolling pin.

"Don't." Was all I managed to get out as he stared at me, pin still in hand, raised in the air ready to strike. About a minute of intense glares went by and he staggered out of the house, driving away, a part of me hoped he would crash. I hastily got up from the ground and rushed towards the now unconscious Dean, I shook his shoulders begging for him to wake up because he was still bleeding and needed help. I called Bobby telling him everything that just happened and he raced to our house as fast as he could. When Bobby arrived he just patched me up and tried to help the still unconscious dean, about two hours went by until he woke up but Bobby was already gone by then, something about work. 

"Whoa, Sam?! What happened are you ok?!" Dean said directing towards my bandaged forehead and black eye. 

"Yea Dean I'm fine, I'm just worried about you."

"Don't worry Sammy, there's nothing he can do to me that I cant take." I just gave him a smartass look when he said that because he was clearly wrong. It was around 2am when I caught dean sitting in the living room just staring blankly at the floor, it kinda looked like he was contemplating something. 

"Hey dean, you alright?"

"Wha- yea Sam, I'm fine." But I could tell he clearly wasn't, "Why don't you go on up to bed, you don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't want to, its fine." As he said this he got up from his sitting position and went up to his room and stayed there the rest of the night. 

 

When morning came around I decided I wouldn't go to school so I could watch dean and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. It was around one in the afternoon and Dean still hasn't left his room, I was about to get a freaking hammer and smash his door down when I heard a knock on the front door. I knew it wasn't dad because he would've just walked in and he never comes back during the day, so I just assumed it was Bobby and I opened the door. Imagine my surprise when I saw Castiel on our door step during school hours.


	5. Cotton Feelings

Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2016

Castiel P.O.V. 

The next day at school was lonely, Dean hadn't been in any of our classes together and he wasn't at our usual lunch spot. As always I started thinking that maybe he was with some other girl having the time of his life and my thoughts overpowered me. What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? We had a fun time yesterday right?! He basically saved my life twice shouldn't that count for something?! What if something bad happened to him? Should I go there after school to check on them?

 

"Castiel Novak." I jerked my head up to come face to face with my math teacher who was just watching me with a stern look. 

"Yes?" 

"Please either pay attention to my class or leave." Even though that was suppose to be a rhetorical question, I gathered all my things together. "Young man, where do you think your going?" 

"You said pay attention or leave," I replied with the slightest bit of sass, ignoring the giggles and whispering that flowed throughout the classroom. 

"Very well, you may leave but you will also be attending detention with me after school tomorrow." I just rolled my eyes and left the room leaving the rest of the chattering and stares that were being sent my way. Math was my last class of the day so I just started my walk to Deans house. As I turned the corner and both our houses came into view I noticed that his car was still in his driveway Hhmm.   
I only knocked on the door once before it swung open revealing Sam, he had a large bandage on his head along with a black eye. 

"Whoa Sam are you alright?" I asked with concern as he grabbed my arm pulling me inside and shutting the door behind us. 

"Yea yea I'm fine, its just Dean.." It was clear that the younger boy was distressed. 

"What happened? Is he alright?" I think I might have rushed my words to much because now Sam was giving me a similar smirk to the one Gabriel gave me when he found out..  "Oh stop, he's just a friend." 

"Mmhm." 

"Ugh.. Just.. Where is he?" 

"Upstairs, room on the right. He hasn't come out all day so I wouldn't expect much."

"Got it." I said as I climbed up the stairs looking for a room on the right. His room was at the end of the hallway and had an AC/DC poster above the frame. I softly knocked on the door.

"Dean? Sam's really worried and-" I was cut off when the door fully opened reviling Dean who was covered in cuts and bruises, I felt my stomach drop at the sight of the beaten boy. He pulled me inside closing the door behind him, he then walked back over to the other side of his bed and sat on the ground with his back against the mattress. I just watched for a moment as a perturbed look spread across my features, I then followed and sat cross-legged in front of him.  "What happened?" No answer. He was just staring at the ground blankly, about a minute passed without any form of response when I sorta gave up and tried to find what he was looking at. I soon found the ant that his forest green eyes had been fixated on and we both just watched the little creature as he scurried along the floor board.. 

 

Dean P.O.V.

 

I had spent all day and all night thinking about what my father said and poking at the bandages around my core, when he said those things all I could think about was proving him wrong. All I could think about was how I could show him that I am my own person and that he can't tell me how to live my life. In just the few days that I've know Castiel, I've learned that I have fallen for this boy and nobody not even my father is going to interfere with that.   
We were just watching an ant scamper around on the floor when I looked up to see Cas still studying the small critter. Right here, right now in this moment it almost felt like everything was perfect, but something was missing.. I reached out my hand and brushed it against the side of his face causing him to look up at me with those adorable and confused denim blue eyes. We locked contact for what seemed like eternity of just searching into each others eyes until he started to speak.

"Dean?" He asked but I just shushed him off. 

"Your gay right?" I asked and I could tell it shocked him. 

"Uhh.. Umm.. Y-yea?" His stuttering made him even more adorable. 

"Good." And with that, I pulled both our faces together caressing his lips like it would be the last time I ever got the chance, my sudden movements must have shocked him even more because it took him a few seconds to respond with similar gestures. It was a warm and passionate and I wish it would never end but soon we both ran out of breath and had to pull away. 

"Whoa, that was.. Unexpected." As he said this I couldn't help but let out a slight chortle. I sheepishly looked at the ground when I came up with a response.

"I've been thinking about this all day.. I don't give a shit what my father thinks, or anyone else for that matter because I know how I feel about you, but I just gotta make sure.. Do you feel the same?" 

Castiel P.O.V.

 

My mind went blank and all I could do was stare at him, HOLY SHIT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!?!? I got so lost in his eyes that I almost forgot to answer, I just assumed he could read my mind or something but then again I wouldn't want that because he would possibly go deaf from all the shouting. My stomach was rioting with butterflies, I also felt my face burning up.

"I thought this day would never come, yes Dean Winchester I very much feel the same." And I pulled him into another kiss similar to before but longer. We both jerked away when we heard something drop on the other side of the room, Sam was standing in the doorway, mouth agape, book on floor. We all just locked in an awkward eye contact for a minute until he started running down the hall screaming.

"GABBBBEE ITS HAPPENING!!!!" Me and dean just shared a laugh and proceeded with our previous events.

Sam P.O.V. 

After I was scarred from the sight of Dean and Cas I called Gabriel telling him that he needed to get his ass over here. When Gabe arrived we both pestered the new couple and conspired a perfect plan. Gabe and I almost fell down the stairs trying to rush our way to the living room where they were watching a movie together. Cute. 

"Hey Dean?" I asked regretting interrupting the two. 

"What's up Sammy?" I enjoyed seeing Dean happy like this, before we moved here he always just seemed sorta depressed. 

"Oh I was just wondering if they could stay the night? Like a sleepover?" He then looked over at Cas who was looking back at him, they seemed to be talking through eye contact. 

"Why not?" My older brother said with a cheeky smile as he put his arm back around Cas and I saw him blush, Awe. I looked over at Gabe pointing to the two older boys sitting on the couch together and gave him a wild smirk then we both ran back up to my room. 

"Gabe you should call your sister to let her know your staying here." I said as we both skipped the top step of the staircase. 

"Ok." Gabe replied as he ran ahead towards my room to retrieve his phone. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I listened as they ran back upstairs then turned my attention back to Dean, his arm was still slung over my shoulder so I was leaning on him a little bit. Honestly, I never want this to end, I just feel safer around him, I feel like someone other than family actually cares about me. We were watching 'Batman Returns' but I wasn't paying attention to the movie, I was paying attention to how Dean mouthed all the lines like he knew them by heart. I must have been staring a little too long because I started to feel my face burn red (something that usually happens in moments like this) I tried to brush it off but Dean caught me. 

Dean P.O.V.

I feel like this is all just a dream. I'm just so damn happy that this beautiful blue eyed boy is right here sitting next to me, everything couldn't be more perfect. I wasn't paying much attention to the movie but I was still mouthing all the words. I looked over at Cas to see him covering his face with the sleeves of his sweater, his face flushed even more red when he caught me watching. 

"Awe." Was all I said as I pulled him closer and leaned my head on his. 

 

We were so caught up in the moment of being together that neither of us kept track of the time, the movie had been long over and it was now dark outside. Cas was resting his head on my lap as he held his book above his face, I was running my fingers through his hair as Sam came running into the room with Gabe and a couple blindfolds. 

"Put these on! We have a surprise!" Sam demanded as he threw the pieces of cloth at us. Cas put his book on the floor beside the couch and sat up straighter so he could give the two younger boys a better look of confusion. 

"Umm.. What?" I asked as Sam just stood there giving me his famous bitch face, but Gabriel was wildly smirking. What is this? "Your not going to like, lure us off a cliff or something right?" 

"Don't worry! It's nothing bad. Just put them on a we will direct you" Gabe said in an animated tone. I just gave Cas a 'fuck it' look and put the blindfold on, he did the same. 

"Good." I heard Sam say as I also heard him walk over to us and take our arms to direct us to god knows where. I walked slow so I didn't bump into anything or fall, I hated not being able to see. It made me feel vulnerable, but I kept these thoughts to myself knowing that I was safe. I heard Gabriel giggling like a little girl as Sam stopped, then I heard a door open and I was shoved inside. 

"What the hell Sam?" I half shouted as I heard the door lock, I took my blindfold off to fully process where I was. Those little shits locked me and Cas in the smallest closet in the house. "Ha ha very funny! Now let us out!" 

"Nope." And then there was the sound of two sets of foot steps running up the stairs. I looked down at Cas who was just inches apart from me because there wasn't any room, his arms rested on my chest and mine around his sides. 

"Uhh.. Kinda ironic actually." I said with a light chortle trying to hide my nervousness. He just laughed in response and it made my stomach drop, I love the way he laughs. I tried swaying back and forth a little to hide my nervousness. I don't think it worked because Cas eventually caught on, even though it was dark I could still see his face redden a little. Fuck. This is embarrassing. What do I say?! Shit shit shit. I could feel my face darken. Cas just let out a slight chuckle and pulled my face down to his and kissed me, at first it was slow and passionate but then things started heating up and it soon became a complete make out session. I was undoubtedly enjoying this, I don't know how long we've been at this but honestly who cares? My hands were running through his hair as he bit my lip and pulled away, honestly I could stay right here forever if I had Cas with me. 

"Sshh.." I listened as I looked him in confusion, my questions were soon answered when I heard two sets of foot prints running down the stairs and towards the closet door. I don't really care if they let us out or not if it means I could stay here with this denim blue eyed boy, but they opened the door anyway. It wasn't until the hallway light filled the small room that I noticed how messy both our hair was and that Cas's sweater was halfway unbuttoned.. 

"Whoa, looks like you two have been busy." Gabriel exclaimed as I pushed the door fully open and I grabbed Cas's hand pulling him out and into the kitchen.

"Yea maybe next time we need to shove you two in the closet, oH wait! I'm so sorry, your already in it!" I teased as I ruffled Sams hair and walked over to the cabinets, he just let out a slight 'humf' noise and aggressively sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. "So, what do you guys want for dinner? We got.. Umm.. Well, we got shopping to do so why don't we just order pizza?" 

"Yes!" Both Sam and Gabe shouted as they ran out of the room and into the living room turning on the tv. Me and Cas just shared glances as I went upstairs to get my phone. 

The rest of that night was quiet and satisfying. Sam and Gabe were passed out on the floor next to each other while me and Cas were on the couch. His head rested on my stomach as he slept, I was still awake so I reached for the remote to turn the TV off hoping not to wake Cas. I then grabbed a blanket from the table next to us and laid it over the sleeping boy and rested my head on the arm of the couch closing my eyes.

Gabriel P.O.V. [The next morning]

When I woke up I had no idea where I was. I jumped up knocking Sam over, It took me a minute to gather my thoughts and figure out where the hell I was, Oh! I was at Sams house! For a second I also forgot how to stand so I stumbled back on the floor, this is useually what happens when I wake up to early. I rubbed my eyes so I could see better, when I opened them back up the first thing I noticed was Cas and Dean sleeping on the couch. Cas's head rested on dean's stomach and Dean had his hands wrapped around him. AWEE. I softly but forcefully punched Sam to get him to wake up.

"SAM." I whisper shouted not wanting to wake the sleeping couple, Sam's head shot up in shock and scowled at me but all I did was mockingly scowl back and point to the two on the couch. 

"AAahhhh!" Sam whispered as he cluched his head. "Its too cute!!!" Then we both started laughing uncontrolably. Once we calmed ourselves, Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me into the kitchen.

"We should make them breakfast before they wake up!" He said as he took a box of pancake mix out of the cupboard, he then walked across the room to get a few pans from the drawer underneth the oven. Soon all the ingredients and dishes were set out on the counter to make pancakes. 

After about fourty minutes of making breakfast and fooling around makeing a complete mess, we managed to get batter on each others faces, cloths and even the ceiling. We were about to clean up as Cas stumbled into the room clearly still half asleep, once he saw what a mess we made his eyes widened and he just stood there examining Sam and I. 

"I see you two have been busy." My older brother said, quoteing us from last night. 

"Ha ha." Sam said half heartly as he walked into he living room where Cas came from. 

Dean P.O.V.

I stired awake as I noticed Cas was no longer next to me and sat up straighter rubbing my face with my hands. I stayed there just sitting on the edge of the couch for about a minute or two until I heard someone enter the room, I looked up to see Sam walking towrds me. 

"Come 'on get up, Gabe and I made breakfast and we have school in an hour." Sam said as he threw the blanket off of me and walked back into the kitchen, I followed, trying not to collapse back onto the couch and fall back asleep. As I was walking into the kitchen I saw what a mess the two boys made.. Holy.. shit. 

"Damn." Was all I managed to say as I walked over to Cas who was standing on the other side of the room, I wrapped my arms around his core from behind and rest my forehead in his soft brown hair "Morning sunshine." I uttered as he grabbed my arms and wrapped them around him tighter. 

"Gross." Gabriel replied making a vomiting gesture. 

"Eat, we didn't make a mess for nothing." Sam said as he set the last plate on the table and sat down along with Gabe.

"Mmm smells good." I said as Cas took my hand and directed me to the empty side of the table across from the two younger boys. We all started digging into our breakfast as I saw Gabriel lean over and whisper something in Sam's ear and Sam's eyes widened. "What?" I asked curiously but all the boys did was laugh too themselves and continued munching on there flapjacks acting as if nothing happened, Cas and I just shared confused glances then let it go, finishing our food. When we all finished cleaning the disaster of a kitchen Sam and I went upstairs to find clothing the two other boys could wear for school. It wasn't very hard to find clothing that would fit Castiel because we were pretty much the same size except for the fact that my shirts would be a little baggy, I don't think he would mind though. 

Sam had already been out the door with Gabriel as I tossed Cas his orange backpack. We were soon out the door and into the car as I realized Cas hasn't really spoken much at all this morning. 

"Not a morning person I'm guessing?" I asked in a light tone with a chuckle as I pulled out of the driveway, all he did was groan in response then laughed along with me. The rest of the ride was silent except for the faint sound of Castiel humming the song 'Sweater Weather' I just loved listening to the sound of his voice, I don't know why but every time it just relaxed me. As we pulled into the schools parking lot I turned to face the blue eyed boy.

Castiel P.O.V.

 

All morning all I could think about was making sure that Crowley didn't get to Dean, I knew that if he started being around me a lot in school then Crowley and co. would get suspicious. I cant do that to him, I care about him to much to put him in that kind of danger. 

"So I will pick you up at Math today?" Dean said as he turned to face me, and just like that I had completely forgotten about my detention. Shit. This actually wasn't my first detention because Crowley would sometimes be a little ass kisser and blame me for starting a fight even though I would be the one half unconscious. 

"Uuh, I cant. I have detention." Damnit I really hope that didn't sound like I just don't want to be around him. I just watched as his face turned to shock and his eyes widened, he was quiet for moment until he spoke up.

"Wow I never really saw you as the bad boy type." He said with a laugh that made my stomach drop in a good way. 

"Haha very funny, its just because I left early yesterday." I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and looked back at him only to see him staring back at me with amusement. 

"Why would you leave early?" He asked and I immediately felt my face burn red. 

"To see if you were okay." I mumbled as I stumbled out of the car and closed the door. It was as if his face lit up, he quickly jumped out of the car and leaned on the hood. I was just standing feet away from him as he stared back at me with the look of amusement and confusion. Why was he confused? I felt my face burning hotter an hotter as he walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist kissing me on the forehead. 

"Come 'on, were gonna be late to class." He said as we walked towards the school, his arm still around my waist. I was smart enough to separate from him as we got close enough to the school were people could see us, I definitely did not want to arouse suspicion. We then both said our goodbyes and went to our separate classes.

Dean P.O.V. [Later that day]

 

Cas and I had just finished eating lunch together in our regular spot when I noticed he was acting a little strange. We were both walking to class together when that dickbag Crowley tripped Cas and spilled his drink all over him. 

"Opps." He said in the most shallow way possible, proving that he didn't really care. I helped him get back up on his feet and shot Crowley an evil glare. "Maybe you should pay more attention to where your going, Fag." Right after he said this I pushed him against the lockers forcefully.

"To hell with you! Why don't you pick on someone your own size." I shouted in his face as I pinned him to the lockers proving my dominance.  

"Ooo! I'm so scared! Maybe you should tell your fucking boyfriend to stay out of my way!" I punched him square in the face as I felt another arm on my shoulder, I turned around to see Cas looking at me with defeat. 

"Don't, It'll just make things worse." He said as Crowley pushed me away giving me a dirty look. 

"Dean Winchester!" A stern voice shouted as we all turned to see Mrs. Tran  (the math teacher) "Detention! We do not tolerate violence!" And I know I should have been disappointed but all I did was mentally grin knowing that I would be with Cas, Crowley then stomped back to his class and I grabbed Cas's hand and pulled him into the closest bathroom and locked the door.

"Take your shirt off." I demanded, throwing him my button up that I had over my T-shirt, all he did was laugh quietly to himself and looked at me with those adorable eyes.

"Funny, this is the second time this week you've said that." He said with another laugh and I couldn't help but chuckle in return, I rolled my eyes and pulled his shirt off trying to ignore how much he had been blushing and how that made him even more adorable. 

"Cas, this has to stop. You gotta let me help you! You cant just keep letting these guys walk all over you." I said as he dropped his head, just something else that drove me insane abut him. I reached forward and tipped his face up so I could get lost in his eyes once more and it was just silent for a good minute. 

"I don't get it, of all people you could have been with you chose me. Why? Why do you care so much?" He mumbled softly and I stepped closer and rest my hand on his cheek.

"I care because were friends, and that's what friends do." Then there was another minute of silence.

"Just friends?" Silence. 

"More than friends." I said roughly grabbing his face and crashing my lips onto his pushing him against the wall, my hands traveling down his body landing on his hips, his hands wound in my hair as he kissed me back, almost feeling how shocked he was I smiled around his lips. "I love you Cas, that's why I care." I smiled cockily as he blushed looking down again.

Castiel P.O.V. 

I had been so shocked that I didn't know what to do or what to say.. All that was going on in my mind was the same word.. Finally. I had been looking down to try and hide the redness in my face but I clearly failed, I bit my lower lip and said the words I had been wanting to say for what seemed like thousands of years now.

"I love you too." And with that I lifted my head back up to come face to face with the wildly grinning forest green eyed boy. I pulled him down to my height and kissed him once more, about a minute or two passed by before I pulled away."Dean, I.. I don't think we should go public with this.. I'm sorry." I hated having to say these words, mostly because I was scared of his reaction. The look on his face felt like I got punched in the stomach, he looked confused but hurt. "I just don't want you to have to deal with Crowley like I do." I added hoping it would change his expression. 

"Cas.. You don't need to worry about me! I can kick his lily white ass! Its you who I'm worried about." Dean said as he cupped my face in his hands looking at me straight in the eyes from only inches away. 

"Still.. I don't want to have to put you through that"

"Your not putting me through anything. If Crowley wants to fight I'll give him a fight. Cas I really care about you and I want to help you, so just.. Let me help you? Please?" He said in a sort of pleading way, I gave in just because I couldn't argue anymore. I was too tired. 

 

"Okay." I said just as I buttoned the last stud on the shirt Dean gave me. He lifted my head, kissed me one last time, then took my hand and lead me out of the bathroom and into art. Class had already started but the teacher wasn't paying attention so we just went to our separate seats and continued with our previous work. 

That class went by fairly quick, so did my next one. Before I knew it I was in detention with Dean, and even that went by faster than I wanted. The whole time we just kept passing notes and fooling around when the teacher wasn't in the room, but soon that was over too. The rest of that night was sort of a blur, my mind just blocking out random things so it seemed shorter. At around ten I collapsed onto my bed hoping my drowsiness would go away with sleep.   
When I woke up I still felt like shit. I sluggishly made my way over to my calendar and marked off yesterday and checked toady, today is Friday Oct. 22. That entire morning seemed to fade from my memory, so did the rest of the day. I knew I wasn't myself right now. After school Dean had drove me home then went to his uncles with Sam to help him with some car project. I was definitely not looking forward to this weekend, it usually ended bloody. At this point I had been so tired I didn't even bother going through my window so I just went in the front door. Horrible mistake. 

"Castiel!" Uriel Shouted. Clearly drunk.

Dean P.O.V.

I had just dropped Cas off back at his house, he seemed abnormally tired. I was worried, all day he had been acting strange and I had no idea why. It couldn't have been about our conversation yesterday right? We cleared that up!  I just don't know what to do. Tomorrow is Saturday so I will check on him in the morning, I really hope it wasn't something I said Oh god what if it is? What if I said something that hurt him?! I never wanted to hurt him!  I watched as Sam ran out of the house and into the car, then we headed towards Bobby's. Bobby had called me the other day asking me if we could go over and help him with a car project. When we arrived Sam just jumped out of the car and ran towards the house, I quietly followed keeping my thoughts to myself as I saw Bobby's neighbor had there Halloween decorations set up. As I opened the front door I saw Sam sitting on the couch playing with Riot. Rufus (Bobby's friend) had dropped his dog off yesterday for Bobby to dog-sit tonight. 

"Dean! There you are, thought you got lost somewhere." Bobby said as he patted me on the back, letting out a slight laugh. 

"Nah, I just dropped Cas off at home."

"Oh, how is he? Last time I saw him he was between states of unconsciousness and lost."

"He's.. Good, of all the shit he's been through just this week he's keeping himself together."

"You two have gotten close, eh?" Bobby said nudging my elbow as he walked past me and towards the fridge pulling out a beer, then we both turned our heads when we heard Sam enter the room with an evil smirk. He just strutted past us, snatching a water bottle from the fridge then saying in the most snarky way possible,

"Its canon." And it was that moment that I swore I was going to kill him, once Sam turned around I flipped him off knowing that he couldn't see. Bobby's face just formed into a shocked but fathom look, then made the 'but that's none of my business' expression. I just rolled my eyes and headed out the door and towards the garage, Bobby followed. 

Castiel P.O.V.

"Castiel!" I listened as Uriel stumbled into the hallway. There was no point in running, no point in defending myself at all really. "Where the hell have you been?" Uriel shouted, practically spiting. 

"I.. I was with a friend." I said clearly showing my surrender, Uriel just smacked me over the head and shouted in my face again. 

"Boy, you don't have friends! Don't you lie to me!" And he shoved me down causing me to smash my head on the floor. I was in the worst possible position, so vulnerable to the boots that had been ramming into my side over and over again. Each punt was getting harder and harder. I felt my insides turn to mush then I heard a cracking noise. SHIT.  Instant pain shot through my rib cage and I let out a loud cry and hunched over so he couldn't kick me in the spot anymore. I felt tears stream from my face as he just kept kicking and thrashing, he yanked me up by the hair and hauled me to the living room. Uriel grabbed one of the glass vases from the coffee table and smashed it on my head not only causing it to shatter everywhere, but causing me to black out.  

Dean P.O.V.

 

Me and Bobby had just finished our second car and Sam was just running around the salvage yard playing fetch with Riot. It was only around six but the sun was well set so we decided to wrap it up. Me and Sam stayed for dinner but then we said our goodbyes once again and headed back home, the ride back was full of random trivia questions from my younger brother. As we pulled into our driveway I franticly looked for any sign of John before I let Sam out, but I didn't see anything. The rest of that night was just the usual, the only thing that was different was that I got a text from my friend Charlie (she's in my history class). 

Charlie: Hey you coming to the Halloween party next Sunday? Its at 7, bring Cas!

 

Dean: Maybe. I don't know yet.

 

Charlie: OKay, well I really hope you do! gtg. 

 

Dean: Ok, bye. 

 

I put my phone down and stared at my ceiling. I'm gonna ask Cas out tomorrow. Why was he acting weird today? Was it something I said? I'll ask tomorrow. I drifted away into sleep just replaying the past few days in my mind. Damn, I'm one lucky son of a bitch. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I woke up too see both Gabriel and Anna hovering over me. They seemed.. Worried? Why?  I tried sitting up but Anna pushed me back down and I felt a strong ping throughout my ribs, Oh. 

"Somethings wrong, I don't suggest you move around very much." Gabriel said as he sat down on the other end of the couch. 

"You cant stay here, its too risky. Is there anywhere you can go while you heal?" Anna asked but I didn't answer, I just stared at the wall blankly. "Castiel James Novak are you even listening to me?" Anna said in a more stern voice but I still didn't respond, causing her to sigh and rest her head in her hands. Ten minutes passed of just silence until I forced myself to get up, ignoring the protest from both my brother and sister as I went towards the stairs. Anna had been right behind me as I used the railing for support but I lightly pushed her away and went to my room. I quickly locked what left I had of a door and collapsed onto my bed feeling the shrieking pain that spiraled through me. I let out a slight whimper and closed my eyes ignoring my bickering siblings from outside the door. I'm just so tired of it all, I'm tired of school, family, just everything really. The only good thing in my life right now was Dean, but I knew that in my life good things don't last very long. I wished that he was right here with me, that we could just huddle together and sleep like the night before. But, instead I looked down to see the bandage wrapped around my core, soaked in blood and passed out.


	6. With Torn And Bleeding Hearts We Smile

Saturday, Oct. 23, 2016

Dean P.O.V. 

I woke up at around nine but Sam was still asleep so I didn't make much noise as I made eggs and bacon for the both of us. I was sipping on my coffee as the longhaired moose walked into the room practically still sleeping. 

"I'm going over to see Cas in a few, don't burn the house down." I said as I ruffled his hair and went to take a quick shower. I heard him mumble something as I left the room but just ignored it.

I had completely forgotten about my wounds from when John came home. The bruises were still a deep purple but I could see yellow start to form around them, that was good. I also had an open gash on my head, I carefully applied Neosporin hoping that it would heal quicker even though it was definitely going to leave a scar. When I was all finished in the bathroom I fetched my phone and text Cas letting him know I'm coming over. 

Dean: Hey, I'm coming over in a few okay?

About ten minutes passed of no response, he hadn't even read it. I just assumed he was still asleep and decided to surprise him. As I was walking down my front steps I noticed that there was only one car in his driveway, it was the same car that picked him and Gabe up from Bobby's earlier this week so I guess that was good? I only knocked twice before the door swiftly opened exposing Anna, I hadn't really paid attention to what she looked like before but now I could see that she was probably in her late twenties with red hair and she was slightly taller than me. 

"Dean!" She said in what seemed like an impatient tone. 

"Yea, what's wrong? I asked, hoping that nothing bad happened.

"Cas is hurt." And with that she pulled me inside and brought me upstairs. "Last night our Uncle went after him again.." I could hear the concern in her voice and I felt my stomach churn. Shit. My thoughts started racing and I felt my head start to spin. 

"Is he okay?!" I rushed my words not caring if they were jumbled, I just needed to know if he was alright. She just gave me a sympathetic look and pointed toward the broken door that Gabriel was sitting next too. 

"He locked himself in last night an hasn't come out since, he's not even talking." Fuck. 

"Umm, does anyone have a paper clip?" I jumbled my words again and started fidgeting with my hands to keep myself sane as I inspected the lock on Cas's door. Gabriel then got up and went down the hall entering a different room, a few seconds later he walked back down the hallway and handed me a paper clip. Two tries and I got it, I then pushed the door open softly and felt myself become nauseous as I saw the passed out blue eyed boy sleeping in a pool of his own blood. I completely froze. I just stood there. Anna ran past me and sat next to him trying to stop the bleeding while Gabriel franticly searched for towels. I didn't know what to do. WHAT DO I DO?!? I was ripped out of this state as Gabriel slapped me in the face yelling at me to snap out of it.

"DEAN!! COME 'ON WAKE UP." I gave him a sorta confused look as I regained consciousness. Anna was calling me over to help, I half staggered half ran to Anna's side awaiting instructions. Everything was chaotic, Anna was stumbling around to find bandages and Gabriel had been sobbing exceptionally loud considering Cas was on the verge of bleeding out. After about a half hour things had clamed down a bit, Anna had washed the sheets and replaced them with my help, I had called Sam over to help calm Gabriel down and I was officially pulled out of shock with Sam's help as well. I was now lying next to Cas on his bed with my arm carefully draped over his stomach and my head resting in the crook of his neck. He was still unconscious. I was on the verge of dozing off when Anna came in and sat down in the chair next to the bed, I could see the unease in her face as she watched her younger brother.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yea?" I responded as I carefully shifted to face Anna. 

"I know this is a little much to ask, but he's not safe here. I would take him to my place but my landlord is strict and doesn't want anymore people. Do you think he could stay with you until he heals?" 

"Of course! I would do anything to help him." It was true, I actually would do anything to make sure he was okay. There was a moment of silence until she spoke up again.

"I'm just glad that he has someone other than myself and Gabriel who's there for him.. He needs it." Then it was quiet.

 

Castiel P.O.V.

I had just woken up, I didn't move so I could listen to their conversation. 

"He needs it." I don't deserve It though. I don't deserve anyone's help. A few minutes later I heard Anna leave and decided now was the time to get up. Dean's arm had been resting over my side wrapping around me so I carefully moved it, hoping not to gather much attention. Once Dean saw that I was awake he basically shot up, knocking a few pillows off the mattress. 

 

"Morning sunshine." He said as he brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, still looking like he'd seen a ghost. I didn't respond, I just gave him a half hearted smile and panicked. I need to get out of here. I tried to get up, but I just stumbled back down. Fuck. I tried again and this time Dean got up and wrapped his arm around my waist for support. 

"Thanks." I muttered as I gradually made my way to the hallway with Dean's help. We were soon in front of the bathroom door when I separated from Dean and locked the door.

"D-Do you need any help?" Normally I would've smiled at his sudden shyness but right now I definitely wasn't myself. 

"Just go home." I regretted saying this as I leaned on the back of the closed door and slid to the floor resting my head on the frame. I felt warm tears start running down my face and onto the hem of my now blood stained navy blue shirt. It was all my fault. I don't deserve there help. I don't deserve Dean. I don't deserve anything. I reached up to the drawer beside the sink and pulled it out, behind it was the razor blade that I had stashed there awhile back. I twirled it between my fingers debating if it was worth it. 

"Cas?! Cas are you alright?" Dean pestered and my vision just went even more blurry from my watering eyes.

"Just go home, Dean!" I shouted once more in-between sobs. My thoughts began to rush faster and faster. Its all my fault my father died! He was on his way to pick me up! I took him away from the rest of our family. I deserve to be punished. My sobs were now getting louder than I wanted and Dean was struggling with the door. 

"Cas! Let me in! Please? I'm not going anywhere!" I squinted my eyes so I could see the blade better, I just stared at it for a long minute before I enclosed it in my hand squeezing it until the red warmth dribbled through. After a few more minutes of compressing the blade I heard Dean lean on the door on the other side. 

 

Dean P.O.V.

 

It felt as if my heart had been sinking deeper and deeper as I listened to the muffed cry's of Castiel on the other side of the door. All I wanted to do was help him, to make sure that he was alright but he kept pushing me away. 

"Cas.. Come 'on, don't do this. Whatever this is we can go through it together! You don't have to be alone, I'm here." I said trying hold back my own emotions as I listened to his cry's become softer and more faint. 

"I-Its all my fault!" I heard him bawl along with the sound of something being dropped. "My father is d-dead b-because of me!" 

"Is that what this is about? Cas, Its not your fault! How could it possibly be your fault? You didn't know it was going to happen, nobody knew! Stop blaming yourself for something you didn't do." About another five minutes of faint sobs and muffled words went by, "Will you let me in?" I asked hoping he would quit trying to be alone in moments like this. A few seconds later I heard the lock shift and I opened the door softly, the first thing I saw was Cas curled up in the corner clutching onto his hand, then I saw the bloody blade.. "Oh Cas," My voice cracked as I walked over to him and took the hand that was still seeping in blood, I ripped a long strip of my shirt off and wrapped it around his hand tightly. I then sat down next to him pulling him closer so his head was now leaning on my chest as he began sobbing again. We stayed like that for a good hour or two, Cas was asleep when Anna quietly knocked on the door signaling that it was time to go, she had also packed a bag full of Cas's things. I carefully got up- not wanting to wake the sleeping angel and picked him up in my arms, carrying him outside and towards my house. As I reached my doorstep I noticed that a different car had just pulled into their driveway and I watched as an older man stumbled into there house. I'm guessing that's Uriel. I wanted so badly to just stomp over there and kick his ass but instead I walked up the stairs and toward my room placing the still sleeping Cas on my bed and pulled the blanket over him. I then placed his backpack on the chair by my desk and went to go check on Sam. I opened Sam's bedroom door to find both him and Gabriel huddling around Gabriel's phone looking at something. 

"What you guys looking at?" I asked purely out of curiosity as they both gave each other a cocksure grin and showed me the screen. On it was a picture of my car.. Wait no it was a drawing? "Is that a drawing? Or a picture?" 

"That my friend, Is a drawing by my dear brother Cassy." Gabriel said with sass that made my brother start laughing hysterically. Damn, I knew Cas was good at art but I would've easily mistaken this for a photo. 

"Speakin of Cassy, he's gonna be staying here for awhile until he heals." And then the two younger boys grins grew even wider. "Yea yea whatever." I said as I left the room and closed the door. When I walked into the living room I noticed how messy our house was, Damnit I need to clean this up. I then went to the closet in the hallway to retrieve the broom and dust pan, as I was cleaning up the floors I also unpacked a few random boxes that were lying about. When I was all done I went to the kitchen and started making a list of things we need to get at the store. A few minutes later I was sitting down at the table making the list when I heard shuffling from the other side of the room, I looked up to see both Sam and Gabe on each side of Cas helping him walk. I quickly got up from my seat to help but Sam just shooed me away as he sat Cas down in one of the kitchen chairs. 

"Me and Gabe are going to the park, okay?" Sam said as he and Gabe were already heading towards the door. 

"Alright." I said as I sat down in front of the smiling sex haired boy. "AND STAY OUT OF THE ROAD!" I shouted at them just before the door slammed shut. I looked over at the now laughing Castiel and I felt butterfly's in my stomach again, I just sat there and gazed at this blue eyed boy in awe. Once he caught onto my awestruck I watched as his face flushed red and he dropped his head. "Aw come 'on, that's not fair!" I said with a cackle as I lifted his head.

"What?!" He half shouted in question. 

"Your not allowed to be that adorable!" I said as he made a fake pouty face and we both burst out in laughter. After a few minutes we both seemed to calm down and now we had just been staring at each other with shy smiles and unknown feelings. "So uhh, I don't know if your up to it but my friend Charlie invited us to a Halloween party next Sunday."

"Sounds fun." And I watched as his eyes lit up just the slightest bit. 

"Really? I never took you for a party person." 

"Well, I'm not. I've just never been and it sounds fun." 

"Alright, I'll go tell her then." And with that I quickly went up to my room to retrieve my phone and hurried back downstairs. 

Dean: Hey, just letting you know that me and Cas WILL be going.

A few minutes passed before she responded.

Charlie: Cool! Do you mind if we carpool? I can get a ride to your place but other than that I have no transportation. 

Dean: Sure! What time?

Charlie: Well the party starts at 7 but I wanna get to your place before then so I can help my favorite OTP with there outfits!

 

Dean: Oh lord. 

Charlie: Lol so I will be there at 6:50-ish k?

Dean: Ok.

Charlie: Ok! See ya!

 

And I put my phone back in my pocket as I shuffled through our cupboards looking for something to make Cas, I don't think he's eaten since yesterday. 

"Tuna ok?" I asked as I noticed he was staring off into space with a blank expression on his face, he then looked up and his features changed within seconds. 

"Yea." And I went to fetch the can opener as I stared conversation. 

"Gabriel showed me the drawing you made."

"Which one?"

"The one of the impala, at first I mistaked it as a photo it was that good."

Castiel P.O.V.

 

I felt my face burn red after he said this, Oh god this is embarrassing. 

"I don't think it was that good." I said as I stretched the sleeve of my sweater over my hand and covered my mouth, a habit I had developed. 

"Excuse you, don't you dare question the obvious." Dean said with a light chuckle as he placed two sandwiches on the table then sat across from me. We just spent the next fifteen minutes eating lunch and having small talk until there was silence. It lasted for a good minute before he brought up something I wish he could just forget. "Where'd you get the blade?" My stomach dropped. 

"I uhh.. Does it matter?" I looked down at my fidgeting hands trying to avoid eye contact, he then lifted his hand and brushed it against my face to get me to look up. 

"Yea it matters.. It matters to me, I cant watch you hurt yourself like that." His soft green eyes seemed comforting. "Cas.. How long?" His voice was quite and broken. 

"A umm.. Its b-been a couple years" My voice was so quiet it could qualify as a whisper. Deans face looked as if he shattered, I don't understand why though. I don't understand why anyone would care about me. 

"Can you promise me that you wont do it again? Please.." 

"I-I don't know.." My voice cracked. 

Dean P.O.V.

I felt my insides falling deeper and deeper at the thought of Cas purposefully hurting himself.. 

"I-I don't know.." And I fell deeper. I got up from my seat and sat down next to him, I pulled him into an embrace as I leaned my chin on his head. "I'm s-sorry Dean.." He managed to mumble amidst the muffled sobs. 

"Don't worry, its going to be okay. I'm going to help you, I'm going to take care of you.. Alright?" I was now trying to keep myself together. I gripped onto Cas tighter as if he'd fly away.. 

"W-why? I don't deserve it.." His words were stifled. What does he mean he doesn't deserve it?! He deserves so much more than this, why cant he see that?.

"Castiel Novak you deserve so much better," I was now using my stern voice. Cas noticed my change in attitude and dropped his head with a shy smile across his face. 

"James.. My middle name is James." 

"Alright, well, Castiel James Novak, you deserve the world, you deserve a galaxy of stars, you deserve the sun.. But most of all, you deserve to be helped, loved, taken care of. So don't you ever say otherwise. There are people out there who care about you." After I said this I scooped him up and carried him upstairs. I laid him down on my bed and scurried to the other side as he gave me cheeky laugh, I felt my heart warm up at his smile. 

 

We stayed there, right there in each others arms for hours, nobody needing to speak, no pushing each other away. I'm going to do anything and everything I can to help this denim blue eyed boy that I have fallen for and nobody will ever change that.

Castiel P.O.V. [Later that day]

When I woke up I kinda forgot what planet I was on, I jumped up when I realized where I was. I thought I was alone so when I heard chuckling from across the room my heart skipped a beat. Dean was sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed facing the window with a sketch pad. Outside the window I saw that the sky was a bright pink/orange. 

"Whatch'a drawing?" I asked as I pulled the covers closer to my face, burying myself. 

"Uhh.. I think my attempt could classify as a sunset." He said with a light chuckle as he put the drawing down and walked over to the other side of the bed ripping the covers off dramatically "Come 'on sleeping beauty, we need to go to the store." I let out a loud groan and muffled my face in the pillow. I heard Dean laugh at my subtle movements and smiled wildly at his response. I lazily rolled off the bed and hung my head as Dean walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me resting his chin on my head. "Hmm on second thought.." He began as he pulled away with a mischievous look in his eyes. 

"Deean." I said annoyingly with a sarcastic but playful look. 

"Okay okay. Here, I'll be downstairs." He said as he handed me a change of cloths and left the room. I quickly changed but before I headed downstairs I walked over to where the sketch pad rested on the side table. Damn.. I could see a very clear image of some clouds that overlooked the city, there was no color but the shading was so perfect that it didn't need any. I caught myself staring and started my route downstairs. I noticed that the pants I was wearing were mine but the shirt was deans, It was a deep green and baggy at the end. 

"Where's Sam?" I asked as I walked into the living room where Dean was sitting on the couch fiddling with the remote. 

"Oh uh, he and Gabe are up in their room playing on Xbox." He said as he got up and wandered over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. "Ready to go?" I just gave a single nob and a cheeky smile before we both headed out the door. About twenty minutes later we arrived at the Walmart intown, it was now dark out and there weren't many cars in the parking lot. Seeing that there weren't many people here gave me quite a bit of relief, I guess you could say I'm not really a people person. "Last one to isle three is a sore loser!" Dean shouted as he ran ahead laughing, that laugh gave me butterfly's. 

"Oh no you don't!" I shouted back as I sprinted after him. The cashier's gave us odd looks but left us alone for the most part. When Dean beat me to the isle I gave him a fake pouty face and we both started laughing hysterically, I felt a sharp pain in my side but didnt say anything because I dont want to ruin this moment. "First one to not touch their nose wins." 

Dean P.O.V.

"First one to not touch their nose wins." Cas said with a delirious grin and I quickly rose my hand but stopped myself once I realized he wasn't doing the same..

"Heyy, wait a minute!" I said in a suspicious voice but then we both fell into a deranged laughter once more. I'm just really happy to see Cas smiling again, considering our conversation from earlier. The next ten minutes we spent looking for laundry detergent while playing I-Spy. 

"Dean.." 

"Yea?"

"My nose itches.." I turned to look at him to see him wrinkling up his nose and struggling to itch it without his hands. I let out a chuckle as I lifted his head in my hands and kissed him smushing our noses together roughly. 

"Better?" 

"Much." And with that damn adorable smile of his I melted away.. We both just locked into a gaze until he pulled me down to his height and kissed me again but this time longer and more erotic.. About a couple minutes later we both pulled away to catch our breaths, ignoring the stares that were being sent our way from random shoppers. 

"Damn." I had no better words to describe how much I have fallen for this boy in just the small amount of time I've known him.. I don't think I've ever felt like this with any other person in my life.. This feeling kinda scared me to say the least. 

 

Castel P.O.V.

Holy..Shit.. Sometimes I just have these moments where something just kinda sinks in and I get these rush of emotions at once, well right now the past few days just kinda sank in and slapped me in the face. I'm with Dean Winchester.. With with Dean fucking Winchester.. I'm in love with DEAN WINCHESTER my thoughts started rushing and my head started to spin a little, I'm freeking petrified right now! What if I accidentally do something to mess this up? What if he decides he doesn't like me anymore? What if- SHUT UP God I think to much. We were now just getting the rest of the remaining items on the list, hand in hand.. What if my hand starts sweating?! He would think I was gross!

"Hey, are you okay?" Fuck. His voice sounded more concerned then grossed so hopefully that was good..

"Huh?" Damnit that was a stupid response..

"You just turned really pale.." He said as he touched my forehead with the back of his hand. 

"Yea! Yea I'm fine!" My words were rushed.

Dean P.O.V.

"Really?" I didn't believe him, I know that look, the look of overactive thoughts.. 

"Definitely." Cas replied with a forced smile, I don't know what was going on in his head right now but it didn't seem very good. I just gave him an empathetic smile and took my phone and earbuds out of my pocket.

"Here." I said as I handed them to him. "Music really helps me escape my head." 

Castiel P.O.V.

I was shocked but relived that Dean knew what I wasn't saying, I gave him a silent thank you then placed the earbuds in my ears and pressed play, 'Staying Up' By The Neighbourhood started playing and I smiled to myself knowing all the lyrics perfectly. 

 

"I didnt know you were a Neighbourhood fan." I said as we neared the check out. The pain in my side growing with every step.

"After earlier this week when you sang along to one of their songs I looked the artist up and listened to a few more, its really grown on me." My face reddened at the thought of the memory, I wasn't usually that open with people.. Nevermind singing. We were now at the check out so I started unloading items from the cart and onto the conveyer belt. When we were all finished and out the door the cold October breeze wacked me in the face and made my teeth shiver. It was when the car was finally in sight that I felt something warm trickle down my side, I thought something had spilled so when I stopped to inspect where it had come from my heart skipped a beat when I saw my shirt soaked in blood. I almost dropped the bags as I felt dizzy. "Cas?" Dean asked before he turned to look at me. My head started to spin faster and faster and I could hear the faint sound of that shrieking noise from earlier this week. "Oh my god, Cas?!" Dean shouted as he dropped his bags and ran over to me, I was about to collapse but he steadied me by wrapping an arm around my waist. "I'm taking you to the ER." He said in a panicked tone. 

"No, dea-" I was interrupted by the blood that was spewing from my mouth and I tasted the strong copper-like ooze. 

 

"This is not a discussion! You'll bleed out.." Still panicked. He was now placing me in the passenger seat as I held my hand up to my wound in attempt to stop the bleeding. About a minute later I heard the trunk slam shut and drivers side door swing open. 

"Dean-they'll call.." More coughing.. More blood.. "They'll call Uriel." And I rested my head on the cold window, my vision was getting blurry but I could still see the overbearing city lights everywhere. 

"Not if I lie." And with that he sped out of the store parking lot and off to the ER. I tried to stay conscious as best I could but the familiar black dots were fighting to overpower me. I hadn't even noticed that I still had an earbud in, that music was still playing.

How can I sleep if I don't have dreams?  
I just have nightmares  
How can it be?  
I still believe something is out there

Some part of me feels a little bit naked and empty  
I'm stuck underneath a few dirty old blankets to comfort me

Dean was driving so fast that we pulled into the hospitals parking lot within minutes. Dean got out from his side and ran to mine, people started running towards us.

And there's a light, and I can see why I'm still alive  
Mommy won't lie, 'cause if she did, I would've died  
All the time I sit and try, you think I'd be down  
Every night, I'm sick and why, oh, I'm staying up this time

And everything went black.


	7. Forty-Nine Shades of Blue and Green

Saturday, Oct. 23, 2016

Dean P.O.V.

 

I saw people start running towards us then I felt Cas collapse beside me, I scooped him up in my arms and ran faster for the entrance.

"What happened?" One of the nurses shouted over to me as I entered the pale blue waiting room with the bleeding boy in my arms. 

"I-I dont know." I rushed my words as I followed the nurse into an empty room. 

"Set him down there." She said as she pointed to one of the empty beds in the room. About two minutes passed until doctors came running in with a tray of random shit I had no idea what was called. The nurses seemed overly worried.. Fuck. 

"Sir your going to have to wait in the waiting room." An older nurse said as she started pushing me out of the room. My mind went blank for a moment and I didn't know what to do so I started pushing her away. 

"What?! No, I'm not leaving him." I shouted as I pushed my way back into the room where people were hovering over him trying to stop the bleeding. Nurses and doctors were scurrying everywhere shouting things to each other. Something wasn't right. "What's going on?!" I shouted again, I felt my heart rate rise and now I was getting anxious. 

"Sir you have to leave!" One of the doctors shouted at me as a few more staff tried getting me out of the room. I struggled as best I could without starting a fight, Which I so badly wanted to.. But I couldn't get the authority's involved because that would make lying even harder. 

"Will someone please just tell me what the hell is going on!?" I was now shouting at the top of my lungs. I didn't care that I was in a hospital, I just needed to know if Cas was alright. 

"He's rapidly bleeding out, we're trying to stop it. In the meantime you need to wait in the waiting room and let us do our thing." The same nurse from before calmly explained to me as she, and a few others tried once more to get me to leave the room.  This time I didn't fight, but I wasn't going to the waiting room either. Once I left the room full of shouting doctors and nurses I just leaned against the wall beside the door and fell down so I was sitting against the hard drywall. Fuck, this was all my fault. If I had just went alone non of this would've happened..   

A half-hour passed until the room settled down and one of the staff came out to talk to me. 

"He's stable. We've stopped the bleeding and stitched his wounds, so if you'd like to come in now-" I didn't even hesitate to get up and dash into the room to see Cas lying on a bed surrounded by red soaked gauze pads, he was extremely pale. I hated seeing him like this, he doesn't deserve this. I felt a deep pit form in my stomach as I slowly sat down in the chair next to the bed. It was quiet for a few moments until the nurse spoke up again, I wish she hadn't. "Does he have a parent or guardian we could contact?" 

"Uhh yea, Robert Singer. Here." I didn't even hesitate as I gave the woman Bobby's number. 

"Thank you." She said just before she left the room leaving me and the still unconscious Castiel alone. I took his hand and rested my head on the edge of the bed, I felt so guilty for all of this. 

"Cas, I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything.." My words were muffled by the sheets. 

"Why are you apologizing?" My head shot up in shock. I thought he was still unconscious. Cas looked over at me with his head tilted in confusion, I just gave him a sympathetic look. "Dean?" He asked again.  

"I'm sorry for making you leave the house, for making this happen." My voice was full of grieve. He looked confused for a minute then he gave me a sarcastic face. 

"It was out of your control. Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault, its not healthy." He finished that last part with a faint laugh that made my insides warm, I just joined him because even though I still felt bad, I don't want this to be awkward. About fifteen minutes passed of just random conversation and sly jokes when Bobby entered the room with a perturbed look. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I had been so scared that Uriel was going to show up it was hard to think clearly. Dean felt bad for getting me to leave the house and he thinks this is his fault when its really mine, I'm the one who didn't tell him I was in pain before this happened. I thought I was going to have a panic attack, being lightheaded from bloodloss doesn't help. I was about to ask Dean if he had told them my legal guardians information but I didn't get the chance because Bobby had just walked in with a solicitous look. I completely relaxed knowing that Dean lied and that Uriel doesn't know where I am.  

"So I'm gone for just a couple days and someone's already in the hospital?" I could tell this was intended to be a joke but he still showed signs of concern. 

"Yea, uhh sorry Bobby." Dean said in a conscience-stricken but banter tone. Bobby just gave him a funny face and sat down in the empty chair on the opposite side of the bed facing both me and Dean. 

"So I talked to the doctor, she said that Cas has a broken rib and he's going to have to stay the night just so they can make sure everything's okay." I felt myself tense up, I cant stay the night here.. Not again. Not after the last time. 

Flashback 

 

Anna and Gabriel just left to go back home, so I was all alone in this stupid hospital room on this stupid hospital bed that just made me nauseous. This time was different,  Anna couldn't just 'fix me' this time. It wasn't Uriel or Lucifer, not even Crowley.. It was me. I looked down at my bandaged covered arm and just thought about what I had done, about HOW I was done. I just attempted suicide, and I didn't even feel anything. I was picking at my bandages thinking about how I could just try again.. I mean, nobody's here so who would stop me? I could up the morpheme, find some pills, find something sharp, hold my breath.. I could do anything. I had a history with this, thinking of ways I could go. It always made me feel safer or more in control if I knew that there was a way out somewhere near me. I never told anyone though, and I could never see myself telling anyone. I was lost in my mind somewhere while I was staring at the morpheme box thing, my eyes quickly shot up when the door slammed open. Uriel. 

"Boy how dare you make me drive all this way for this." He was clearly drunk. Normally I would be terrified right now, but all I could do was laugh. 

"Go ahead, kill me. If you don't I'll just try again anyway." My voice got fainter as it drew on and we locked into an unsettling glare. His only response was a loud chuckle and moving backward to lock the door. Once the door was locked he slowly made his way over to me and picked up the metal tray that rested on the side table. I closed my eyes and leaned my back on the wall as he slammed the tray into my lower chest. I couldn't feel anything as he grabbed onto my bandaged arm and started squeezing. Blood started to flow, lots. My arm was completely soaked and the same red ooze was dripping from my mouth as he kept hitting and bashing things into my head, wrist, chest, everywhere. Nobody heard, it was peak hour for visitors so other sounds blocked out the noise and my room was at the end of the hall. Uriel didn't kill me though, almost, but not quite. So when he just looked at me with pure hate in his eyes I asked. "Why? Why not kill me now?" 

"Because having you do it yourself would be so much better." And he was out the door. So there I was, lying there just like before. I saw my vision become blurry so it was hard to see the nurse that dropped the glass in her hand causing it to shatter everywhere as she entered the room minutes later. She then went off screaming for a doctor and I blacked out. 

For the next three weeks I spent in a mental institution, Anna's idea. I wasn't mad, or sad.. I wasn't anything. Once I got discharged I just went about my everyday life as if nothing happened, keeping my feelings to myself and mostly ignoring them. But the scars on my arm never healed, not completely.  

End of Flashback 

"Cas? Cas, you alright?" Dean asked as I regained consciousness of the world. I looked up to see both Dean and Bobby looking at me with concern filling there faces. 

"Uhh, I don't t-think I can stay here Dean.." My stuttering made my anxiety clear as day. He and Bobby just shared glances before Bobby spoke up. 

"I will go talk to the nurse and see what I can do." He said as he got up and left. Dean hadn't taken his eyes off me when he asked again, 

"Seriously Cas, are you okay?" His voice full of disquiet. It was just silent for a moment before I answered. 

"No, not really." And it felt like a million suns just lifted off my shoulders, it felt good to finally admit that. 

"Do.. Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asked in a warm and comforting voice, but then there was just a silence that washed over us for about a minute or two. 

"Not really." I responded as I lifted my head to watch as Dean just nodded his in an understanding way. It was quiet for another minute until Bobby came back in, closing the door behind him. 

"She said that you have to stay, but you can have someone stay with you for the night as long as you don't leave the room." Right after he said this Dean and I shared longing glances and Bobby just rolled his eyes. "Alright alright, I'm gonna go back to your place to keep an eye on Sam. And no funny business you two!" Dean and I started chuckling as Bobby muttered something about calling us Idjits and left the room. Once the room was clear Dean looked back at me with a sly smile.

"So, how you doin." He said in a heavy accent, trying to lighten the mood and it made me burst out laughing. I ignored the pain that shot throughout my side. 

Dean P.O.V.

Seeing Cas laugh like that made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Earlier when Bobby said he would have to stay the night, Cas's expression was.. Well I don't have words. I just wish he'd talk to me, something was clearly wrong and I just wish he'd stop isolating himself. About two hours went by of just watching crappy hospital TV and munching on the cafeteria food one of the nurses brought us. I was now laying on the bed next to him so both our hips touched each other and the edge. One of the staff poked their head through the slightly open door and whispered something, 

"Alright guys, its getting late so if you could turn out the lights and the volume on the TV down?" Cas and I just nodded our heads so they would leave, I then got up to switch the lights but he grabbed onto my sleeve as I sat up and let out a low groan. 

"Mmm don't leave." I could tell he was exhausted because his words were slushed.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." I whispered as I stood up and walked across the room to turn the lights and volume. When I laid back down next to Cas I wrapped my arms around him and held him closer. 

"Dean?" He asked tiredly.

"Yea?" I responded as I moved my head backward and down so I could see him clearly. 

"The reason I didn't want to stay here was be-" I cut him off. 

"Shh, you don't need to tell me. Its okay." It was then quiet for a moment. 

"I want to though." Quiet.

"Okay."

"It was because I cut myself, A-Anna brought me here. She left me here with that douchebag Uriel.. He got to me, I let him get to me... I spent three weeks in that place, I didn't like it. This just reminds me of that." His words were spaced out and stagnant. 

"Spent three weeks where?" My thoughts were rushing, so was my heart beat. Hearing all this pained me to even think that Cas had to go through that.

"Mmm St. Callie's hospital." My stomach dropped. That was the mental institution on the Charlotte boarder. I was in complete shock, I had no response for a good minute or two. 

"Cas, how long ago was this?" 

"Four months." Everything stopped. It seemed as if there was no noise at all. As if time itself had taken a halt. I could see Cas's face slowly become puffier and redder. 

"I-I'm sorry." I managed to get out as I pulled him closer so now he definitely wouldn't fly away. 

"Its not your fault Dean, It was my doing that got me there in the first place." Cas managed to get out in between muffled sobs. 

"What do you mean?" I asked unsure. When Cas didn't answer I pulled away a little so I could get a better look at him. He was staring blankly across the room, no signs of life in his eyes. 

"I attempted suicide," There's that stabbing sensation again. Pins in my stomach as I heard his cry's become louder. "A-and It wasn't.. It wasn't the f-first time." Swords now. 

"Just.. Don't.. Don't do it again. Okay?" My voice was wobbly. I didn't know what to do with myself, I have never felt so many strong feelings towards another person and honestly I don't know what to do. 

"Dean.. I don't want to die.. I just don't want to be here anymore." His head was fixed on my chest and my head rested on top of his. I was shushing him, calming him down. Trying my hardest to keep myself together. Eventually the crying faded away as Cas fell asleep and I let myself go. It was about midnight when I too fell asleep, It was Saturday night so I didn't need to worry about school. 

Castiel P.O.V. [The next morning]

When I woke up I found myself lying closely next to Dean, seeing there wasn't much room on the bed. I don't mind it though, in fact.. I never wanted to have to get up. Lying here, next to this forest green eyed boy couldn't be more perfect.. Well other then the fact that I still have a broken rib. Sunlight was seeping through the curtains and making the pale blue room brighter, the window was closed but I could still hear the faint sound of birds chanting. I sat up straighter, trying not to wake Dean to get a better look out the window, there was a very clear view of the city waking up. The sun was well risen-it was about ten in the morning. I just sat there looking out the window for almost a half-hour until I heard shuffling in the halls and people talking. The rest of the hospital was now waking up. A few minutes later one of the staff quietly came in and set a try of food on the side table, as they were leaving he accidentally tripped causing a noise that woke Dean up. He quickly jerked up in surprise, a baffled look plastered across his features. 

"Mornin' sunshine." I said in quote to him as I let out a slight laugh, the nurse kept apologizing as he left the room. I couldn't help but notice Dean's morning hedgehog hair. Once he regained full consciousness of his whereabouts he then looked over to me and pulled me closer so he could kiss my forehead. 

"Morning huggy bear." Dean said sluggishly as he too sat up straighter. I didn't even question his name calling because I was too distracted by how adorable he is in the morning. We then both started nibbling on the stale-like muffins they brought us. About three hours went by until they said I was fine and discharged me, even though I was completely capable of walking in my own, Dean insisted he steered me on a wheelchair. Instead of being the 'mature high school juniors' that we are suppose to be, we were childish five year olds as he raced the wheelchair allover the parking lot causing us both to tire of laughter. As we gradually calmed ourselves and got to the car he quickly ran back to return the chair then back to the car. "Lets go home shall we?" Dean said as he started the engine. I felt slight pings in my ribcage but I knew if I just took it easy there wouldn't be an issue so I ignored it. We spent the rest of the day chilling in the living room along with Sam and Gabriel. At around ten Gabriel went back home and the rest of us went to bed, Dean and I of course shared a bed and Sam kept making not so subtle gestures as he passed in the hallway. 

The next morning Dean dropped me off at Bobby's while he and Sam went to school. The doctor said that I should stay home for a few days just to make sure my stiches didn't reopen. I spent that whole day binge watching random movies on Netflix until Dean came to pick me up. That same night John came back, only for a few minutes though. Nothing happened, he just walked in and grabbed something from the cupboard and walked out, he didn't see me because I was in the bathroom the whole time. For the next two days a similar pattern formed, wake up, go to Bobby's come back home. It wasn't until Wednesday when I started getting bored and decided it was time to go back to school. It was eleven in the morning and Bobby wasn't home so I walked.  
When the school came into view I started thinking of excuses why I'm late.. I forgot my doctors note at home. 

 

"Good morning Castiel." The secretary said as I approached the front desk. I just gave her a small smile before she continued. "May I ask why your late?" 

"I uhh, I forgot my doctors note at home.." 

"Alright, well try and remember next time." She said as she handed me a late slip and I headed to Science. The halls were empty because class had already started and I began debating if I should just hide in the bathroom so I don't have to walk in late. I wasn't paying much attention so when I turned the corner my heart jumped when I accidentally bumped into someone, causing me to drop my books. 

"Cas!?" Dean said out of shock. "What are you doing here?" 

"I got bored." I replied as I went to pick up my books but he stopped me.

"Don't, you'll reopen your stiches." He scooped them up and held onto them. "You should be home, resting." 

"Dean I'm fine, plus I've already missed a lot of school." He just gave me a sarcastic look.

"Alright, least I can do is walk you to class." He said as he freed one of his hands from the books and held mine. We then started walking towards the science lab while having small talk. 

"Hey Dean, why are you even out in the hall during class?" I asked out of curiosity. 

"Do you remember when I told you I wanted to try out for the baseball team?"

"Yea?"

"Well I just talked to the coach, he accepted me! I'm now officially on the team!" Dean sounded so excited and that made me undoubtfully happy.

"That's awesome! When's the first practice?" 

"Well the whole team is meeting at Cherry park Sunday afternoon to get our jerseys and stuff but our first actual practice is on Monday."

"I bet your going to become the next Cy Young." I remarked and we both started cackling. Seeing Dean smile turned my entire world upside down, this right here was the feeling I loved, the feeling I longed for. 

"Speaking of Sunday, you still up for going to that Halloween party?" We had just approached the science lab, both Dean and I stood on each side of the door so we could still talk without the teacher seeing. "I also believe its a costume party." Dean's voice was animated, showing his interest. 

"Yea! I'm really excited!" 

Dean P.O.V.

I was just staring at Cas who had his arms folded in front of him, his eyes trained on the ground, head tilted to the side and a sly smile on his face. He looked happy, and that made me euphoric. Honestly the party actually sounded fun, I was also excited for it. 

"Hmm, well there's only like what? Ten minutes of class left? Do you really need to go?" I said in a very mischievous tone as pulled him over to my side of the door, and I watched as Cas lifted his head up and looked me in the eye with a playful expression dancing around his features. He then took my hand and quickly lugged me into the nearest bathroom. 

Cas gently yet forcefully shoved me into the closed bathroom door, the both of us vigorously kissing each other with infatuation. My hands curiously walking up his stomach as he jumped at the touch, I felt myself smile around his lips as he started moving his hands along my waistline. Soon both Cas's hands found there way to my head and he was holding each side lightly tugging on my hair as I bit his lower lip. I felt butterflies beat their wings on the walls of my stomach. I very subtly leaned forward a little and caught Cas of guard, I quickly whirled around so now Cas was the one against the door. 

"Haha." Cas said sarcastically as he grew the widest grin. I just placed my hands on each side of his jawline and embraced him again, this time more erotic as I moved my hands from the back of his neck to his lower back. Cas was fumbling with the buttons of my flannel while impatiently kissing my neck up to my jaw. By now both our shirts were scattered lifelessly on the floor, the two of us panting for air in-between the touch of each others mouths. My thumbs stuck in the loops of his belt, his wound in my hair. During this, the both of us were obviously weary of each others bruises and avoided certain spots-but just more carful in others. I was sucking at a soft spot on his neck, not really paying much attention so when I pulled away and a small bruise started to form a slight smile played around my face. 

"Opps, sorry." I said as Cas slowly pulled away while planting a kiss on my nose.

"Me too." And I looked down to see hickeys on both my collarbone and neck. We both started chuckling as we realized what we were actually doing. Once the bell rang, signaling that class was over I loud out a groan. 

"Mmm, I don't wanna go." I stretched my words out like a child as I tilted Cas's face back up and kissed him one, two, three more times before he spoke up. 

"Later, Dean." He said with a one sided smirk that made me go crazy. We then gathered our shirts and tried to make ourselves presentable again before heading out to our lunch spot. As we were walking in the halls, multiple people were giving us odd looks.  "Dean.. People are staring.. Why are they staring?" He sounded panicked and I tried to look for a reason until I looked down.. I quickly took one of the books from my stack and handed it to Cas gesturing him to cover his crotch area, I did the same. "..Oh." Was all he said and I watched as his face began to burn just as red as mine. 

The rest of that day was normal, once school let out both Cas and I drove back home to find Sam and Gabriel playing monopoly at the kitchen table, bickering like a married couple. We set camp in the living room and watched TV until it was dark out. Gabriel went home early, something about needing space.. I take it Sam won. Cas and I made burgers for the three of us and Sam buried the table with his homework. After we all ate, Sam continued his homework and Cas and I went back upstairs for the night. 

Cas was lying on his side of the bed with his nose stuck in a book, the faint sound of music playing from my phone. I was sitting at my desk doodling on a notepad. I looked up from my paper and goggled Cas as he shifted in the bed so he was lying on his back. 

"Do you wanna hear a joke?" I asked with an impish look. Cas folded his book and set it on the side table with a sly smile. "People often wonder how I sneak snacks into the cinema.." I remarked as I crawled onto the bed and over to Cas so I was now hovering over him, still being weary of his injury. 

"Mmm." He said as he looked up at me with a devious expression. 

"I guess I just have a few Twix up my sleeve." I leaned down and pecked at his lips slowly. 

"I bet you do." His voice was low yet soft and it made the butterflies in my stomach riot. Everything started out slow, but then the both of us were imperiously fighting for dominance as our tongues tangled and hands roamed each other. I resignedly slowed down as I remembered his broken rib, he emulated my movements. We both pulled away, breathlessly panting for air with wide smiles on both our faces. 

"I love you so fucking much, I hope you know that." And I watched as his face lit up even more, I couldn't help myself so I nefariously started kissing him from his mouth to his neck, he tilted his head back to allow more access. 

"I hope you know I love you more." He exclaimed as he scooted back to sit up a little more and placed both his hands on each side of my face pulling me towards him kissing me until the need for air was necessary. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I felt myself grin as I realized what was actually happening. Dean's right hand was planted next to my head to steady him as his right brushed against my side. I felt the butterflies in my stomach become violent as Dean's left hand started moving down. 

"Is that a challenge I see?" Dean said in a cunning voice as he leaned down once more and forcefully embraced our mouths together again. His left hand moving back up my side and down my arm clasping my bandaged hand in his. 

"AWE COME ON GUYS REALLY!?" Both Dean and I shot up in shock at the sudden shout. Sam was standing in the hallway covering his eyes dramatically. "COULD YOU AT LEAST CLOSE THE DOOR NEXT TIME?!" 

"Yea, sorry Sammy." Dean said in-between the uncontrollable laughs that were coming from us both. Sam then made a grossed noise, still covering his eyes as he closed the door and ran back to his room. Once Dean and I calmed ourselves we continued with our previous actions. We were now in a more sitting position, Dean still on top of me as both his hands roamed up my shirt and pulled it off throwing it to the ground. My hands were once again fumbling with the buttons on his flannel, the both of us viciously fighting for dominance. Things were heating up as most of our clothing was stripped away, except our boxers. We were still moving quite slowly because one, We had to be careful around each others wounds. And two, neither of us wanted to rush this. Everything was perfect. I never want to have to leave this moment. But sometimes we don't get what we want. Dean and I both froze in shock when John slammed the door open furiously.


	8. The Fundamental Art of Giving a Damn

Wednesday Oct. 27, 2016

Dean P.O.V.

I thought my heart stopped. It was like everything froze. Both Cas and I hardly had any clothing on and my drunken father was standing in the doorway. This is bad..This is very very bad. 

"Dad.." My voice was quiet and conceded. Both Cas and I were now standing, my arm in front of him as he stood next to me. 

"I thought I taught you your lesson boy, guess I'll just have to teach you again." John said angrily as he started for us and I pushed Cas further back to keep him out of John's reach. 

"Do whatever you want to me but just.. Just leave him alone!" I shouted as he got closer. He started laughing hysterically as he raised one of my old baseball bats in his left hand. I cant tell if it was me or Cas who was shaking, probably both of us. I watched as the bat bashed into my side forcefully. I felt like I was going to throw up. 

"Dean!" Cas shouted from behind me. I didn't end up puking, only spitting up blood. Every part of my body screamed at me to just collapse, to give up. But I couldn't. Not with Cas here. I needed to make sure John didn't get to him, he's already been through enough. He smashed the bat into my side again and I felt Cas move past me. I was hunched over, gripping onto my side as if everything would spill out if I didn't. 

"Cas, no." I managed to sputter out as he was now standing in front of me. I heard John start laughing again, that laugh infuriated me. I felt useless as John raised the bat again. Time no longer felt frozen.. It felt as if it kept speeding faster and faster. It seemed like I was watching a movie in fast-forward as John slammed the bat downward toward Cas.. But he caught it. Cas caught the bat in his hand before it could hit either of us. He then ripped the object from John's hand and held it in front of us as defense. My father looked surprised to say the least. 

"John, your going to leave right now and never bother these children again or I will not hesitate to pull the trigger." I listened as Bobby shouted from the doorway, with a shotgun. I looked more closely and saw Sam standing behind him with a panicked expression. Thank you Sam..

"What gives you the righ-" John began but Bobby interrupted him.

"Nobody gave it to me, I took it. I don't know what parenting handbook you've been reading, but I'm telling you now that it is wrong in every sense of the word. Your going to leave these boys alone or so help me I will shot you."

"Brother-"

"No." And with that John paused for a minute, but then slowly walked out with his hands up in surrender, Bobby followed, still aiming the gun at his brother. Once they were out of view I felt myself let go and dropped to the ground, Cas quickly dropped the bat and kneeled next to me. 

"Dean are you okay?!" Cas asked frantically while inspecting my side. I couldn't help myself as I started laughing, Cas looking at me confused. 

"Damn, Cas That was.. That was awesome." And I watched as his expression changed into relief. "You just ripped that bat outa his hand like nobody's business!" We both fell into a soft laughter, a few moments later I heard Sam walk back into the room. 

"Awe come on! I think I need to gauge my eyes out now." Cas and I started laughing all over again. Soon Bobby came back upstairs and stood in the doorway. "Bobby it got worse!" Sam pleaded as he continued covering his eyes. 

"Wha- Oh my lord, boys woulda put on some damn cloths?" Bobby exclaimed as he shook his head and left the room chuckling. I found it difficult to calm myself, it was just that.. Everything was perfect again.. Cas was smiling.. John was gone.. Sam was okay.. Bobby was acceptant.. I was just so damn happy. Once I got all cleaned up Cas and I got dressed and we went back downstairs where Sam and Bobby were. "You boys are moving to my place and that's final. Stow away your protest, I don't want to hear it. I know my brother, and I know that he will never stop. And Cas, from what Sam has told me.. I'm not letting you go back to your uncle, not if I can help it." Cas quietly thanked him, there was so much relief in his features that it actually made me relax. "I would start packin' cause you still have school tomorrow." Bobby remarked as Cas, Sam and I shared glances before we went up to our rooms to pack. 

At around eleven we were all packed and ready to go. Once we got there we left the boxes in his truck and the impala then went straight to bed. Even though there was enough rooms for each of us separately, Bobby let Cas and I share a room. 

The next day was normal, and so was Friday. On Saturday Cas and I just spent the whole day setting up our room and fooling around, I actually asked Cas out for our first official date! (Which of course he said yes and then the both of us were extremely happy). It was now Sunday, Halloween. Sam and Gabe were making a plan on what houses they were going to hit first tonight, while Cas and I were making our own plan for today. I had to leave in about a half hour to meet my team, that wasn't going to take long, when that's over it will probably be around four-ish so then I will come back here and get dressed for our date. I haven't told Cas where were going yet, I wanted it to be a surprise. After that we will both be going to Johns house to meet up with Charlie so she can help us with our outfits for the party. Its gonna be a busy night. 

Castiel P.O.V. 

 

Words cant describe how happy I am right now, I mean.. We're safe, We're together, We're going on our first date tonight, Dean made it on the baseball team.. I was exceptionally for Dean.. But I was also concerned. It was like the incident the other night with his father meant nothing to him.. I know that whenever my uncle or Lucifer came after me, it took quite a toll on me.. But Dean hasn't had any reaction whatsoever. I immediately thought the worst, I thought that maybe he's just burying it, keeping it down. I dreaded that. I know what its like to do that, I know that it keeps building and building until on day you just snap. I just hope that isn't the case. I woke out of my thoughts as Dean walked back into the room. 

"Alright angel, I gotta go. Be ready to go when I get back! Dress warm." He said as he planted a kiss on the top of my head. Sam and Gabriel started directing puking gestures towards us but we just laughed in response. Once Dean left I went back up to our room to find something to wear. After about fifteen minutes I settled for layers, I wore a white collar shirt under my gray sweater, a blue tie and black jeans. It was casual yet formal. 

Dean P.O.V.

As I pulled onto the dirt road that lead to a hidden parking lot I noticed all the pink petals on the ground, the large cherry trees created a canopy above the path. Further down the road I saw the field and multiple people roaming it. I parked the Impala away from the trees so when I came back it wouldn't be covered in the pink mess. On my walk down the small hill towards the field I tried to see if I recognized anyone here. All I could make out was one person, one completely dressed in black. God damnit. 

"Hey Winchester!" Crowley shouted out at me as I got closer, I wish I could make him pay for what he did to Cas.. But I don't want to make a bad impression on the rest of the team. I completely ignored him and walked right on by and towards the coach. "Hey fuckhead! I'm talkin to you!" He snapped as he gripped onto my jacket forcing me to respond. 

"Back off." I spat in his face and he let go. I felt a dull pain in my side when I stumbled away from his grasp.

"Whoa there, calm yourself. I just wanna be friends." 

"Oh yea? After how you've treated Castiel? I don't think so." I remarked as I tried to keep walking but he grabbed onto my jacket again. 

"Why you even hanging out with a fag like that? Com'on dude, your on the baseball team, girls be lining up for your ass, I'm offering to be your friend here!" I jerked away from his grasp and glared at him ignoring the pain that slowly got worse.

"I don't befriend assholes, especially self absorbed swines. So you can take you little friend request and shove it up your ass." Crowley's face now morphed into a scorn. Some of the other teammates who were listening nodded there heads in respect and Crowley just scowled at me as he walked off. I then walked over to the coach to receive my jersey without any trouble and went home. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I was sitting in the living room just listening to Sam and Gabriel talk about there costumes for tonight and I couldn't help but wonder what Charlie was planning. Dean had been gone almost twenty-five minutes, I was about to go back upstairs but then I heard the familiar roar of the impala. I practically jumped from my seat as both the younger boys gave me knowing grins. I skipped over to the door to let him in, and as soon as he stepped foot into the house Sam and Gabriel broke into song. Of course. 

"CAS AND DEAN SITTIN IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G." They were rolling on the floor dying of laughter as Dean examined me for a minute then wrapped his arm around my back and tipped me backward kissing me until they shielded their eye's, also causing the butterflies in my stomach to uproar. 

"Alright boys, don't you have a date to get to?" Bobby said as he strolled into the room, he whispered something to Dean before he sat down. 

Dean P.O.V.

 

"Ellen just called, its all set up." Bobby whispered to me just before he sat down and I felt a rush of excitement. Everything seems to be going as planed! I then told Cas to go wait in the car and I scurried upstairs to get dressed. Once I was all done I ran back downstairs trying not to trip over my own feet. 

"DUDE!" Sam shouted from the couch.

"What?!" 

"You don't even know how to tie a freaking tie right?" He said as he fixed my tie and rolled his eyes as he sat back down. 

"Thanks mom." I said sarcastically while both Bobby and I started laughing. 

"You boys go have fun, and don't forget to check in before you meet up with your friend!" Bobby shouted after me as I headed for the garage. As I was clear of the house and into the garage I noticed Gabriel, he was leaning next to the passenger door talking to Cas. When Gabriel saw me he started walking around the car and shouted. 

"You be good to him! And just know, I have a Nerf gun waiting." Gabriel said as he glared at me, sauntering past me and into the house. I started laughing at the thought of Sam and Gabe acting like parents, I could hear Cas laughing too. I quickly hopped into the drivers side and started the engine. I looked over at Cas who was looking at me as he ruffled my hair causing a pink petal to fall on my lap. 

"Hhmm." And I grabbed a random book from the backseat, enclosing the velvet-like pink heart to preserve it. "You ready?" I asked the adorable nerd sitting next to me. 

"Yep." And with that shy smile of his I felt myself relax once more. As we pulled out of the driveway I turned the radio on, 'Pompeii' by Bastille flowed throughout the impala. The rest of the ride was full of singing along to the music and poking each other when they weren't looking. I know we basically just met like a couple weeks ago, but I felt such strong feelings toward him.. I can't explain it.. I've never felt this before, it used to scare me but now I never want this feeling to end. It was about five when we arrived at the familiar dirt road, the sun was setting over the distant willow trees. I looked over at Cas who was fiddling with his hands while looking out the window excitedly and I felt myself smile widely. Ellen and her daughter Jo (and my soon to be cousin) helped set up a sorta picnic/dinner at the open clearing I brought Cas to a couple weeks ago. 

"We're here!" I exclaimed as I jumped out of the parked car and skipped over to the hood. Cas followed, I took his hand and raced him over to the picnic table mimicking my own movements from last time. I looked over at Cas again to see him watching me with a wild grin spread across his face. "Like it?" I asked as I directed my open hand towards the table. 

"I love it." And he pulled on the hem of my jacket, bringing me to his height as he kissed me. Once we both pulled away and sat down we spent the next hour or so just munching on the food my aunt prepared for us and talking about random yet interesting topics. It was about six twenty-ish and we were now walking along the swampy shoreline of the pond, the sun was technically set but the sky was lit up with dramatic colors. Fireflies scurried along the treeline and hovered over the shallow water, blinking every now and then.

Castiel P.O.V.

"Truth or dare?" I asked Dean as I looked him over, noticing that he was crossing his arms and had his head leaning downward so he was looking at the water as a smile played around his features. Both our jeans were rolled up at the bottom so they wouldn't get soaked from the freezing water, our shoes lifeless next to the picnic table. My hands were resting in my jean pockets as I kicked the water slightly with every step. Believe it or not but this is actually my first date ever, and it was perfect. I really had such strong feelings toward Dean, I don't think I've ever felt this way before, but I loved the feeling. 

"Dare." He replied as he looked at me with a devious grin. 

"Okay, I dare you to dunk your head under the water!" And I kicked it again. 

"Truth, truth, truth! I change my mind, I chose truth." We both started laughing at his sudden reaction. 

"Okay, umm.. Is it true that you'd be mad at me if I did this?" I almost shouted as I splashed him with a handful of swampy water.  

"Not in the slightest." Dean said mischievously as he kicked at the water causing it to splash me right in the face. We were now both laughing hysterically as we chased each other, splashing each other with the dirty pond water. It was when we were both almost drenched that Dean called truce. We dried ourselves a little bit by chasing the lightning bugs that blinked everywhere back on the dirt road before we got in the car and back to Bobby's.

We had to go through the city to get to Bobby's, 'Titanium' by David Guetta blasted from the radio and flowed through the open windows as we cruised down main street. Dean's hands tapped to the beat on the steering wheel, my head halfway out the window just taking in all the city lights as they zoomed past. This, this right here was the feeling that I wished would never go away, would never fade. The feeling of safety, care, but mostly love. I've fallen deeply for this green eyed boy and I'm almost certain he feels the same. The car vaguely started to smell of the dirty pond water that dried on both our clothing. It was the end of October, almost November so the car got cold pretty quick, the both of us rolled up our windows and Dean turned the heat on. 

"Once we get there you can go in to use the bathroom if you need, I'm just gonna run up and get a couple extra pairs of pants and check in with Bobby. Ok?" Dean exclaimed, never taking his eyes off the road.

"Ok." I faintly answered just as I noticed the stain on my seat that was once caked in blood. A few minutes later we pulled into Bobby's long dirt driveway and I decided to stay in the car. 

Dean P.O.V. 

After I parked the car next to the garage I gave Cas a quick smile before I jumped out of the vehicle and into the house. I was just so damn happy, I mean come 'on! Castiel Novak, this blue eyed boy who even though I've only known him for a limited amount of time.. I've fallen madly in love with him.. And from what he's told me, he feels the same. And I trust him. As I franticly searched our room for extra pants I couldn't help but replay the scene of Cas trying to capture the fireflies under the dark cove the willow trees created earlier. I found two pairs of jeans in the bottom drawer and grabbed them not even bothering to close it. I then ran downstairs to look for Bobby only to find him sitting at the kitchen table sipping on some unlabeled beer while reading last weeks newspaper. 

"Just checking in, Cas and I are going to meet up with Charlie." I almost shouted as I halfway opened the door, waiting for a response. 

"Alright. And be home at a reasonable time! Also, at least try to control yourself." Bobby scolded as he folded up the paper and tossed it out. I felt a small pit in my stomach once I realized what meant by that last part. I quickly skipped out of the house and back to the car, almost tripping and falling on my face. Just before I got in the car I noticed Cas, I couldn't hear him but I could see that he was singing along to the radio. Curiosity overruled me as I quietly opened the door, hoping that he wouldn't stop. 

"Oh, he knows what I think about  
And what I think about  
One love, two mouths   
One love, one house  
No shirts, no blouse   
Just us, you find out  
Nothing I really wanna tell you about no  
'Cause it's too cold, whoa   
For you here"

He was well aware of me and kept singing, Cas looked over at me with a wide smile spread across his face and I couldn't help but catch myself doing the same. Once I learned what part of the song he was in, I joined him.

"And if I may just take your breath away  
I don't mind if there's not much to say  
Sometimes the silence guides your mind  
So move to a place so far away  
The goosebumps start to race  
The minute that my left hand meets your waist  
And then I watch your face  
Put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love to taste yeah  
These hearts adore, everyone the other beat heart is for  
Inside this place is warm  
Outside it starts to pour"

I threw the extra jeans in the back and started for John's house, still watching as Cas sang along to the rest of the song. His voice was so soothing it seemed as if all the problems in the world just sorta disappeared for a minute, like everything was fine, everyone was okay. I had stopped reciting the lyrics so I could listen to him clearly.

"It's too cold, whoa  
For you here  
And now, so let me hold, whoa  
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater  
It's too cold, it's too cold  
The hands of my sweater"

Both Cas and I were now laughing hysterically as I pretended to play the drums on the steering wheel. The streets were filled with kids dressed up in costume, a while back I could've sworn I even saw Sam and Gabriel. 

"Practice.. Hmm." I commented as the song finished. When we turned the corner, John's house came into view. I noticed the little flinch Cas made when we passed his house, the lights were on inside. I didn't park in the driveway because I didn't want to risk being seen by either Uriel, Lucifer or John if they were in the area. "Charlie should be here in a few, this gives us enough time to change and mentally prepare ourselves for her outfit ideas." We both started laughing all over again. I grabbed the jeans from the back and hopped out of the car, he did the same. As we were walking on the sidewalk and towards the house I watched as Cas tensed up every step he got closer to the auburn red building that was filled with horrible memories. I reached my hand down and intertwined our fingers, Cas looked back at me and his expression changed from fear to comfort. He then started running, our hands still bearing as I chased him all the way to the back door, weaving our way through the people that filled the streets. "Wow, for a guy who has a broken rib your quite energetic." I said with a light chuckle but still hinting at the unease. 

"Eh." Was his only response as I unlocked the door. 

"Really though, how is it?" I asked, my voice occupied by disquiet. I flicked the light switch, revealing the mess of a kitchen that John had created.     

"Better, I guess. I mean, it doesn't hurt much anymore." He said as he almost stepped on the shattered beer bottle that scattered across the floor.  

"Come 'on, they broke your friggin' rib. That's gotta hurt." I replied, slightly agitated. 

"I don't know, I guess I'm just sorta used to this stuff." He was now fiddling with the bandage around his right hand, his head tilted to the side a bit. I just watched for a moment until I leaned forward, pulling his face closer to mine and embraced him. 

 

"That's not good Cas." My words came out quieter then I intended. "You shouldn't have to be used to that." I then watched as he shuddered in place, still avoiding eye contact. I felt so bad for all of this, I was actually tempted to charge over there and make those sick sons of bitches pay for what they did. 

"I'm gonna go change, I'll be right back." Cas said just before he carefully maneuvered his way across the room, trying not to step on the broken glass. 

"Ok." And I scurried over to retrieve the broom and dust pan to clean up the mess before somebody got hurt. Once I was all finished I slipped out of my muddy jeans and grabbed the extra pair on the counter. In the midst of me struggling to put on the pants, the doorbell rang. I quickly waddled my way over to the door, the jeans only halfway on. I opened the door and poked my head through hiding the rest of my body. 

"Bad time?" Charlie asked with a light laugh. 

"Heh, uhh.. No, umm just give me a minute." I responded as I attempted to pull my pants up more. 

"Umm.. Dean?" I heard Cas laughing from the staircase. 

"Hmm?" I murmured, still struggling. I listened to both Cas and Charlie losing it as I continued wrestling with the wicked jeans. 

"Here." Cas said as he slid his hands along my waistline and looped his hands in the belt holes, tugging upward. "Better?" He asked as he looked up at me with a playful expression. 

"Much." I replied, closing my eyes as Cas leaned upward and closer to my face but stopped. He then opened the door fully letting Charlie in and sauntered into the kitchen with a wild grin across his face. 

"You tease!" I shouted after him, laughing as I turned back to Charlie who had a feral smirk on. I saw that she was dressed up as superwoman, she also carried two plastic bags filled with what I presume to be our death. 

"Sup Bitches!" She said as I closed the door behind her and followed me into the kitchen. 

Castiel P.O.V.

"Hey Charlie." I said as I embraced her, her doing the same. 

"Its good to see you Cas!" She responded and I remembered that I never told Dean she used to be my best friend, he looked confused. "I'm sorry but it actually looks like you two got hit by a bus.." Charlie remarked as she backed up to get a better look at us. She set her bags on the counter, turning to Dean.

"Thanks." Dean replied with a laugh. After about a minute of light chuckles and awkward glances I decided to clear the air a bit. 

"Oh uhh, Charlie and I used to be close friends." I stated hoping that would clear the slight perplexity that Dean expressed.

"Got it." He said with a laugh that made me genuinely ecstatic, Charlie then expressed a sort of squealing noise. 

"MY NUMBER ONE SHIP HAS SAILED!" She shouted and both Dean and I started laughing at her sudden outburst. "You'd be surprised how seldom that happens." Now rummaging through the plastic bag she set on the counter. "Costumes, anybody?" She pulled out two outfits, still on hangers. 

"DIBS!" Dean shouted as he took the batman shirt and mask, both Charlie and I cracking up as I took the robin set. She then took the second bag and pulled two leather jackets out, and black and a red. She handed the red one to me and the black one to Dean. "Whoa, Charlie where'd you get all this?" Dean asked with a chuckle.

"Tessa's aunt works at Zumez, she hooked me up with these and a few other outfits last week.  You two change, I need to use the bathroom for a sec." And Dean pointed down the hall, directing towards the lavatory. Once Charlie left the room he walked over to me, loosening my tie and set it on the counter. He then shifted his hands around my waist, tugging my sweater over my head, leaning down so he was just centimeters away, I braced myself as he got closer but then he paused. A gigantic grin grew across his face as he pulled away, lightly chuckling as he removed his shirt. 

"Haha!" I replied sarcastically as I pulled the Robin getup over my head, him doing the same. The both of us now chortling at how ridiculous we looked in costume. We then took the jackets she gave us and put them on. Amidst the breathless laughs that came from the both of us, Dean cleared his throat before he started speaking and it made my stomach flip for the hundredth time today. 

"Castiel James Novak, will you be the Robin to my Batman at the Halloween get-together tonight?" Dean pronounced as he took both my hands in his, swaying back and forth a little bit. 

"Dean I don't know your middle name Winchester, It would be my honor." I replied as I looked back up at him with awe. We had knowing smiles as the both of us leaned in and kissed each other eagerly and sensually. Once we pulled away I asked, "What is your middle name?" Before he answered he picked up the Robin mask that laid on the counter beside us and placed it over my head. 

"Zeppelin." 

"The airship?" I took the Batman mask and reached up, placing it over his head. Both our mask only covered half of our face's, our eyes and nose's. 

"Led Zeppelin," 

"Ah." And there we were, both smiling like a couple 'a dorks. 

 

"Ready?" Charlie asked as she promenade down the hall. 

"Yup." The two of us spoke at the same time, we all grabbed our things and left the poorly maintained abode. Charlie jumped in the backseat as Dean and I hopped in the front. 

"And off we go!" Dean exclaimed after he waited for the sidewalk to clear, then speeding out and onto the road. Charlie chose the radio station so 'I am' by AWOLNATION circulated throughout the vehicle as we drove to Lisa Braeden's house. Just minutes later we arrived and saw how crowded the place was, high schooler's dressed in costume roamed both the inside and outside if the ginormous house. It was as if everyone from school was here. I felt a tiny bit of anxiety and regret shoot through me but Dean just squeezed my hand in reassurance. We parked on the lawn, along with most of the other cars and Charlie imetietly jumped out and leaned on the side of the impala. "Charlie are you going to need a ride back home?" Dean asked as he walked over to the back of the car. 

"Nah, I can score a ride from Tessa. Thank you though." She said as she scanned the crowd and I felt Dean lock his hand in mine as he stood next to me. "I'm gonna go talked to her, go have fun you two!" Charlie shouted over the loud music and scurried off into the crowd in search for her girlfriend. 

"Well, what now?" I asked as I turned back to Dean who was just staring back at me with a devious grin. Even though Dean was here to calm me down, I still felt slightly panicky because hardly anyone from school even knew about us and now here we were, Dean holding my hand standing only inches away from me, people from school surrounding us. The both of us were still covered in black and purple bruises so there was already quite a few stares being sent our way. 

"ITS OKAY CAS!" Dean shouted over the music as he now looked at me with slight concern. 

Dean P.O.V.

I could tell that Cas was anxious, I didn't know what else to do so I just leaned down and kissed him, smushing our mask together. After a couple minutes I pulled away and whispered to him. 

"Lets go inside shall we? Its cold out here." 

"Okay." And I tugged on his hand, weaving our way through the mass of teenagers in costume. The crowd thickened as we got closer to the door and I could feel Cas's hand tighten around mine. Lights scattered everywhere, Halloween decorations plastered on every wall. It was also very clear that someone spiked the drinks because almost everyone had been struggling to walk straight, I needed to steer clear of that. I found a slightly open spot in front of a mantel and lugged Cas over towards it. 

"EH?" I hollered so he could hear me. He just started laughing as drunken people danced sluggishly around us. "May I have this dance?" I asked as I stood in an arabesque mockingly. I couldn't take my eyes off him, it sorta feels like its the first time I'm seeing him again.. His hair stuck out at odd angles, the robin mask covering the bruises around his eyes, the red leather jacket seemed bold against him yet fitting.. It was these little things that drove me crazy about him. 

"Of course." He responded, still smiling as I wrapped my left hand around his waist and my right still linked with his. We spent the next half hour or so just dancing and laughing. Everything was perfect and awesome, we were both lighthearted until I watched as Cas's face flushed. 

"What's wrong?" I asked fretfully. His eyes roamed the crowd and he tensed up, my hands still resting on his waist as he backed up a little. 

"Wha- nothing! I..I just need to go to the bathroom, that's all." I didn't believe him for a second but I had no idea what to do. 

"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked troubled. 

"No, no its fine. I'll be right back." He seemed jittery, our hands brushed as he left in search for the bathroom. I tried scoping the crowd to see what he was so worked up about but I was interrupted by a girl in a nurse costume. 

Castiel P.O.V.

My heart stopped for a second when I spotted Crowley across the room. The only thing I could think about was making sure he didn't get to Dean so I made an excuse saying I had to go to the bathroom. It actually hurt me to lie to him but it was better then watching him get stuck in more issues. As I rushed my way through the crowd and eventually found the bathroom that was surprisingly open, I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. I locked the door behind me and leaned on the sink dropping my head as I took the mask off. I hated this. I hated having to live in constant fear. I hated having to dodge so many people just for my general health. I could feel myself start choking on feelings that I've been trying so hard to hide for the past few weeks. All night I've been playing with the bandage Dean put on my right hand to cover the self inflicted cut, I finally ripped it off revealing the familiar dark red gash. I attempted to muffle the uncontrollable sobs that escaped me as I heard someone bang on the door. I did my best to clean myself up and wipe the evidence of tears before I left. I opened the door with one hand and placed the mask over my face with the other. A couple agitated people then stumbled into the bathroom behind me and I continued on with my head tipped down as music bounced off the walls. I didn't know where anything was so I just hoped Crowley had left the living room so I could go back to Dean. As I was walking through the kitchen I felt a sudden shriek of pain whip through my side. 

"Thought you could dodge me didn't you?" Crowley spit at me as he pinned me to the wall, Alastair and Zachariah behind him. I could smell the stench of booze on his breath and I panicked.


	9. Three Sheets to the Wind

Sunday Oct. 31, 2016

Dean P.O.V. 

"Hey, you're Dean right?" The unfamiliar girl asked as she stood a little too close. 

"Yea." I gave a short response. 

"Lisa Braeden." She held her hand out as an instruction, I shook it. 

"Oh so this is your party then?" I asked, still scanning the crowd.

"Yea, my parents are out of town for the week so I thought, hey why not throw a party!?" She started giggling to herself for a minute as she lost balance. She was clearly drunk. "So I was thinking.. Since your now like one of the most popular guys in the school and I'm the most popular girl.. We should be like.. You know, a thing, right?" 

"Sorry, I'm not available." I replied in a sort of snarky way, hoping the she would leave me alone but she didn't seem to notice.

"Damn.. What's her name?" 

"His na-"

"ANSWER ME YOU FUCKFACE!" The sudden shout made everyone's head turn. I knew that voice. I immediately started pushing my way through the crowd and towards the scene. 

"HEY." I shouted forcefully at the dumb fuck who was pinning Cas to the wall. Once I pushed my way through the last row of people I shoved Crowley causing him to fall over. I looked over at Cas who was clutching onto his side. I felt my insides burn with rage at the thought of him hurting. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" I vociferate loudly. He jumped back up on his feet and looked at me angrily. 

 

"THIS DUMBASS ALWAYS GETS IN MY WAY. WHAT ARE YOU? HIS FUCKING BOYFRIEND?" At this point I was so enraged, it was hard to not just start pummeling him. I quickly took Cas's hand and dragged him on top of the counter with me, once we were in everyone's view I took both our mask off and kissed him lustfully and intensely, him doing the same. We both just completely forgot about the rest of the world and just focused on each other as Crowley and the rest of the school watched. Once my adrenaline started calming down a little bit I heard the whole household of gasp and cheers. We didn't separate for a good few minutes or so, just until the need for air was required.

"Fucking fags." Crowley mumbled as he staggered out of the room and out of the house showing how blitzed he was. Most the room was either applauding or whispering to their friends in shock. Charlie was the loudest, stumbling over people as she made her way over to us, cheering us on. 

"Are you okay?" I asked as I returned my attention towards Cas who was still slightly holding onto his side. 

Castiel P.O.V.

"Yeah." I really was, it was nothing I couldn't handle. The butterflies in my stomach still rioting from moments before, I'm not quite sure if what just happened will be a good or a bad thing down the road, but honestly I didn't care. He just gave me a scathing look as he moved my hand and examined my side, he lifted my shirt just a bit to see the bandages that wrapped around my core. "Dean!" I whisper shouted as I pushed his hand down. 

"What?" He asked so innocently with that damn smile of his. I just gave him a confounded look as I tipped my head directing towards the partying crowd that was still in view. "Oh." Then he hopped down from the counter and held his hand out for support as I leaped from the bar. "Careful!" He hollered as I almost crash-landed, we both started laughing at my sudden clumsiness. He then took my hand again and started down the hall towards the bathroom. By now a line had formed, random people either making out with strangers or puking in bags restlessly stood scattered in the hallway awaiting the bathroom. Dean and I found a spot near the wall and waited, I kept telling him I was fine but he wouldn't listen. I put my mask back on and he did the same.

"HEY GUYS!" Charlie bawled as she stumbled into the hallway. 

"Charlie are you drunk?" Dean asked as he steadied her, laughing as she kept tripping. 

"Possibly." And we all broke into a blurred laughter. "DUDES THAT WAS AWSOME!" She roared over the deafening music. "WAY TO COME OUT!" The extra shouting must've annoyed some of the people waiting in line because they walked off. 

"How much did you have to drink? Your wasted!" I shouted so she could hear me. 

"Where's Tessa?" Dean asked as Charlie almost fell over due to intoxication. 

"HERE I AM!" Tessa shouted as she staggered over to us, holding multiple red cups. "Here." She added as she handed both Dean and I two of the cups. 

"Oh no I'm not drinking tonight, sorry." Dean said as he gazed at the cup, attempting to hand it back but she just insisted. I could've sworn I saw hints of distress coming from him, but maybe its just my imagination. 

"Its non alcoholic I swear!" And I looked down into my red solo cup to investigate its contents. Dean stared at the cup for a second before he sipped on it, slowly building up to full on swinging. Both Charlie and Tessa laughing and cheering him on as he finished and looked at the cup in wonder. 

"Mm whats in it then?" He asked as he looked back up at the two girls who now had their arms slung over each other, supporting one another. 

"I have no idea." Tessa exclaimed as she started laughing all over again. Dean just looked at his empty plastic cup then back at me with a 'Aw crap' expression and I couldn't help but let out a slight laugh as I set my drink down on a shelf, not wanting to risk it. 

"How are you guys getting home? No offence but Tessa, your in no shape to drive right now." I asked as I moved out of the way from people. 

"Oh, Kevin's our designated driver!" And she directed to the kid in the orange sweater across the room, cheering on some heated game a lot of people were shouting about. After a few minutes of small conversation they both left to find one of their friends and I caught Dean chugging another drink he managed to find. 

"Hey!" I half shouted as I took the cup from him. "You don't know what's in that!" And I set it down on another shelf. 

"Its good though, try it!" He said as he pick it back up and sipped on it. I took it back out of his hands and set it back on the shelf. 

"No thanks, I'm not trying 'a risk anything." I said with a chuckle, their was definitely something in that drink and it made him a little off. I looked over my shoulder and saw that the line had cleared so I took Dean's hand and pulled him closer to the door, watching as he stumbled. 

"Opps." He started with a light giggle as he attempted to walk straight but failed. "I got this!" Dean shouted as he once again tried to get himself up but failed, I burst out laughing as I helped him walk into the empty bathroom. 

"Dean you're drunk." I said, still laughing as I closed the door behind us. 

"Am not! I only had like two drinks!" He was now leaning against the opposite wall from me. 

"Mmhm." We were both now observing each other, Dean poorly mouthing the lyrics to the music outside. 

"Alright, will you let me see that your okay now?" He gave me the puppy dog eyes as he walked over to me, loosely wrapping his arms around my core. 

"I said I'm fine." I claimed as I lifted my shirt to reveal the bandages. 

"Hhmm" And he playfully crouched down to inspect the tape wrapped gauze. "I think I see something!" He was mimicking a doctor voice and I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. 

"Those would be my stitches, Dean." I uttered in-between chuckles as he looked up at me with an impish tone. 

"Mmm sexy." And we both lost it, heaving from laughing so much we almost didn't hear the knock on the door followed by shouting. 

"Come 'on." I said as I took his hand and hauled him back into the living room. By now, some of the crowd has thinned or passed out somewhere. The lights and music still flashing everywhere, igniting a feeling that I loved. Dean and I just spent the next couple hours or so dancing and pushing all our past issues away. When I wasn't looking Dean managed to sneak another drink, now he was definitely wreaked. It was getting late so I somehow talked him into leaving the now lamented party. I helped the tipsy Dean walk outside but as we neared the car I stopped. "Umm Dean?" 

"Yea?"  

"You cant drive." He paused, looking down at himself for a minute before responding. 

"Sure I can! I got my license!" His words were slushed but he was overall an adorable drunk. 

"No Dean, you're smashed!" He stood there for a second, looking baffled. I just sighed as I took the keys from him and helped him onto the passenger side. Once I hopped into the drivers seat I realized, I have no idea how to drive. I looked over all the controls in front of me to try and figure out what to do first, I took my mask off to help me focus. 

"You put the umm, you put the key in that thing then press go." I just dramatically turned my head to look at him and paused. 

"Thank you." I replied with heavy sarcasm as I listened to him laugh hysterically, which made me laugh as well. First I put the key in the ignition and started the car, then I checked the mirrors to see if anyone was walking behind us. Once I was sure it was clear I tried to remember which pedal was forward or reverse.. I have no clue.. I quickly got frustrated and gave up. "I don't know how to do this." I exclaimed dispiritedly as I rested my head on the steering wheel with defeat.  

"Lets just sleep here then!" Dean said excitedly as he jumped out of the car and walked (almost tripping on the car) over to my side. After I turned the car off I opened my door and let him pull me out as he opened the backseat. The cold October air nipped at us as we looked around to see if anyone was watching before we stumbled into the backseat, Dean on top of me as I laid on my back. 

"Dean.." 

"Yeah?" 

"..Your still wearing the mask." 

"What mask?" I let out a laugh as I lightly flicked one of ears. "Oh.." Amidst the chuckles that came from us both I wrapped my hand around the back of his head and leaned upward to kiss him. Whilst us fighting for dominance he sluggishly tugged the mask off his head, ceasing to break contact. Things heated up rapidly and even though Dean was clearly intoxicated, he was still careful. Anon both our shirts and jackets laid lifelessly on the floor unlike their owners who had been vigorously exploring one another. I felt his hand slowly brush against my wound and relaxed at the touch, my heart skipped a beat when he continued downward. Our tongues tangled as my hands shifted from the back of his neck, down his arms feeling how brawny he really is, his hands finding their way down to the fly of my jeans. Within minutes, the both of us breathlessly panting for air in-between contact, most of my clothing was stripped away as I helped him struggle with his jeans once more. They must've shrank in the wash. I felt an uncomfortable rack shoot through my body as I cracked up with laughter at the sight of Dean stumbling onto the floor, fighting with the pants. Once he managed to kick them off he took my hand and pulled me down on the floor causing me to tumble on top of him. For the backseat of a car it was surprisingly extensive. Before I turned my attention back to the forest eyed boy in front of me, I could've sworn I saw someone lurking by the car. 

"De-" I was interrupted by the crash of our mouths, I didn't mind it though. Once we separated I tried again. "Dean!" I cried more distressed-like. 

"You say my name a lot." He let out a mellow chuckle, embracing me anew. 

"Well.. What do you want me.. To call you then?" I managed to get out betwixt the interlock of our mouths, he paused and looked at me with a contemplating mien.

"Batman." His voice hushed, roughly clasping the side of my face, pulling me closer to him as he eagerly kissed me from my jaw to my collarbone. He caught me off-guard and rolled us over so now he was on top of me, causing shivers to shoot from my shoulders down to the week spot behind my knees. 

"Ok Batman, I think I just saw someone outside." I tipped my head up to allow more access. 

"That damn joker!" He muttered, never dismissing contact. "Always trying to steel my thunder.." He mumbled once more as he slowly paused, getting at better look at me before he grew the biggest grin. The butterflies no longer just in my stomach, but in my chest, feet, arms, head. "Cas?" His left hand still moving up my side, right planted next to my head holding him up. 

"Hhm?" 

"I think I have a massive crush on you." He words still slushed. 

 

"I know." I tittered at his sudden bashfulness. "Now get off me." I snickered as I sat up to check the time, the both of us giggling like dweebs. I reached for my jeans on the seat and took out my phone. Before I could read the time I got distracted by the multiple texts and missed calls from Gabriel, Sam and even Bobby. 

32m ago

Bobby: Are you boys alright? Neither of you are answering your phone and its getting late. 

Gabriel: Dude you better not have gotten drugged and abducted I swear

Sam: Where are you guys?!

Gabriel: Or aliens..  

14m ago

Bobby: If neither of you respond and tell me your alright I'm calling the police to have them search for you.

 

I immediately responded hoping he hadn't already called them. 

Castiel: Bobby its alright, we're ok! Just had some setbacks so we cant drive home

He replied within seconds.

Bobby: Oh thank god, I'm glad your ok! I already called though, they're out looking for you. 

Castiel: About that.. Someone spiked the drinks so Dean's not very sober at the moment..

Bobby: I warned him! You have to keep him under control. Last thing we need is for him to be arrested for underage drinking.

Castiel: I'll do my best. 

I put my phone down a smacked the almost comatose Dean to get him to wake up. Bobby's comment about warning him swimming around my head. 

"Batman, come 'on. Put your pants on, the police are coming to pick us up." He stirred awake and shouted.

"I AM BATMAN, YES." I softly chucked his pants at him as I battled with my own. I opened the door and got slapped in the face with cold air, I stepped out so it would be easier to dress myself. I noticed how the yard was almost deserted, litter scattered everywhere and only a few people still partying. After a few minutes I was completely presentable and I looked in the car to see if Dean got dressed. He had his shirt on.. Not his pants though. He was just sitting in the backseat looking out the window tranquilly. 

"Umm.. Dean? Where are your pants?" 

"Oh. I threw them out the window." His words still slushed and slow. 

"Why woul.. Never mind. Just come 'on." I said, still chortling as I rounded the car and picked up the dirty pants. Dean lazily rolled out of the car and stood in front of me. "Your gonna have to help me here." I said as I lightly pushed him back and sat him down on the backseat, still facing me though. Just as I started pulling the jeans over his feat I looked up to see a police cruiser strolling up the driveway. "Ok Dean, are you listening to me?" I asked as I continued helping him with the denim. 

"Umhm." He shouted in a lively voice. I pulled him out of the car so he was standing and looped my fingers in the belt holes as I tugged upward.

"Your going to act as sober as possible, ok?" Now buttoning them so they would stay in place. "And hold this." I said as I grabbed both our jackets from under the seat and handed the black on to dean, directing him to cover his crotch area. I did the same with mine. 

"Okie-dokey." I closed the door behind him and waved at the cruzer. "Batman acts.." I just looked at him confused as I wrapped my free arm around his waist so he wouldn't collapse. 

"On second thought.. Just try not to say anything.." The car pulled up in front of us and I felt Dean become drowsy. I watched as the policeman gazed around the littered yard and made a call to another officer, probably calling this in.. A little late though. 

"Your fathers worried sick about you two, come 'on I'll give you a lift home." The officer said as they unlocked the doors. I subtly helped Dean into the backseat and buckled him in. "Car troubles?" He asked as he watched us from the mirror suspiciously . 

"Yea." And Dean started laughing for no reason, dropping his head on my shoulder. The officer studied us cynically. 

"Son, are you drunk?" His voice was stern as he turned to face us. 

"Y-"

"He's got a schizoaffective disorder." I blurted out before he could finish. He just stared at us for a minute before proceeding. My anxiety quickly rose. The both of us awkwardly sitting in the backseat, Deans head resting on my shoulder and an unconvincing smile on my face as the policeman scanned us. hopefully not paying much attention to the jackets we were bearing over our areas. 

"My apologies." The officer said as he started for Bobby's house. Dean just shifted his head and squinted at me scornfully. I silently shushed him as he opened his mouth to speak again. The next fifteen minutes was spent with him trying to kiss me but I kept putting my hand over his mouth because the officer still thinks we're brothers. When we arrived at the salvage yard I removed my hand and unbuckled his seat, then mine. I thanked the officer and helped Dean out of the car, watching as Bobby, Gabriel, Sam and two other people that I've never met rushed out of the house. Bobby went to talk to the officer, probably to distract him from the staggering boy while Sam, Gabriel and the others came over to us to help him walk straight. The six of us trying to act as normal as possible when Dean collapsed, also dropping his coat. Once we reached the front step the two younger boys went ahead to open the door, the rest trailing behind as I directed him inside and towards the couch. When we reached the sofa he collapsed onto it, hauling me down as well. I landed on top of him again and he pulled on the back of my head bringing me down towards his as our mouths collided. Usually I would be anxious with so many people in view but I couldn't find it in me to care. I heard laughter coming from the rest of the room and I pulled away revealing the deadly grin on his face as I scooted off him causing him to crack up with laughter. I ignored the pang in my side as Bobby entered the room. 

"I tell you to be home at a reasonable time then you don't come back at all?!" Bobby exclaimed grimly as he closed the door behind him. "And drinking? Really?" Both Dean and I sitting on the couch with our heads down as he walked over to stand in front of us, the older woman next to him and the younger one leaning on the door frame, Sam and Gabriel watching from the staircase. 

"Sorry sir." We both muttered. Everything was serious and tense until Dean let out a really loud burb making it impossible for either of us to keep it together. Bobby just stood there tiredly with his hand on his forehead, looking so done while still smiling, the older woman shaking her head trying to control her laughter as the rest of us completely lost it. 

"Are we going to punish them?" The woman asked while still lightly laughing. Bobby just left the room and went into the kitchen. About a minute later he came back out and set a water bottle on the side table next to dean. 

"No. Getting up for school tomorrow will be punishment enough." Dean let out a loud groan at that, he then picked up one of the throw pillows and covered his head. 

"Speaking of school.. You two," She pointed to the two lurking on the staircase. "Its almost two in the morning, you should be in bed." And I watched as they scurried upstairs without hesitating. Gabriel had been staying here lately, it was definitely a full house with all the spare bedrooms.

"That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea." Bobby said as he walked over to the older woman and kissed her before he left the room. I assume that's his fiance then.

"Yea, I'm turning in. Goodnight mom, 'night you two." The girl across the room said before she skipped up the stairs. The older woman then turned to face both Dean and I. 

"Alright, well, better introduce myself at some point! My names Ellen and that was my daughter Joanna. Nice to finally meet you Castiel." She held out her hand and I shook it, I gave her a polite smile. 

"You too!" I responded, realizing how painfully awkward I am. There was a short pause. 

"Ok, go to bed you two! And no shenanigans!" She uttered as she neared the door, turning the light switch. 

"Goodnight!" I whisper shouted at the same time as Deans muffled attempt to say the same. 

"'Night guys." And she was up the stairs. Once she was out of sight Dean dramatically threw the pillow from his face and started snickering. 

"What?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the volume down. 

"You said night!" He was speaking in a loud whisper, still laughing hysterically as he continued. "You said night but its morning!" His snorting grew on, causing me to laugh along. After a few minutes of calming down he beckoned me over and I obeyed, he snatched me up in his arms and nudged his head in the crook of my neck as I laid next to him. I'd have to get up once he fell asleep because I knew he'd be nauseated later, I don't want to block his path to the bathroom. "Cas?" His voice was muffled. 

"Yeah?" I noticed he was hesitant to respond.

"Do you love me?" 

"Why would you ask something like that?" Each response was spaced. 

"I dunno.. Just.. Do you?"

"I would say yes but that doesnt seem like enough.. In the past few years and even beyond that I dont think I've ever been this happy with someone else.. If you ever think for one minute that I dont have feelings for you.. Your wrong." This barely scratched the surface of how much I actually felt about him. 

"I love you too." I felt myself smile uncontrollably at his response. I don't think I've ever felt this euphoric. Once I was sure he was asleep, I slowly slipped out of his grasp and grabbed one of the blankets on the chest behind the couch laying it out over him. I then took another one and laid down in the recliner next to the sofa, drifting away into a heavy sleep. 

Dean P.O.V. [The next morning]

When I woke up, I didn't even bother checking the time as I darted for the bathroom. Thankfully it wasn't in use so I plummet on my knees, gripping onto the side of the toilet bowl as I purged whatever I had left in my stomach. I rested my head on the seat, not caring if it was unsanitary. My splitting headache not helping as I continued heaving stomach acids. I was so busy with my head stuck in the shitter, spewing myself that I didn't even notice Bobby lean on the door frame. 

"Bet you wont do that again, huh?" He said as he smiled around his coffee, I just let out a groan as I felt the familiar rack up my body. "Water helps." And he left, chuckling quietly to himself. I spent the next ten to fifteen minutes focusing on not dying as I continued retching due to not having anything in my stomach. 

"Morning sunshine." I heard Cas from the doorway. I just mustered up the best smile I could despite still feeling like shit. I saw that he was holding paper towels and a water bottle. He kneeled next to me, lifting my head with one hand, cleaning my face with the other. He threw the dirty napkin in the toilet and ordered me to rinse my mouth out. After I gurgled the salt water I spit it out in the loo and flushed it. "Here." He said as he handed me two ibuprofen. 

"You sure know a lot about curing hangovers." I uttered as I swallowed the pills. 

"Yea.. Sometimes Michael would come home in the morning just like this so I've kinda adapted to helping." There was a pause before either of us responded. 

"Cant say I'm not grateful." I remarked as I tried standing up but failed as I sensed vomit rise up my throat again. I felt him rest his hand on my back as I continued hurling into the lavatory. After minutes of the uncomfortable purging, I was finally able to pause it as he wiped my face again. 

"Bobby agreed to drop us off at your car once we're ready." After he said this I just gurgled the salt water and attempted to get up again. 

"Alright, lets do this!" I shouted, trying to motivate myself. 

"Whoa there, just wait a couple more minutes, let your insides settle for gods sake." He stated in a dour tone as he lightly pushed me back down from my standing position. 

"Damn Cas, I get all warm and fuzzy when you take over like that." He just rolled his eyes as he started for the door and I chuckled softly, not wanting to start another vomit-fit. 

"Oh and there's some greasy bacon on the table if you want it." I listened to him snicker to himself.

"Ugh, I hate you." I chortled as I got up and leaned against the sink. 

"That's not what you said last night." Cas said as he poked his head through the doorway with a devious grin. 

"Wait.." I tried to piece together last nights events. I listened as he skipped up the stairs and I continued searching my mind for lost memories. 

 

Bobby P.O.V.

"Wait.." I listened to Dean try and remember last night. He was handling his hangover better than you'd think, but then again.. This definitely isn't the first time. I've caught him drinking his fathers liquor on multiple occasions, it used to be a real problem a couple years back, but Ellen helped him out of it. I don't think he's told Castiel though, so I just played along. I watched as Cas rushed down the stairs and over to the bathroom door, handing Dean a clean shirt. 

"Do you need help with your pants again?" I overheard him whisper to Dean through the doorway and couldn't help myself from chuckling into my coffee. I was happy for the two. I haven't known Castiel very long, but he certainly seems more jovial then when we first met. Dean on the other hand, I've known him his whole life and I've never seen him this happy. I paid attention to the low mumbles of him muttering memories from last night until he stumbled out of the room after Cas who had a wide smirk across his face. 

"Why schizoaffective disorder though?" Dean also had broad smile on his face as he continued chasing Cas who was now out the door. After I heard the screen door slam shut I finished my coffee and quietly followed. 

Once I dropped them off at their car I went back home to meet up will Ellen. She should be back from bringing Sam and Gabriel to school. We're suppose to continue planning our wedding today but I also need to talk to her about something else. Something I've been discussing with Cas's older brother, Michael.


	10. Douche With Leverage

Monday Nov. 1, 2016

Castiel P.O.V. 

After Bobby dropped us off at Deans car, we went straight to school. The rest of the day was normal.. Well, Other than the countless hungover students. Surprisingly neither of us have seen Crowley yet, I hope that's a good thing. My last class just let out so I was walking over to the side entrance to meet up with Dean. As I was walking down the hall, a few people standing by their lockers smiled at me as I passed them. I noticed that's been happening a lot today.. People randomly saying hi or talking to me.. Its like they finally recognize that I exist, most likely because of last night. 

"Hey!" I shouted with a beam as I turned the corner and saw him waiting by the door. 

"Hey!" He replied as I got closer. 

"I hope you remembered your practice tonight." I snickered as I watched his eyes widen in remembrance. 

"Crap! What time is it?" 

"Don't worry! You still got like an hour." I was chuckling at his sudden fluster. 

"Hhmm.. How do you wanna pass the time?" He asked deviously as he wrapped him arms around my core and pulled me closer, inducing the butterflies in me to arise. 

"I dunno, what do you wanna do?" I replied, tipping my head up so we were face to face, the both of us only inches apart. 

"Mmm.. Run." And with that he let go of me and dashed down the hall and through the exit, laughing wildly. I quickly followed, trying not to drop my books and I pushed the door open with my elbow while smiling like an idiot. I finally caught up to him by the car and noticed how empty the parking lot was. "Great substitute for gym class, huh?" 

"Ugh, I am NOT looking forward to taking gym." I replied, the both of us still laughing.

"Don't worry, we can take it together." He said with a wink that made me laugh even more, causing me to snort and then the both of us to laugh hysterically. Once we both managed to calm down, Dean walked behind me while covering my eyes with his hands. "I'll direct you." 

"Mkay.." I don't like not being able to see, but I trust him. It felt like we were walking in circles until he told me to stop. I heard the sound of a door open then he told me to sit. I moved my hands over the seat for guidance as I sat down, awaiting further instruction. He told me to close my eyes, I obeyed. He then let go and closed the door, a few seconds later I heard another door open, then close on my right. No..

"You can open your eyes now!" His voice excited as I opened them, revealing that I was sitting in the drivers seat. "I'm going to teach you how to drive!" He said triumphantly, I just stared at him blankly. "Here." He took my books off my lap and set them in the backseat. "Just relax, there's hardly any cars here so what's the worst that could happen?" 

"Umm.." I could think of a hundred possible ways this could go wrong..

"Ok. So first buckle up." We both did. "Now adjust the mirror," I tipped it down so I could see behind the car. "And turn it on." 

"How do I do that?" I felt kinda stupid asking an obvious question like that. 

"You put the key in the ignition and turn." He was smiling fondly at my dubiety. "Now press the brake and put it in drive." 

"Which ones the brake?" 

"The one on the left." He said in between chuckles. 

"Ok and how do I put it in drive?" I started laughing along with him. 

"You see this gear?" He pointed to the lever in between us. "You switch it all the way to D, ok?"

"K." I slightly pushed on the brake with my foot and changed the gear to drive, all of a sudden feeling confident about this. "Now what?" He was watching me with a wide smile. 

"Ease off the brake and slowly press the gas." I did just that, causing the car to move at a slow pace, I didn't know how to control the speed so I just lightly pressed on the gas. "Your doing it!" He cheered as I picked up the pace a tiny bit, turning the wheel to avoid crashing into a pole. Sitting in the drivers seat and actually controlling the car felt really foreign, yet kinda cool. I was smiling like an idiot again. After almost twenty minutes of just driving around the parking lot and trying not to crash, I (mostly) stopped the car so Dean could drive. 

Dean P.O.V.

I was proud of him. He did amazing considering it was his first time driving. As I walked around the car and over to the drivers side I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket. I pulled it out and read it. 

Charlie: Hey! I heard today was your first practice, do you mind if I come watch? Cas and I could sit in the stands and be your cheerleaders! 

I couldn't help but let out a slight laugh. I opened the door and sat down.

Dean: Sure! Do you need a ride?

Charlie: Nah I'm already in the neighborhood, I can walk but thanks!

Dean: Ok, Cas and I will be there in like fifteen minutes.

Charlie: K. See ya there!

I put my phone back in my pocket as I adjusted the mirror to my height again. Cas and I already planned yesterday to go right to the field after school so Bobby knows where we are. 

"Ready?" I asked as I turned to the still smiling Cas. I love his smile. He nodded in response and I drove out of the parking lot and started for Cherry park. 

Once we pulled into the long dirt driveway surrounded in cherry trees that lead to the parking lot, we waved at Charlie as we passed her. I parked the car in the middle of the lot and grabbed my jersey from the trunk. Damn I need to clean my car.. I slipped it over what I was already wearing cause it was cold. 

"You good? I got a blanket in the trunk if your cold." I asked Cas who was standing across from me, playing with his sleeves. I couldn't help but stare. 

"Oh. Uh.. No, I should be good, thanks." He uttered sheepishly. "I swear your car is a Tardis with wheels." He said with a laugh that made my stomach flip in a good way. 

"I know, its bigger on the inside." I replied with a smirk as I closed the trunk, he was still chuckling as Charlie stood beside him. 

"What'd I miss?" She asked as she looked at both of us suspiciously while still smiling. 

"Oh nothing, just a small Whovian moment." 

"Without me?" She now had a fake poudy face, we all broke out laughing in response. Within minutes the parking lot was occupied by cars and parents dropping there kids off who couldn't drive. I watched as a large black Chevy truck (Similar to my dads) drove down the path and park like an asshole taking two spots. I wasn't very surprised when Crowley jumped out, along with his girlfriend, Meg Masters. I felt Cas tug on my arm slightly, trying to get my attention. 

"You didn't tell me he was on your team!" He inquired pleadingly. 

"Sorry, he wont do anything. I promise." He just looked at me for a minute before turning his attention. I took his hand and watched him relax a little, Charlie started fangirling. Once we heard the coach's whistle we started walking down the hill, our hands still intertwined. We stopped in front of the stands when Crowley pasted us, glaring at us. I ignored it but I felt Cas tense up. "Its fine, ok? He wont do anything unless he wants to get his ass kicked." I said with a chuckle to lighten the mood but it didn't really help. 

"Ok, but go kick ass anyway. Don't miss." His smile stowed away all my previous feelings and just made me undoubtfully happy. I leaned down and kissed him, causing Charlie to let out a muffled screech. About a minute later we heard the coach whistle again. 

"Rodger that." And I let go of his hand and walked over to the home plate where everyone was standing. 

Castiel P.O.V.

"Come 'on!" Charlie said as she grabbed my hand and walked along the bleachers, eventually sitting down on the far side. I sat next to her and scoped out the field. "Hey Cas?" She asked, her voice slightly broken. 

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't've ditched you a couple years ago.."

"Don't apologize, you didn't ditch me. I pushed you away." I tried brushing it off like it was nothing. 

"Yea but I wasn't there when you needed a friend the most.."

"Charlie its fine, really, you didn't do anything wrong. Don't feel bad. Its fine, I'm fine. Ok?" After that it was just quiet for the next several minutes. We watched as everyone got into position onto the field, Dean was standing infield, Crowley, Zachariah and Alastair on outfield. 

"So you and Dean got close pretty quick, eh?" Charlie said, not taking her eyes off the field. 

"Yeah, I guess." 

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything but do you ever think your moving too fast? I mean, you guys met like a few weeks ago and your already technically living together." All of my other thoughts just dissolved into nothing, what if she's right? Are we moving too fast?  "Don't get me wrong, you two are the cutest couple I've ever met." I don't know how to respond so I didn't. All the players switched position so Dean was the catcher and Crowley was batting.. Crap.. I don't know who was pitching, but I was glad they were. When they let go of the ball pretty damn quickly it shot Crowley right in the crotch. Dean was beside himself, rolling on the ground laughing, along with a few other people on the team. Crowley was hunched over, he looked like he was crying. The coach ran over and half carried him to the dugout. Both Charlie and I couldn't control our laughter. The next hour and a half went by quickly, all my thoughts only consisted of.. Is Crowley near Dean?  and.. What if Charlie is right?  Days were becoming shorter so the sun was already setting. I was thankful that Meg sat on the other set of bleachers so she hadn't bothered us at all. When practice was over and everyone left for the parking lot, Dean came over to the stands where we were. 

"Hey!" He shouted as he got closer, smiling brightly that just made me want to forget about all my previous thoughts. I returned the smile, so did Charlie. "How'd I do?" 

"Incredible!" Both Charlie and I spoke at the same time, causing us all to laugh. After a couple minutes of small talk and jokes we heard a car horn. 

"That's my ride! Bye guys!" Charlie shouted as she started for the red punch buggy that parked not far from us. 

"Bye!" We watched as the small car left the parking lot and onto the road. 

"Come 'on CY, its getting cold out here." I said as I started for the car, smiling like an idiot. The bright orange sky reflected on the impala creating a perfect image, I would have to remember that so I could draw it later. Once we were both in the car, he turned to me again. 

"You up for going to Ellen's diner? Its Jo's shift tonight." 

"Sure!" And with that, we drove off. I've only been to the diner once but neither Ellen or Jo were there. It was like a ten minute drive from Bobby's but a twenty minute drive from the field so we were in the car awhile. We passed the time by playing Ispy and singing along to the radio. When we arrived, there wasn't many people here. We got out of the car and walked over to the entrance, I noticed the grass stains on his jeans. For some odd reason I couldn't help but smile at that. He opened the door for me and I felt my face burn, he noticed my awestruck and chuckled. 

Dean P.O.V.

"Dean! Cas! Its good to see you!" Jo shouted from the bar, we walked over and sat in front of her. 

"You too! How's today been?" I asked, shifting my seat a little. 

"Ugh, slow. Hardly had anyone today. How was practice?" 

"Good! You know Crowley? Well he got fucking owned tonight by Adam!" 

"Language, Dean!" Ellen shouted from the doorway as she walked in. 

"Ellen? I didn't know you had a shift tonight?" I asked innocently with a cheeky smile, trying to get her to forget about my choice of words. 

"I don't, I'm just checking in. Looks like I got here just in time too! You know swearing is bad!" My fake smile intensified. She walked closer to me and whispered. "Plus its unattractive." She walked away laughing. I think Cas heard her cause he was chuckling a little too, I just gave him a funny face as I took his hand and pulled him from the bar and over to a booth. "I take it you two haven't eaten yet?" She shouted from the kitchen. The both of us sat on opposite sides of the table. 

"You take it right!" I shouted after her in a fake accent causing not only Cas and Jo to laugh but a few strangers in other booths as well. I couldn't help but notice that Cas looked kinda troubled. I was about to ask but I decided to wait a little before jumping to conclusions. Jo came over to us and started a small conversation, after awhile I was sure that Cas had something on his mind. A few people just left so Jo went to go clean up the table as Ellen walked out of the kitchen and set a tray of food on our table, we both thanked her, she smiled in response. 

"I'll be out back doing inventory if you need anything. Behave yourselves!" She shouted as she started walking to the back room. Once she was gone I took the plate of fry's off the tray and set it between us. 

"So what's up?" I asked as I grabbed the ketchup bottle from my right. 

"Huh?" I could see the distress in his eyes. 

"I've known you long enough to know that you've got something on your mind." He didn't respond for a minute. 

"I don't know.. Do you ever think we're like.. Moving too fast?" He was looking down at his hands, fiddling with his sleeves again. 

"Do you?" I asked, watching him as he looked back up at me. His eyes shifted away within seconds. 

"What I think is the deal you made with Anna, once I healed I would go back.." I hated having to think about this. I don't want to think about this. "Well, I'm healed.." His voice was soft. 

"Do you want to go back?" He was hesitant to respond.

"Not really.. No." He had puppy dog eyes as he looked back up at me. 

"Then you don't have to! You can live with me, Sam and Bobby! I'm sure Gabriel can too! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew you were unsafe." I exclaimed as I took his hand from underneath the narrow table. 

"I-I don't know.." I noticed the bruises around his eyes and jawline were becoming a yellow-green color, signifying that they were healing. It was quiet for the next few minutes. I brushed my thumb over the palm of his hand, realizing it was no longer bandaged. 

"How is it?" I asked as I lifted his hand up from under the table, inspecting the deep red gash that didn't seem to be healing properly. 

"Better." His voice was stagnant. He looked worn out.. That was never good. 

"How are you?" 

"I don't know, just a little tired I guess." I watched him apprehensively before I caught Jo's attention and signaled for a couple boxes. A few minutes later she came back with two Styrofoam containers, I thanked her and started packing everything up. Once both Cas and I finished he said he had to go to the bathroom, he was about halfway across the room when the bell above the entrance rang and a few people walked in.. Crowley, Meg, Alastair and Zachariah.

"Oh would you look at that! My favorite punching bag is here!"  Crowley spat as he walked closer to Cas who backed into a table. I quickly walked over and stood between them. 

"You can leave now." I snapped at him, the only one in their group who's taller than me is Alastair so they don't intimidate me. 

"And its a matching set too." I was so close to hitting the snarky expression off his face. 

"Dean, are these guys giving you trouble?" Jo asked from the bar.

"No, its ok I can handle it."  I replied, never taking my eyes off the prick standing in front of me. "What do you want." 

"I know that you and your buddy Adam set up a prank to try and neuter me."

"I wasn't part of any prank but damn, I wish I was." I snarled. 

"Watch it boy, I have a little thing called leverage." He barked back. 

"What are you talking about?" He just gave me the stupidest smile and shifted his head to look at Cas.

"I happen to know your brother, the one named after Satan to be more specific. I also know that said Satan doesn't know that your a fucking fag. It would be a real shame if he were to find out.. Wouldn't it?" Shit.. I shoved him so he stumbled back into Zachariah. 

"You don't have proof." I retaliated angrily. He then pulled out his phone and searched on it for a second. My stomach churning at the thought of this. When he showed both of us the screen I almost lunged at him but Ellen walked in at just the right moment and held me back. "You sick bastard! I'll fucking kill you!" 

"Sorry but the only killing I see in this situation is Lucifer icing your fucking boy toy. Also, next time I suggest you cover your windows. Nobody wants to see that. "  

"All of you! Get out!" Jo shouted at the small group.

"Sorry hun, we're not going anywhere." Alastair replied. I just wanna punch that look right off his face. 

"Your gonna get the hell out of my aunts diner or I'll fucking sock you!" I roared as she let me go.

"That's enough Dean!" Ellen shouted. "I will call the police if you don't leave now." She demanded. Meg and Zach looked frightened but Crowley and Alastair were enjoying this. 

"Whatever, this place fucking blows anyway." And they all just left. It took me a minute to convince myself to not go after them and waste them. Once I somewhat managed to calm myself I turned around to see if Cas was alright. He was trembling, his face flushed with fear. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight to try and calm him down. 

"H-he's gonna sho-" I cut him off.

"Shush.. He wont do anything." He was shaking uncontrollably. 

"Lucifer's g-going to k-k-" His voice was becoming more broken as his eyes welled up. 

"Its gonna be fine, alright? Lucifer wont do anything. I promise." Jo and I shared concerned glances before I noticed almost everyone here was watching us. 

"Come 'on, I'll drive you two home." Ellen said as she wrapped an arm around us. "Jo, you know the drill." She nodded. I pulled away a little to see if he was okay to walk, I just decided to carry him anyway. I scooped him up so he was in my arms bridal style and walked towards the back door with Ellen. He was still shaking, I felt bad for this.. For all of this. He shouldn't have to deal with this stuff. When we reached the car I opened the backseat door and helped him in, then sat next to him. I wrapped my arm around him again so his head leaned on my shoulder. "Bobby and I will come back later tonight and get your car, ok?" Ellen said as she looked back at us through the mirror.

"K." It was quiet for a second. "Can you turn the radio on?" I asked as I leaned my head on Cas's.

"Sure." The car then filled with random music, I don't know what the name of the song was but I hoped it would help relax him. About ten minutes later we pulled into the salvage yard and parked next to the garage. I helped him out of the car again but this time he wanted to walk. His cheeks and eyes were red stained and puffy, the shaking continued and I noticed his legs seemed a little wobbly so I helped steady him. I could tell he was petrified right now, I don't blame him. We walked through the kitchens side door and I saw Sam sitting at the table doing homework. Ellen walked past us, probably to go find Bobby.

"Is Gabriel here?" I asked, when he looked up he seemed taken aback. 

"No, he went home a couple hours ago.. Cas are you alright?" When he didn't respond I did for him. 

"Not really, Sam do you mind staying with him for a minute? I just need to go talk to Bobby."

"Sure!" And with that I helped him into the living room and onto the couch.

"I'll be right back, okay?" He just nodded, Sam sat next to him and watched him worriedly. I walked through the hallway and over to the door that led into the garage. I closed the door behind me and walked closer to them before ranting. "We have a fucking problem." 

"Language, Dean!" Ellen snapped back sternly yet softer than before. 

"Sorry." I replied, Bobby rolled out from under the car he was working on and looked at both of us oddly. 

"So.. What happened exactly?" 

"Excuse my language but that dickbag Crowley threatened to show Lucifer a photo of the both of us and you know what would happen if he found out." My words came out a lot more rushed than I intended. Ellen scoffed a little at my choice of words again.

"Damnit. Where is he now?" 

"Inside with Sam." 

"Alright. Well first, we got to make sure he doesn't get anywhere near Lucifer or Uriel. Second, I know this might be hard for you but you guys have to keep your distance from Crowley until we figure this out. Ok?" 

"Ok." He then picked up the dirty rag from beside him and started wiping the grease off his hands. "Is that it? Are we not going to do anything else?!" I shouted confused.

"What else can we do? We don't have many other choices." I couldn't really believe what he was saying, I mean.. There HAS to be something else we can do, right? I just flounced out of the garage and back to the living room. When I entered the room and nobody was there I panicked a little. "SAM?" I shouted. 

"Over here!" He replied and I relaxed. I walked back down the hallway and toward the bathroom where he was leaning against the frame. He tipped his head directing inside where Cas was ralphing into the toilet. I walked over and kneeled beside him, grabbing the paper towels that were still on the counter from this morning. I ripped a piece off and wiped his mouth when he paused, then dropped it in the toilet. Sam left and both Bobby and Ellen stood in the doorway, looking concerned as Cas continued heaving. After a few minutes, Ellen left to go find ginger ale and Bobby spoke up. 

"I'm calling Michael." He dug out his phone and left the room. I was kinda confused why he would be calling him but I couldn't think about that right now. When the spewing subsided I wiped his mouth again and flushed the toilet. Once I was sure he was done I got up and ran to the kitchen, I grabbed a glass and walked back to the bathroom. I filled it up in the sink and handed it to him so he could rinse his mouth. He quietly thanked me as I helped him up. I guided him to the living room and laid him down on the couch again, this time I sat next to him. I pulled a blanket from behind the couch and laid it over him. Moments later Ellen walked in with ginger ale, a plate of crackers and a large metal bowl incase he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, she set them on the coffee table. His head rested on my lap as I ran my fingers through his hair, Sam was standing by the doorway continuously asking Ellen what happened. "He's on his way." Bobby announced quietly as he set his phone on the side table. Ellen had brought Sam out of the room to explain so he would stop asking. It was almost a half hour until Michael arrived, when he did- Bobby and Ellen talked to him outside of the room. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Minutes later he walked in and kneeled beside us. I don't think I've ever met him, not that I remember anyway. He looked a lot like Cas, blue eyes and the same dark hair, even though he was also pretty tall. 

"Hey Cas, how are you feeling?" He asked as he lifted the back of his hand to his forehead. 

"Nauseous." His voice lethargic.  

"Yea, its definitely not fun." It was quiet for a couple minutes after that. "Bud I know it seems pretty scary right now but I need you to know that non of us will let him get to you, ok?" He didn't respond for a minute or two. 

"Ok." There was another moment of silence. 

"Alright, I gotta go meet up with Anna. Call me if you need anything." He then mouthed the words 'thank you' to me before ruffling Cas's hair and leaving the room. He shifted his head a little so it was buried in the blanket. After Michael left, Sam went up to bed and Ellen and Bobby went to go pick up my car. Ellen went straight back home after that and Bobby came and sat down in one of the chairs in the living room. 

"You two wont be going to school tomorrow, todays been rough and I don't want you overstressing yourselves." He said in a whisper because Sam was just sleeping down the hall. We both nodded. After that he went back to his room for the night and the both of us just stayed here. I continued running my fingers through his hair until he fell asleep at around eleven. I tried not to wake him as I got up, picked him up bridal style again along with the bowl and walked upstairs into our room. I laid him on his side and set the bowl on the table, I then changed out of my grass stained clothes into clean ones and laid down next to him. Drifting away into sleep. 

[Morning]

When I woke up I felt Cas's arm draped around my waist, he was still asleep so I didn't move. Sunlight was seeping through the halfway closed curtains, leaking all the way across the room. He woke up not long after me so I didn't have to worry about bothering him as I went downstairs to use the bathroom. While I was down there I made a couple pieces of toast and got a fresh ginger ale to bring up to him. We woke up later than usual so Sam was already at school and Bobby was out in the garage. We pretty much just spent the rest of the day watching TV and not leaving my room until I went back down to get a water bottle. By now Sam was up in his room playing Xbox and Bobby was probably still outside. I walked through the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from the package next to the stove, noticing the gin on the shelf, I paused. I looked at it for a minute before I picked it up and started reading the label. 

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Bobby causally said as he walked in and opened the fridge. The sudden voice almost made me drop the bottle. "You gotta boy upstairs who really needs you and your thinking about drinking? I'm still trying to figure out how that makes any sense." 

"I wasn-" He just gave me a sarcastic face and closed the fridge. "Sorry." 

"Just.. Next time think about what your going to do before you do it." He said as he left the room and back into the garage. I put the bottle back down and picked up the water bottle, then went back upstairs. I opened the door and walked over to our little pillow fort that we made, tossing the water bottle into my nightstand. 

"Just so you know, your definitely not moving out now." I said with a laugh that he joined. He seemed to be doing a lot better than last night, which was good. Everything then went quiet except the faint sound of the TV on low volume. I don't know what was playing and it didn't really interest me so I turned my attention back to Cas who was drawing on a notepad. He was drawing a sketch of my car but this one looked really familiar. It took me a minute to try and remember that it was the reflection of the sunset from last night. As always, his drawings amazed me, they were always so detailed and shaded in ways I never would've even thought about. The rest of that night flew by, we ate our leftovers from yesterday and hid back up in our room, mentally preparing ourselves for tomorrow. Soon we were all in bed. My arm draped around him as we slept.


	11. Furthermore, It's Alright

Thursday, Dec. 22, 2016

Castiel P.O.V.

Its been a little over a month and a half since the incident with Crowley. On the outside I was completely chill, but on the inside I couldn't stop the biliousness. I'm still scared shitless of what would happen if Crowley ever sent Lucifer that photo. When I regained consciousness of the world, I realized I was sitting in my seat in English. I reached down and pulled my water bottle out of my backpack, I unscrewed the cap and sipped on it as I looked up. I noticed Dean was eyeballing me from across the room, he bit his lip sultry-like and winked at me causing me to spit my drink all over the table. My face started to burn as he fell out of his seat laughing, the entire class started looking at the both of us oddly. This was the reason why the teacher moved our seats. 

"Winchester, do you need to leave the room?" The teacher asked as he glared at the boy who was still struggling to control his laughter. 

"No Mr. Styne, I'm ok." He replied with a titter. I couldn't help myself from smiling like a twit. Styne just peered at both of us and went to get the familiar oversized cardboard cutout of Sherlock Holmes. He placed it in the middle of the room, blocking our view of each other, he's had to do this quiet often. When the rest of the chuckles from the class faded I subtly got up to retrieve a couple tissues to clean up my desk. When I reached the teachers desk, Mr. Styne just glared at me. I gave him a cheeky smile and held up a couple tissues in response, hoping he would let me be. He nodded and proceeded grading papers, the whole class was quietly reading so any noise I made would immediately get stares sent my way. When I passed Dean I casually placed a tissue on his head and kept walking back to my seat, laughing quietly to myself at Mr. Styne's failed attempt to get us to focus. As I sat down, I shifted and looked back at Dean to see him sticking his tongue out at me, I laughed again and cleaned my desk. Once my desk was dry I just held onto the wet tissue's, not wanting to get up again. My book was uninteresting to me so I just opened it and pretended I was reading. I drifted away into my mind again and thought about the past month. Crowley has been leaving us alone for the most part.. Aside from a shove in the hall every now and then. Dean keeps insisting on telling someone about it, but I don't see the point. We all spent Thanksgiving at Bobby's and by 'all' I mean Bobby, Dean, Sam, Gabriel, Ellen, Jo, Ash (Jo's boyfriend), Michael, Anna and myself. It certainly was a full house. Bobby and Ellen actually decided when they're getting married! They're planning on waiting until spring, probably around April. A couple weeks ago Bobby got a call from the local PD, they said that John was arrested for homicide. It freaked us all out a little bit but it was also kinda relieving. They also said that Bobby will be able to take full custody of Sam and Dean within the next few weeks. Lucifer and Uriel apparently haven't even been trying to look for me. I don't have words to describe how grateful I am for that. Gabriel moved in with us, he shares a room with Sam. Ellen is also currently moving in, but not Jo because she just recently got her own apartment. I can safely say that it has been a busy month. I must've pondered off again for the hundredth time today because the bell just rang. People jumped out of their seats in anticipation due to it being the last day before Christmas break. As everyone was leaving the room, Mr. Styne pulled Dean to the side.. Again. In just the few months that he's been here.. I guess you could say he's become quite a trouble student for the school. It was cute though. When our teacher was done scolding him on how 'distracting the other students is crucial to their education' he walked over to me and slung his arm over my shoulder. "Can we just ditch?" He basically hollered, I looked back up at him sarcastically. 

"I heard that!" Mr. Styne shouted at us he sat back down at his desk, still scowling at us. 

"Sorry!" Dean said almost apologetically, once we were out of the room and out of hearing range he let out a muffled "not really". 

"Do you really wanna risk what happened last time?" I said as I dramatically tipped my head back to look up at him. Last month we decided to skip a whole day of classes and went to the nearest apple orchard. Its definitely on my list of favorite moments despite getting caught and being grounded for the rest of the week. 

"Definitely." He countered as he turned his head to look at me clearly, then leaned down and kissed me with a wide smile. 

"Boys, shouldn't you be getting to class?" Mr. Roman (our history teacher) said guilefully as he peered through the partly open door to his room. 

"We should!" I replied cheekily as I glared at Dean playfully. 

"Yeah, yeah." He said as he moved his arm from my shoulder and took my hand, then hauled me to the science lab. We stopped in front of the door, other students walked past us and into the room. "Pick you up for lunch?" I nodded.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to walk YOU to class." I said as I looked up at him roguishly. 

"Psst, keep dreaming." His voice frolicsome. I just rolled my eyes and pulled on the hem of his jacket to get him to my height as I kissed him, then walked into the lab with a smile plastered across my face. As I sat down on the high stool at my assigned spot, Lisa Braeden (Also known as the school slut, and my lab partner) turned to me. 

"You guys are soo cute together!" She said in a sotto voice as the teacher started todays lesson. 

"Yea," I replied shortly. Despite everything that's happened the past couple months, I still don't really like talking to people, or socializing in general. I tried to ignore that fact that she was still looking at me and focused on the teacher. 

"OK class! Does anyone know how to dissect a frog?" Dr. Gaines shouted as he held up a box full of the slimy creatures. The whole class made disgusted noises and shook their heads. Uck, this is going to be gross.. 

Dean P.O.V.

I died in math. Seriously, what the hell is a 'slope'?! Rise over run my ass. Mrs. Tran, aka Kevin's mom, aka the junior math teacher, must've seen me struggling because she walked over and kneeled beside my desk. 

"Need any help?" She asked as she looked over my empty paper. 

"Yeah.. I don't know what to do." I replied bluntly. She sighed and attempted to show me how to find the 'slope' for the thousandth time. As always, I had no idea what she was even saying. 

"Dean, your grade in my class is just above failing.. I think its time you should start thinking about getting a tutor." 

"A tutor?" I was kinda shocked that my grade was that bad. 

"Yea, someone who could help yo-"

"I know what a tutor is. But who would it be?" 

"Well, you could find someone with passing grades and is willing to help or you could always hire a professional t-"

"I NOMINATE CASTIEL JAMES NOVAK!" I shouted, causing the rest of the class to start chuckling and the teacher to scowl at me. 

"If he's ok with it then that's fine." My face then grew the worlds biggest grin. "But just make sure to reserve that time for ONLY tutoring." She added as she jokingly glared at me. 

The rest of that class went by surprisingly faster than usual. When the bell rang I quickly packed up my stuff and rushed out of the room to go pick him up for lunch. When I made it to the science lab, he wasn't there. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and took it out. 

Castiel: I'm in the bathroom. 

I put my phone back in my pocket and headed down the hall towards the bathroom wondering if something bad happened. As I opened the door I saw Cas hovering over the sink washing his hands repeatedly. 

"Everything alright?" I asked wearily as I went to stand next to him.

"I just dissected Kermit the frog! No everything is not alright." He replied quickly and lightheartedly. I let out a chuckle and turned the faucet off, then grabbed a paper towel and handed it to him. 

 

"Your lucky. This morning we had to touch owl shit." After I said this he looked like he was about to puke. He moved closer to the stall while holding a hand over his stomach and squinting. "Sorry." I said in a buoyant yet disquiet manner. The bathroom door then opened again and Benny walked in. In the past month both Cas and I have created this sort of circle of friends. First it was Charlie then Tessa, Kevin, Garth and Benny. 

"Hey guys!" Ben said as he walked over to the sink, I just tipped my head in greeting. By now Cas was fully in the stall, crouching beside the toilet. "Frogs, eh?" He just made a disgusted noise. "I heard they're serving Thai food for lunch.." Ben countered jokingly but it made him actually vomit this time. I took a couple more paper towels and kneeled beside him. 

"You guys suck." Cas let out between purges. Benny continued chuckling but I just smiled apprehensively. 

"I have to go meet up with Garth, hope you feel better!" Benny said as he left the bathroom, still slightly laughing. It was then quiet for a minute.

"I think I'll take you up on that ditching offer." Cas said as the regurgitating ended. 

"Its okay, I'm sure Bobby will understand." I replied as I handed him another paper towel. After a few more minutes of making sure his stomach was settled, I helped him up and caught him by surprise when I scooped him up and carried him out to the car. 

"I don't think that's a good idea.. I might puke on you.." 

"When Sam was little he did it all the time so I'm used to it." I retorted with a laugh that he joined. The halls where mostly empty because people were either in the café or left for lunch. When we reached the car, I set him back down so I could unlock the doors.

Castiel P.O.V.

As Dean set me down I took my backpack from my lap and held onto it. The heavy snow that fell from the sky was creating a white cap on top of the impala. When we both entered the car I set my bag in the floor and rummaged through it, trying to find my water bottle. I unscrewed the cap again and gurgled it to clean my mouth a little, then spit it out on the ground. I closed the door and looked back at Dean who was watching me. 

"What?" I asked innocently as I put my water bottle back in my bag. 

"Nothing." He turned away smiling. Hmm.. I just squinted at him in confusion. Once the windshield was clear of snow, we started for Bobby's house. The ride was mostly quiet, aside from the radio that just faintly played random Neighborhood songs. When we pulled into the long dirt driveway that was now covered in the familiar white fluff, Bobby's truck was pulling out. We stopped next to each other, both Dean and Bobby rolled down their windows so they could hear each other. 

"What are you two doing home so early?" He asked as he looked at the both of us suspiciously. 

"Kermit trauma." Dean replied without hesitation and it made me laugh. 

"What?" Bobby looked bewildered for a second.

"I wasn't feeling very well after we started cutting open the Muppets." I answered as I leaned forward a little so Bobby could see me. 

"Ok, well, I'm going over to help Ellen pack. I should be back in about an hour. Sam and Gabriel are getting out earlier today, I want you to pick them up. Alright?" We both nodded. "No fooling around!" And with that he left. Dean looked back over to me before we continued down the driveway. It looks like Bobby just snowplowed because there were huge piles of snow surrounding the pathway. When he parked the car and we both got out I paused, 

"Wait." He stopped and looked at me confused. "I think I dropped something." I causally crouched down and pretended I was looking for something as I scooped up some snow. Once he rounded the car I hid the snowball behind me and stood up. 

"What wa-" He was interrupted by the impact of snow on his face. "You didn't.. You did." I just stood there smiling like an idiot while laughing. "Oh, this means war!"  He shouted playfully as he reached down to get a handful, but I dodged it. The both of us continued chucking globs of snow at each other while laughing hysterically and hiding behind old broken down cars.  "You can run but you cant hide!" He shouted as I ducked behind an old van, I tried to control my laughter so he wouldn't hear me. My hands were freezing as I picked up another handful. "Come out, come out wherever you are!" His voice sounded closer this time. I readied myself as I heard his footsteps become closer, when he turned the corner I propelled the snowball in his direction but missed. I started running backwards to keep an eye on him but as suspected I slipped on an ice patch and crashed into a snowbank, I tried to get myself up with my elbows but they kept sinking deeper into the snow. Next thing I know Dean was following me and he too slipped and fell, landing on top of me. 

"Careful, there's ice." I said softly while grinning from ear to ear. 

"Really? I didn't know.." We both started chuckling, it was cold enough so we could see each other's breath. Our faces only inches apart as we locked into each others eyes. My backpack was jamming into my lower back but I couldn't find it in me to care. "Oh.. I forgot to mention, apparently I need a tutor.. Would you like to fulfill that position?" His voice was slightly gruff and it made the butterflies in my stomach riot again.  

"Mm, I didn't know you were into roleplay." I watched as his mouth dropped and I couldn't contain my laughter. "I'm kidding!" I managed to get out betwixt the laughs that escaped me. "Which class?" 

"Math.." He still seemed a little shocked but his face was still lit up. 

"Alright." I replied as I looked up at him with a wide smile, locking eye contact again. Honestly, I could stay here for hours. When he started leaning down I stopped him, even though I didn't really want to. "I wouldn't do that if I were you.. I still have barf breath." I remarked with a chortle. 

"Noted." He replied with a similar laugh. "Come 'on, lets go inside. Its too cold out here." He uttered as he stood up and held a hand out for me. I took it and stood up, revealing that both my back and my backpack were soaking wet. 

"I call dibs on the shower!" I stated as I slid across the ice, trying not to fall. 

Dean P.O.V.

I watched as he kept sliding across the ice that coated the path back to the driveway, he looked happy. I know the past month hasn't been especially easy for him because of Crowley, so it was nice to see him enjoying himself again. I tried to stay as close as I could so if he fell I could catch him. When we entered the house I just set camp in our room while he took a shower, thankfully I don't have many asshole teachers so I didn't get any homework over break. 

I was about halfway through some random Sci-fi show when the door opened and Cas walked in wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. His V-cut was clearly visible and I couldn't help but stare. 

"What 'cha watching?" He asked as he walked over to the bureau. 

"I.. Uhh.." I found myself incapable of finishing my sentence as he turned around and leaned against the bureau, looking at me with a wide smile. "Uhh, its just some.. Some Sci-fi show.." I brushed it off and looked away trying to hide my bashfulness, I don't think I was doing very well though. 

"Oh my, is the great Dean Winchester.. Nervous?" He emphasized that last bit as he strolled over to the edge of the bed where I was sitting. 

"Pfft, you wish." I countered as I stowed my mousiness and placed both my hands on each side of his waist to pull him closer. "Relaxed is my middle name!" 

"Really now?" He had a one sided smirk as he leaned down and kissed me. My heart started racing. I slowly moved an elbow behind me a bit for support as I leaned back a little, Cas leaning forward so we were almost lying on the bed. Our mouths locked- similar to the way our gaze was not long ago. After about a minute I pulled away and looked at him with a seductive grin.

"Hmm, your breath smells good.. What is that?" He just smiled wildly as he leaned in closer.

"Spearmint." We both had impish smiles dancing around our features. I slowly stood up as I embraced him again. Amidst the both of us imperiously competing for supremacy, we gradually made our way to the other side of the bed. Plummeting onto it, I was now on top of him. The familiar butterflies that violently beat their wings on the walls of my stomach felt potent. "Um.. De.. Dean." Cas expressed in-between the impact of our mouths.  

"Yea?" I spoke against his lips- just barely moving. 

"My towel may have fallen off.." His eyes just slightly crossed as he looked up into mine. 

"And?" The both of us smiled defiantly. My left hand was planted next to his head to hold me above him as my right clasped onto the side of his face. We just stayed there for a good minute or two, becoming adrift in each others eyes. 

"I cant remember.. Did Bobby say no fooling around?" He uttered playfully. 

"Its possible." I retorted mischievously, leaning down just the slightest bit and detaining his mouth with mine. My right hand moving from his head down his side, eventually finding a soft spot around the edge of his pelvis. Whilst rubbing tiny circles with my thumb I heard him let out an unsuspected moan and I chuckled a little. "You good?" I asked as I pulled away a little bit, smiling like a dweeb. 

"Shut up." He lightly pulled on the back of my head and kissed me. I couldn't help myself from smirking around his lips. 

"Ready?" I whispered against him once we pulled away, he nodded steadily. My heart was spiking as I gingerly made my way downward. 

Bobby P.O.V.

I kept an eye out on the back of my truck to make sure none of the boxes fell out. Ellen was in her own truck, not far behind me. I was about three minutes away from home when I heard my phone ringing, I picked it up and read the name, it was Sam. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi Bobby, uhh.. Didn't you say Dean and Cas were suppose to come pick us up?" 

"They didn't?" 

"No. We called but neither of them are answering." I sighed in vexation knowing that they were probably doing something they shouldn't be. 

"Alright, I'm on my way now." 

"Ok." And I hung up, then scrolled through my contacts to find Ellen. 

"Hey hun. I have to go pick Sam and Gabriel up from school so if I'm not home that's why."

"Ok, I forgot my coat at the diner yesterday so I'm taking a detour. You still might get there before me." 

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Bye." I put my phone back down on the seat and watched for cars behind me as I turned around. Their middle school was closer to my house than the high school so it didn't take long to get there. When I pulled into the school's parking lot I saw the two younger boys sitting on the curb playing with something in the snow. I parked next to them and unlocked the doors. 

Sam P.O.V.

"I bet they're doing drugs!" I exclaimed as both Gabe and I entered the truck. 

"What?!" Bobby almost shouted as he turned to face the both of us confoundedly. 

"Haven't you noticed that they've been spending a lot of time alone? Or getting stressed easily? Also irritation? My health teacher said those are signs of substance abuse!" 

"Nobody's taking drugs alright! Its just been a genuinely stressful month and I'm sure they're just messing around." Bobby responded as he started driving, both Gabe and I shared evil grins knowing exactly what he was talking about. Within minutes we arrived home, Ellen wasn't here yet. It stopped snowing about a half-hour ago but Dean's car was still buried. On our way inside Gabriel slipped and fell into a snowbank, causing all three of us to break out laughing. I stuck my hand out to help him up, he took it. 

"Come 'on hurry up! I wanna see this." I almost shouted as we ran inside after Bobby. When we entered the house Gabriel and I rushed to our room and waited in the doorway for the show to begin. 

"BOYS I WANT YOU DOWNSTAIRS, NOW!" Bobby shouted from the living room doorframe. We all heard a small thud, causing both Gabriel and I to break out laughing. Bobby just jokingly scowled at us as he crossed his arms and waited for the two to come down. Seconds later we heard two sets of footsteps rush toward the staircase. Both our older brothers then staggered halfway down the stairs with fake cheeky smiles. "Living room." Bobby declared. I noticed that Cas's face was burning red and that his shirt was clearly inside out. Soon they were cowering on the couch as Bobby just glared at them for a minute. "I ask you to do two things and only two, yet you did neither." He was interrupted by the door opening, Ellen walked through. 

"What's going on?" She asked as she walked over to him. 

"Boys, would you like to explain?" Bobby professed. 

"We didn't do what he asked.." Dean answered with his head still slightly down.

"What did I ask?" 

"You asked us to pick them up from school, we didn't. You also asked us not to fool around, we did." Bobby then leaned over and whispered something to Ellen, it must've been about us because she then started walking towards us. 

"Come 'on you two, lets give them some privacy." She said as she came into our room and closed the door.

Castiel P.O.V.

Ellen just left the room to go talk to Sam and Gabriel so it was just Bobby, Dean and I. 

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you two, I really am but you need to understand that your both still under eighteen. Its just not appropriate for you to be doing these things." Bobby opined sincerely. 

"Sorry.." Both Dean and I spoke at the same time. I looked down and realized that my shirt was inside out and I think my pants were too, probably because I put them on so fast. 

"I'm not grounding you or anything because its vacation but I am goin to set one rule. You both need to keep your door open at all times, do I make myself clear?" 

"Yeah." Again, we spoke at the same time. Once Bobby left the room Dean let out a groan and collapsed fully onto the couch, I chuckled. 

 

 

The rest of that night was quiet, so was the next day, and the day after that. It was now Christmas eve. It was almost 11pm and it was just barely snowing, just spits here and there. Bobby and Ellen were in the kitchen, Sam and Gabriel sitting in front of the TV that was playing old Christmas movies, Dean and I curled up on the couch. His head rested on my lap as I held one of my algebra 2 textbooks in front of us. In just the past two days we've gone over almost every topic he had a struggle with. 

"What's the hardest math problem you've ever had?" Dean asked as he tipped his head back to look up at me. I just gave him a one sided smirk as I reached down and grabbed my calculus textbook out of my backpack. I opened it to one of the bookmarked pages and started reading off one of the problems.

"A particle moves along the x-axis with the acceleration given by a(t) = 1 / √(3t+1) m/s² and has velocity (4/3) m/s at time t=0. Find the displacement and the distance traveled by the particle during the interval of time 1 ≤ t ≤ 5." By now, both Dean and Gabriel's jaws dropped. I couldn't help myself from laughing at their reaction. 

"Displacement in x axis = x(t)=2/3 (t+2/9*(3t+1)^(3/2))-4/27 distance traveled by particle during 1 ≤ t ≤ 5 is 296/27 meter ~ 10.96 meter?" Sam answered so casually it made me almost drop the book. All three of us were staring at him wondrously. 

"How the fuc-" Gabriel started but Ellen interrupted. 

"Language!" She poked her head out of the doorway and glowered at him. "Shouldn't you guys be heading to bed soon anyway?"  

"Pssh, what you talkin' bout?" Sam countered as he rolled on his back so he was laying on the floor. 

"She's right, its getting late." Bobby added as he entered the room and wrapped an arm around her waist. Dean closed his eyes and made a really loud snoring noise, causing all of us to laugh. "Come 'on, everyone up to bed!" He shouted, still laughing. I set my books on top of my backpack and watched as Dean lazily rolled off the couch, landing to the floor. Sam and Gabriel left to go to their room while Dean and I sluggishly made our way to ours. Ellen turned the TV off and Bobby turned out the lights behind us, we heard the click of our younger brothers door shut as we were walking up the stairs. 

"Race?" He sought as he looked at me playfully. 

"You'll win, I already know." I replied with a chortle. 

"Awe, that's not the spirt!" He added as he scooped me up. 

"I still don't understand how you can do that so easily, I weigh like 100 pounds!" 

"I'm Batman, that's how!" He retorted as he skipped the top step. 

Dean P.O.V.

We were both smiling at each other like a couple 'a dorks. When we reached our room, I pushed the door open with my elbow and kicked it shut when we entered. 

"Door open!" Bobby whisper shouted from across the hall. I rolled my eyes and put Cas down to open the door. Once I opened it, I dramatically turned around, took a step and collapsed onto the bed. I was anxious for morning because one, the whole family's coming over, and two, Bobby let me in on a secret a couple days ago.. Something that apparently him, Ellen, Jo, Michael and Anna have been working on for awhile now. They're planning to announce it as a gift tomorrow morning (Christmas) to Cas and Gabe. I've tried to not think about it much because I don't want it to accidentally slip out. I just cant wait to see their reaction. The bed was right against the wall so I kicked the light switch with my foot, causing the room to black out aside from the little light that leaked from the ceiling-lamp above the staircase. I could still see the blue in his eyes even in the dark and I became incapable of moving my gaze. He caught on to my wonderstruck and grinned. I swear his smile is contagious because every time I see it, I cant help myself from doing the same. I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Within minutes we both fell asleep.


	12. Advancing Toward Day Zerø

Sunday, Dec. 25, 2016

Dean P.O.V. [Morning]

I was awoken by two very annoying and very obnoxious younger boys who were jumping and shaking us to wake up. 

"Wake up!" Both Sam and Gabriel pleaded as they ripped the covers off the bed. I opened my eyes and looked towards the window, the sun was still just struggling to rise above the horizon. 

"Ugghh, five more minutes." I buried my face back in a pillow. 

"Nope!" 'Thing number 1' then started dragging my feet off the bed so I eventually fell onto the ground. The beige shagged carpet that covered the floor felt warm compared to the rest of the room. 

 

"Do you guys even still believe in Santa?" I listened as Cas asked from his sitting position on the side of the bed. 

"No, but there's still candy." 'Thing number 2' replied bluntly, causing 'Thing number 1' to laugh.

"Come 'on," Sam said as he took Gabriel's hand and directed him out of the room. "Wake up you two!" He shouted one last time before they headed towards Bobby and Ellen's room. I stayed in my fetal position on the floor as Cas sluggishly made his way from around the bed. He looked at me for a second and let out a snicker as he swiftly picked me up, carrying me over his shoulder. 

"Whoa.." I was surprised because I didn't know he could do that. 

"Don't underestimate my powers as Robin." He commented with another chortle. He then proceeded out of the room and towards the commotion that came from Bobby and Ellen's room. "MERRY CHRISTMAS! I COME BEARING GIFT!" Cas shouted as he dropped me onto their bed, we all broke out laughing. 

Ellen P.O.V.

I was really happy to see everyone lighthearted, I was also excited for the rest of the day. 

"Merry Christmas, hun." I said as I kissed Robert with a cheerful smile. 

"Merry Christmas." He replied, I noticed both Sam and Gabriel were dramatically covering their eyes.

Soon everyone transitioned downstairs, Robert was in the kitchen heating up cinnamon rolls and Sam, Cas, Dean and Gabriel were sitting cross-legged on the floor opening presents. Jo, Anna and Michael are currently on their way. Within about an hour, everyone was finished unwrapping and eating so we were bundling up to go shovel the driveway. I made sure everyone was at least wearing hats, gloves and scarfs. Dean made a fuss about the scarf but Gabriel somehow convinced him to wear it. Robert and I took the far end of the driveway, Dean and Cas closer to the middle and Sam and Gabriel closer to the house. Amidst scraping the ice I looked over my shoulder and saw Dean and Cas playing around in the snow, throwing it at each other. I couldn't help myself from giggling a little as one of them slipped and fell, dragging the other down with them. Soon the driveway was clear, Anna and Michael arrived first, then Jo. Everyone was back inside, wet gloves, hats and scarfs drying on the staircase railing. 

Castiel P.O.V.

As soon as Michael and Anna arrived, both Gabe and I suffocated them into a hug. I can safely say that in the past month or so, the four of us have gotten a lot closer. 

"Merry Christmas guys!" Michael greeted as they entered the living room where everyone was sitting. We all returned the greeting. Just a couple minutes later, Jo arrived. It was a very packed house. "You guys might want to sit down for this." Mike said as he took a wrapped object out from behind his back. Both Gabe and I shared confused glances as we sat down on the couch, Dean and Jo sat next to me and Sam next to Gabe. 

 

"Open the card first!" Anna half shouted in excitement. Mike then handed a red envelop to us, Gabriel took it. Once he opened it he held it front of both of us to read it. 

 

Dear Castiel & Gabriel, 

I know the past couple years haven't exactly been cherishable, I cant imagine the weight on your shoulders from having to deal with everything that's happened. I apologize for not being there for you as much as I should have been, but that's going to change. I promise. I have spent the past year and a half working and saving up so I could do this, and not one part of me regrets it. - Michael

We all love you very much and we just want you to know that neither of you have to worry about feeling unsafe or in danger anymore. Michael, Bobby, Ellen, Joanna and I all pitched in somehow to make this possible, it was difficult, but worth it. - Anna

Now enough with the suspense, open it! We're all waiting to see you reaction! 

Love, Michael, Anna, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Sam and Dean.

 

Confused and anxious I looked back at Mike and Anna, Michael was now crouching beside us as he held out a thin rectangular wrapped object, he then handed it to me. I had to say, a part of me was kinda scared as I wearily unwrapped it. It soon revealed a manila envelope, oh my god.. I slipped the papers out of it and held them in a way were we could both read them. In seconds I felt the couch shift as Gabe jumped off to hug Michael.

"Thank you!!" He shouted. I didn't know what to do.. It was like I couldn't move. I kept reading it over and over again but for some reason it didn't feel real.. It didn't feel like I was holding custody forms signed by Michael. My heart suddenly jumped when I was pulled out of shock by Dean who was rubbing a hand on my back. Mike then got up from his crouching position and sat next to me, pulling me into a hug. I didn't want to cry, I mean.. What's the point in crying? Nothing bad happened.. But for some reason, I did anyway. I leaned my head on his shoulder, finally allowing all of this to sink in. Between the small muffled sobs that escaped me, I couldn't see- only hear everyone else join into a group hug. Minutes went by until I finally managed to collect myself. 

"Thank you.." My voice was a lot quieter than I intended. 

"There's also one other thing.. Of course I'm going to wait until tomorrow because cops need breaks too, but I'm going to call them and tell them everything. Both Uriel and Lucifer will be arrested and then you guys wont even have to think about them anymore." Despite still having a part of me that cant really comprehend this happening, both Gabriel and I smiled uncontrollably. 

We all spent the next few hours watching more Christmas movies while munching on cookies and other baked stuff. Sam, Gabriel and Anna were all getting dressed to go outside and build snowmen. Jo, Michael, Dean and I were hanging out in the kitchen while Bobby and Ellen continued watching movies. 

"Truth or dare?" Jo asked as she leaned against the fridge. 

"Truth." Mike answered as he leaned against the counter, facing her.  

"Hhmm, have you ever.. You know.. Had sex?" 

"Possibly.. What about you? Have you?" They never broke contact and it made both Dean and I start chuckling under our breath. "What are you two laughing about? Its not like you've ever done it." Immediately both Dean and I expressed cheeky smiles to hide our guilt. "No way.." Mike said half out of shock half amused, both of them were now starring at us surprised. Err, this is awkward..

"Don't worry, I've already given them the talk." Bobby remarked as he strolled into the room with a smug smile. Jo and Michael started laughing hysterically as Dean dramatically rolled his eyes. "Alright! Everyone out! This kitchen is reserved for cooking for the rest of the day." After slight protesting, we all moved back into the living room. Eventually most of us passed out from waking up too early but woke up when it was time to eat, after that we watched Polar Express. Soon the day was almost over and people where heading back home. Dean and I feel asleep on the couch, Sam and Gabriel on the armchair. 

[Morning]

The next day came in a flash. I was siting on the staircase waiting for Michael's call. He just called the police to tell them everything. He's already at the house waiting for them. I don't know why.. But I'm scared shitless right now. It was still pretty early in the morning so everyone was still asleep, or so I thought. When Bobby started down the staircase it kinda startled me. 

"Are you alright?" He asked as he sat down next to me. 

"Yeah, Yeah I'm fine. Its just, Michael called them.." 

"That's a good thing though, so why are you worried?"

"I don't know." I looked back down at my phone in anticipation. 

"It'll be fine, all of this will just blow over and be done with. Ok?" I just nodded. "Do you want breakfast? I can make some eggs or heat up some leftover cinnamon rolls."

"I'm good, but thank you." 

"Ok, let me know if you change your mind." He countered as he got up and moseyed off to the kitchen. It was just minutes later that my phone began to ring, I quickly answered.   

"Cas?" I listened to Mike's distressed tone.

"Yea?!"

"I need you to give the phone to Bobby."

"Why? What happened?" I was starting to feel a little sick to my stomach as I thought of what could be wrong.

"Everything is fine.. I just need you to give him the phone.. Now." I knew he was lying. I quickly rushed to the kitchen and handed Bobby the phone. 

"Hello?" Seconds later his expression changed dramatically. Something was very wrong. "Cas, go upstairs for a minute." His voice was more concerned. 

"Can you just tell me what happened?" I was now pleading. 

"Just go upstairs. I need to talk to him alone for a minute." Clearly nobody was going to answer me. I felt like I was going to throw up, but instead I started choking up emotions that I tried to hide. I rushed up the stairs feeling that deep pit in my stomach. As I was on my way to our room I saw Dean sluggishly making his way to the bathroom. 

"Hey, what's wrong?!" He seemed taken aback. I didn't answer as I continued toward our room, failing to hide that I was crying like a little kid. I pushed the door open with my elbow and leaned against the wall, sinking to the ground. "Cas?! What happened?" He implored as he sat down next to me, my face was buried in my knees so I couldn't see him. 

Dean P.O.V.

"I-I don't know! They're not telling me what happened.." His words were muffled. I immediately remembered what he was talking about. 

"Do you want me to go talk to them?" I asked as I wrapped an arm around him in reassurance, he just nodded slightly. "I'll be right back, ok?" He nodded again. I was kinda skeptical about leaving him right now but it was clear that something was going on. I quickly rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen where Bobby was just hanging up the phone. "What happened?" He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the mudroom, I looked at him confused.

"I need you to stay calm.." I nodded, fuck.. Something is really wrong.. "When the police went to arrest Uriel and Lucifer.. They got Uriel but Lucifer escaped, and he knows everything. He knows that Michael now has custody of them. They're out looking for him now." God Damnit why do bad thing always happen?! I felt my insides churning. "I'm gonna need your help telling them." Fuck. This cant seriously be happening right now?! I just let out a sigh in frustration as I paced back and forth a little bit. 

"Alright." I stormed out of the room causing the door to slam shut louder than I intended. "Damnit!" I whisper shouted again, even more frustrated. As I skipped up the stairs, Ellen walked past me and asked what was wrong. All I did was point towards the kitchen where Bobby is and continued back to our room. I carefully opened the door and looked to see where he was. He was sitting in the same spot as before, loosely hugging his knees as he stared off into space. 

"They didn't catch them.. Did they?" His voice was stagnant. I just walked over and sat next to him in a similar position.   

"Only Uriel.." He shifted his head to look at me. "Lucifer.. Well, he ran.." I paused for a minute. "It doesn't even matter though. He doesn't know where you are and its going to stay that way. They're gonna find him and arrest him. So don't worry about it, ok?" His head was resting on his knees as he looked up at me, mine was tipped a little so we were facing each other. I noticed his face was still a little red and puffy, I felt so bad for all of this.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes." I didn't even hesitate to respond. 

"Okay.." 

"Do you?" All he did was shrug. "Oh snap out of it would you?!" I exclaimed as I got up and held a hand out for him. He looked confused at first but eventually took it, allowing me to help him up. I hadn't noticed how much he was shaking before, its very obvious now. I pulled him closer and hugged him. "It'll be fine." I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince anymore.. I directed him out of the room and down the stairs. By now, everyone was awake. I guided him to the kitchen where everyone else was. Bobby was explaining all of this to both Sam and Gabe as Ellen was on the phone, as soon as she noticed us she signaled Cas over to her. He walked over and she wrapped her open arm around him in a hug.

"Ellen and I might have to go to the police station later today to sort all of this out, but if you want us to stay we can just call them back.."  Bobby said as he finished informing both our younger brothers. Gabriel seemed to be taking it pretty cool, he certainly wasn't as worried as Cas.. Probably because he didn't have it the same. 

"If you have to go, its fine." Cas replied inactively as he sat down in one of the chairs at the table. Out of instinct I immediately sat next to him and tried to pull him out of his morose state. 

After a couple hours of trying to cheer him up and phone calls from the local PD, Bobby and Ellen decided to go to the station after all. Sam and Gabriel just left to go to the Gas n' Sip down the street, Cas and I were camped out in the living room. At first sight it may seem like a normal Monday afternoon.. But no. Despite the fact that its very unlikely that he even knows where Cas is, I ain't taking no fucking chances. You see.. We're gonna Home Alone this bitch. I've warned Sam and Gabe about the alarm behind both the front and back doors. They're gonna have to do the secret knock that I've made in order to come in. All the windows are locked and one of my old baseball bats rested next to the couch where we are. Even Cas thinks its a little much but hey! Better safe than sorry. At first he didn't seem very scared.. Just.. Sorta depressed. But now he was showing his emotions clearer. I was faintly humming 'Sweater Weather' as his head rested on my lap, I could feel him quivering. A metal bowl sat on the side table next to us in case of emergency. To be honest, I have a really bad feeling about this. I mean.. In almost every movie its when they're alone that something bad happens.. I just hope they come home soon. 

"Do you ever think about wanting to live somewhere else?" I asked, trying to distract any and all thought. I continued running my fingers through his hair. 

"What do you mean?" He inquired as he looked up at me. 

"I don't know.. Is there a place that you just wish you could live or at least visit?" 

"Hmm," He paused for a minute. "New Hampshire." 

"Really?" 

"Yea, its just something about that state that seems.. Calm." This was interesting to me because I never would've guessed that. "What about you?" 

"Hmm.. I mean, Rio's pretty cool." I replied with a chuckle. Just seconds later we heard the sound of a window shattering. The both of us jumped up in surprise, I quickly grabbed the bat and stood in front of him. My heart was racing but I guess I shouldn't be complaining because it wasn't my abusive brother that came through the hall and stomped into the living room. He was actually really terrifying as he continued towards us. When he got close enough I swung the bat and smacked him right in the face only causing him to stumble backwards. "Run!" I shouted as I listened to his footsteps rush out of the room, I followed while never taking my eyes off Lucifer who was now back in charging mode. We both sprinted out the back door and into the yard, the alarm I set was blaring. "Keep going! I'll hold him off!" I shouted again. 

"What?! No!" He stopped and looked at me pleadingly. 

"JUST GO!" I nudged him towards the forest a little so he would go, he was hesitant for a second but went as soon as Lucifer got closer. I turned my attention away from Cas who was dashing into the forest and back to the devil who was laughing hysterically. 

"I wasn't planning on harming you. But I think you just changed my mind." He roared as he lunged forward but I blocked it with the bat. "You know, I'm not going to kill your little fuck buddy over there. No. I'm going to do much worse." I swung the bat again but missed, my heart was racing at an unhealthy speed. "I'm going to make him wish he was dead."

"Just shut the fuck up!" He lunged at me again but this time he got me. He pushed me to the ground and pinned me there with his foot. Most of the snow melted overnight so the impact on the ground hurt. 

"I'll make him wish he was dead until he puts himself out of his misery." He growled and it made me physically sick. He then reached into his pocket and took out a gun. SHIT  He leaned down smacked the stock of the gun on my head causing black dots to cover my vision. I could hardly see him but I think he was running into the forest, SHIT! I tried getting up but just ended up stumbling back down, so I tried again. As soon as I heard a gunshot boom throughout the forest I let out a cry for help. Our only neighbor wasn't home and Bobby didn't have another neighbor for about a mile or two so screaming for help isn't much use. My body was completely incapable of getting up because my head felt like a thousand pounds. Despite the black dots that overpowered my vision, I could still hear the faint cry of Cas somewhere in the forest. I don't know if it was some type of adrenaline thing but I somehow managed to get up, I weaved through old broken-down cars to try and follow the scream. No no no no this cant be happening..

Sam P.O.V.

Gabriel and I were just heading back home from the store when we heard the faint sound of a gunshot. It wasn't hunting season so it freaked us out, we shared fretful glances before we bolted for the house. I quickly took out my phone and called Bobby, trying no to drop it. 

"Bobby!" I shouted just as the house came into view.

"Yea?! Is everything ok?" 

"I don't know! We heard a gunshot near the house!"

"Are you at the house?!"

"No Gabe and I went to the store but we're almost there."

"Ok, stay where you are! Do not go any closer. We're on our way now!" 

"Ok but hurry!" I hung up. "Gabe stop! They said to stay here." He just paused and looked at me like I was speaking a different language. 

"What?! Something bad could've happened and you want to just stay here?!" He shouted angrily. 

"I don't want to! But if something really did happen, what are we going to do?!" I pleaded. "They're on their wa-" He interrupted me. 

"Shut up. Do you hear that?" Once he said this, both of us remained quiet and listened to the faint noise of an alarm resounding. Oh shit.. 

Bobby P.O.V.

Ellen and I rushed out to the truck along with a couple troopers. The officers took their own vehicle and speed off to our house, we followed. Ellen was freaking out, she kept thinking out loud about things that possibly could have happened. I took her hand in mine to try and calm her down. Within minutes the house came into view, the officers went straight to the house but I pulled over on the side to pick up Sam and Gabriel who were panicking. 

"What happened exactly?!" Ellen questioned as they entered the truck. 

"We were just on our way back from the store when we heard a gunshot so we got closer but then we heard the alarm Dean set behind the doors-" Sam started..

"We also heard someone shouting but we don't know who it was!" Gabriel finished. Damnit! Once we pulled into the driveway I could hear the alarm they were talking about. I quickly parked the truck and everyone jumped out, the officers were roaming around the house and a few cars in search for something that made me sick to even think about. 

"DEAN?! CAS!?" We all hollered hoping for a response.  

"Anything?!" I shouted as I walked closer to one of the troopers. 

"Just a broken window! We called in, a couple more guys are on their way. My partner is going to go scope out the tree line to see if she can find anything." I nodded. Ellen, Gabriel and Sam continued shouted their names in wait for a response, I went inside to turn the shrieking alarm off. 

Dean P.O.V.

Shit shit shit fuck shit.. I couldn't hear him anymore! 

"CAS?!" I called out again, no answer. "God Damnit!" I kicked the stump of a tree in frustration, then sat down abruptly. Fuck how did I let this happen?! 

"DEAN?! CAS?!" I nearly jumped. Wow they got here fast.. Immediately I got up and ran towards their voices for help. 

"ELLEN?! BOBBY!" I almost tripped on a stump as I ran out of the forest and back to the salvage yard. "ELLEN!" I rounded an old van and saw everyone. 

"DEAN!" They all shouted as they ran up to me. "What happened?! Are you okay?!" I frantically shook my head and felt dizzy.

"Lucifer! H-he broke in.. He had a gun-" It wasn't until now that I realized I was bleeding from where he hit me. I slowly felt my head become heavier and heavier and I sank to the ground so I was sorta crouching.  

"Its gonna be okay!" Ellen tried to comfort me but it didn't help. 

"No its not. I could hear him! I could hear him I just couldn't see him.. I couldn't-" Whatever adrenaline I had before has faded away because everything went black in seconds. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I screamed into the dirty hand that was covering my mouth again but nobody heard. Lucifer was dragging me through the forest carelessly, I struggled as best I could but it's no use. The piercing pain that shot through my inner thigh felt overbearing, I don't think the bullet struck any major artery's so that was a good thing.. Hopefully. A part of me wondered why he's not just killing me now, but then again.. I didn't really want to know. I tried screaming again but this time I found myself incapable. I started crying. I don't want to die, I really don't. After many more minutes of being dragged across the forest floor we entered a sort of clearing, once I saw Anna's old minivan that she gave to Lucifer- I started kicking and thrashing for him to let me go but it didn't work. He opened the trunk and shoved me in, when he removed his hand from my face I let out a loud scream filled with both pain and fear. 

"SHUT UP." He vociferate as he smacked me over the head forcefully and tied my hands together. I heard the faint sound of people shouting in the distance and felt a glimmer of hope but all that went away as Lucifer roughly grabbed my head and covered my mouth with duck tape. I looked at him pleadingly, hoping that there's at least a shred of decency left in him, he just slammed the trunk shut. Seconds later I heard the drivers side door slam shut and the car start. I leaned back and began to fully realize, there's no way out of this.. I'm going to die. 

Dean P.O.V.

Minutes later I woke up inside the house. Sam was sitting next to me on the couch, Ellen comforting Gabriel who was sobbing uncontrollably. I stood up despite the protest from my younger brother and left the room. When I charged outside the screen door slammed shut causing it to gather the attention of Bobby and one of the officers. 

"How's your hea-"

"What's going on?" I interrupted. 

"Pardon?" The officer asked.

"Why aren't we looking for him?!" I shouted in confusion. 

"I've got five other officers already out there, we're doing all we can." I didn't believe this so I just shook my head and continued off into the forest. "Sir! I'm afraid we're going to have to hold you back for questioning." I turned around and looked at them rudely. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I have a few quick questions about the attack. If that's ok, it would really help." 

"No! It's not okay. You want to know what he said? He said that he's not going to kill him. He's going to torture him until he kills himself. Now if you'd all quit sitting on your ass's and do your damn job, we'll find him before that happens." I snapped back and Bobby looked exceptionally surprised. 

"Sir.." I just ignored them and kept walking. 

"Dean!" Bobby shouted after me but I ignored that too. As I entered the tree line and into the forest I just felt like running for some reason. So I did. I ran towards where I last heard him, jumping over stumps and dodging trees. My vision became blurry. I saw another officer off in the distance but ignored that and kept running. I ran until I couldn't see anymore, and even then I didn't want to stop.. But I did. I stopped just for a second to clear my eyes, when I did- I looked around and everything seemed like it came straight out of a movie. This didn't seem real. God, how much I hoped this isn't real. I looked more closely at a spot of discolored snow- red discolored snow. No no no no.. I walked closer to and realized there was a trail. Without hesitation I followed it, running. The trail became messier and splotched, showing a sign of struggle. I followed it until it ended in an open clearing. Tire tracks showed in the mud, leading onto a path that went out to the road. So I followed that. When I reached the road, it was empty. I took a deep breath and sat down under one of the oak trees that followed the road, the snow on the ground felt cold but I didn't care. I buried my face in my hands.

"Son of a bitch.." I picked up a stick from next to me and chucked it across the road out of frustration. Heavy snowflakes then started raining from the dark gray sky, showering everything. The world seemed to calm for such horrible things to be happening. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I counted in my head how long we drove. Somewhere around 30 minutes. At first the road was smooth but then it got rough, signaling that we were probably in another forest. I'm guessing Crowder's Mountain State park. I was dizzy from blood loss but I was able to somewhat stop the bleeding with an old forgotten shirt that hid beside me. When the car stopped I panicked. Seconds later the trunk door swung open and Lucifer dragged me out. Again, I started kicking and thrashing as best I could but this time I was weaker. I noticed that it was snowing, and that the path was poorly maintained so this wasn't a known road. My older bother then yanked me forward and towards an old abandoned shack at the end of the path, it was dark brown and missing a few pieces in the walls. There was also a storm lantern hanging by the side of the door, it was emitting a red light. Waves of fear crashed within me every step we got closer. When we reached the small building he slammed the door open and threw me in, I stumbled and crashed into the worker's desk. 

"You don't know how far you've crossed the line now, boy." He hissed as he bashed a wrench from the table onto my head, causing me to black out.


	13. Fading Jeans with the Weight of the Month

Friday, Dec. 30, 2016

Dean P.O.V.

Cas has been missing for a little over four days now, the cops still aren't any closer to finding him. I just don't know what to do. Everyday I'm out in the woods looking for something, I'm not even sure what though. Yesterday I found his phone, the screen was cracked and it was filled with water. Ellen and Bobby are worried about me, but its not me they should be worrying about. I was just sitting on a stump fiddling with the bag of rice I'm keeping his phone in, I don't know why. Globs of snow plummeted from weak tree branches and rained around the forest- crashing onto rocks and smaller trees. Sunrays beamed through the boughs and covered the floor in a sheet of light. Again.. Everything just seemed too calm. 

"Dean?" I almost jumped at the sudden voice, but when I realized it was Sam I relaxed. 

"Yeah?" I didn't even look up as I continued fiddling with the bag of rice. 

"Why don't you come inside? Its cold out here and your really scaring us.." He seemed remorseful. I looked up for a second to answer, 

"I'm sorry.. Can I just have five more minutes?" He sighed and sat next to me. 

"We're going to find him, you know that, right?" It took me a second to answer. 

"I don't know.. They say after 72 hours the odds of finding a missing person alive, drop to almost nothing.." I hated saying that, I didn't want to.. But its true. Oh, how much I wish it wasn't true..

"Snap out of it! Do you even hear yourself?! Lucifer said that he's not going to kill him.. Which means that he's still alive and waiting to be found!" All I could do was shake my head slightly, it was quiet for a minute after that. "Will you please just come inside?" 

"Yeah.. Yeah." I stood up from the stump we were both sitting on and felt my feet sink in the snow. I really hope you're not stuck outside somewhere.. 

Castiel P.O.V. 

I woke up to the chill that came through the open window by my head. Lucifer wasn't here, thank god.. I tried sitting up a little more but found myself incapable, shooting pain spiked through my core and around my chest up to my head. My left leg was almost completely numb.. I've stopped the bleeding with a couple rags he left behind.. He had the appearance of leaving them on purpose. I don't know how long its been, but it seems like days of nonstop beatings. Honestly I cant tell if he wants me alive or not. I inspected the red soaked cloth that wrapped around my left thigh before I tried sitting up again. This time I succeeded, without the help of excruciating pain. My whole body ached, I don't know if I can take much more of this.. My heart jumped when the door slammed open and my older brother plowed in, hammered. He didn't say anything as he stumbled over to his usual chair across the room, whisky in hand. He just sat down and glared at me. Before he spoke he took another sip from the glass bottle. 

"Do you even know why I abhor you?" He hissed as he continued glowering at me, when I didn't respond he let out a huff of frustration and walked over to rip the tape that covered my mouth. "You can scream all you want.. Nobody's going to hear you." My older brother snarled and sat back down abundantly. In the past few days he's hardly said a word so this frightened me. 

"You hate me because I killed our father.." I didn't lift my head and spoke quietly, dreading eye contact. He just took another sip and stared at me confoundedly. 

"That's all?" He shook his head like I was missing something obvious. "Ha! Wow." He got up from his sitting position once more and walked over, crouching in front of me. 

"Please.." I managed to utter out weakly.. "Please just stop.."

"You killed both my parents, you tried to get me arrested and to top it all off you've gone all Brokeback Mountain. So tell me, do you really think begging is going to get you anywhere?" Lucifer barked back at me and everything fell apart. Both? He knows? What? "Oh yeah! I know about your little fling with that Dean kid.. One of your fellow classmates let me in on it.. Crowley I think his name was.." I'm never getting out of here.. Not alive..

"Both?" My voice was faint and broken.. But I needed to know what he was talking about. 

"I forgot.. Dad never wanted us to tell you, I respected that.. But now you've just crossed the line." I was now looking up at him pleadingly. "Mom died delivering you." My stomach, my heart, my everything just sank. Sank away into the void I never wanted to think about again. 

"I-I didn't know.. I-"

"Save it. Of course you didn't know, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen." He scoffed and stood up, looked around for a second- then picked up a knife from the tray on the table. I wanted to cry.. I really did.. But for some reason, I-I just couldn't. All I could do was close my eyes as Lucifer started carving dark red lines along my forearms, not deep enough to kill me- but so I would stay in agonizing pain. He snapped the band around my wrist just to allow more access, probably knowing that I'm not going anywhere after this. "You know.. Maybe I should just kill you.. It would be a lot easier.." His voice was hoarse and unforgiving. There used to be a time when I didn't care if I died or not.. But now I do. I was too weak to say anything and it hurt to scream.. But when he started dragging the knife up my arm and into the spot just below my collarbone I couldn't help but wail. My throat felt scratched and sore from shouting, especially when he continued twisting the blade into my chest. I felt like I was going to throw up when I started hearing the shrieking sound again. I eventually began to see the familiar black dots scurry across my vision and my head became lighter. With the last breath I could muster up before I passed out from pain again.. I begged for him to stop once more, even though it wouldn't make a difference- he just sneered at me. In seconds, I couldn't see anymore. I truly thought I was dead.. I probably was. Before my mind went blank.. I started seeing things.. Wait.. People? Everything seemed hazy but I could've sworn I was seeing a park.. A playground with five kids and an adult.. The three older kids- two boys and a girl- running around playing tag.. The adult was holding a baby while sitting on the bench.. A child younger than the ones playing tag sat next to him.. He was no older than four.. My point of view changed. 

I looked up at my dad who was holding Gabe, then back to my older brothers and sister who were playing tag. I watched as Mikey tackled Luci into the mud, Anna trailed behind. 

"Why don't you want to go play with them?" Dad asked as he turned to face me, I just shook my head. "Hmm, do you want to go on the swings?" 

"Yea!" I then jumped off the bench and raced him to the swing set. I wasn't quiet tall enough to reach it on my own so I had to wait for dad to put Gabe in the baby swing. Once he was done he lifted me up and placed me on the seat. I started kicking my feet to make the swing move but it didn't. I looked over my shoulder to see Gabe, but he wasn't there.. Dad wasn't either.. I jumped off the swing and landed on my feet. I ran to find Luci but he wasn't here, neither was Mikey or Anna. I looked up at the sun, it seemed to be the only thing that stayed. My eyes blinded from the light for a second but when my vision came back.. I wasn't standing the middle of a park anymore.   
I shifted a little on the branch I was sitting on and accidentally hit another causing an apple to fall and land on my head. 

"Woah, are you okay?" Dean asked between the hysterical laughs that he couldn't seem to control. I just gave him a funny face and picked an apple from another branch by my head, I inspected it for a second- then tossed it at him. "Hey!" He shouted, still laughing. I couldn't help myself from doing the same. "Come' on, I wanna show you something." He jumped out of the tree and waited, smiling from ear to ear. Suspicious, I climbed out of the tree as well.. I went to put my foot on a lower branch but missed. Like the clumsy dweeb that I am, I fell out of the tree.. But he caught me. "You really got a thing for falling, don't ya?" He chuckled out, still smiling. I just loved the way he smiled. 

"You really gotta thing for catching people, huh?" I replied with a laugh. 

"Mmm, just you." He set me down and grinned again as he took my hand. "What can I say? I'm a nice guy." We both continued chuckling as we started running towards the corn field. 

"You know, Bobby's gonna' kill us for skipping.." I shouted out. 

"Not if he doesn't find out!" He then tripped on a stock and fell into the corn, bringing me down with him. 

"Look whos falling now." The both of us chuckled. I couldn't move my eyes and neither could he so we just continued staring at each other, smiling wildly. Even when his phone began to ring he didn't look away.. But when it continued ringing over and over he answered. He mouthed the word 'Bobby' and made a face signaling that we were in trouble. I closed my eyes just for a split second but when I opened them.. Dean was gone, so was the corn field.. All I saw was darkness..

Dean P.O.V.

"I just got a call from Charlie, she asked if she, and a couple other of your friends could come over sometime today.. Is that okay?" Ellen asked as she leaned on the doorframe, she seemed sincere. 

"Yea, sure.." I didn't look up. 

"I'm making hot coco, do you want any?" 

"No. Thanks though.." I turned the bag of rice over again. 

"Have you even eaten anything today?" She walked over to me and sat down. 

"Not hungry." 

"Dean.. You gotta take better care of yourself.."

"I'm fine." She didn't say anything for a minute, not until she left again. 

"I'll call her back, they'll probably be here within the hour." I just shifted a little so I was facing the window. My own phone sat on my lap, I was waiting for a call from either the police department or Michael.. None of us have heard from him in a couple days. Bobby's on his way back from the station right now and Sam and Gabriel are in their room. Gabe hasn't exactly been taking any of this easily. I looked back down at the bag and tried turning his phone on again, this time it worked. It was at 2% so I took it out and plugged it in. I got up and walked into the kitchen to throw the bag of rice away. When Ellen saw me she looked sorta surprised. "Did it turn on?" I just nodded. After that I sluggishly walked back into the living room and sat back down on the couch. I hated just sitting here.. I wanted to be out looking for him but that god damn sheriff wont let me. I scooted back so I could lie down and I stared at the ceiling. About a half hour passed until they all arrived. When the doorbell rang, Ellen came in to answer but I got to the door first. I opened it to see Charlie, Tessa, Benny, Kevin and Garth all standing on our doorsteps.  

"Hey!" They all greeted, I just gave them a small smile and let them in, Ellen left the room again. 

"How you holdin' up?" Ben asked as we all settled in the living room. 

"Fine.. I guess." 

"Dude.. Seriously, don't lie to us.. How are you?" Tessa inquired, I just shook my head. 

 

"I don't know.. I haven't slept for days.. They're still no close to finding him and it still just feels like none of this is even real.." 

"Its okay, really.." Charlie countered but she was wrong. I shook my head again, seems like its all I can do.

"No, Its not. I told him to run.. If I had just gone with him none of this would be happening right now and-" 

"You did it to protect him. You cant blame yourself for that.." Garth stated but I wouldn't let myself think that. I guess I've been trying so hard to keep myself together all this time I haven't really reacted much.. But now I couldn't stop my hands from shaking.. My heart and head felt heavy.. 

"For all I know.. He could be dead right now and the last thing I said to him was 'just go'.." I leaned my head on the back of the couch.

"He's not dead. Come' on man! You cant really think that?" Kevin proclaimed. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself before I started letting out feelings that I didn't want to. The next couple minutes was silent. The only noise was the faint sound of Gabriel and Sam in the other room. It was when Bobby walked in that I opened my eyes and lifted my head, hoping for some news.. Any news. When he saw me he just shook his head, signaling that nothing has changed. I dropped my head again and squinted my eyes so they would stop welling up. I couldn't see, just hear someone or a couple people moving around.. I jumped a tiny bit when I felt someone wrap their arms around me. I opened my eyes and saw Charlie, her beanie fell off and onto my shoulder. I couldn't help leaning into her shoulder and letting myself go.. This was certainly a side of me that very few people have even seen, let alone my friends.. 

"Thank you.." I managed to utter out without completely breaking down. 

"Your welcome, really.. If you need anything we're all here for you." I nodded slightly. "Do you want us to stay a little longer?" 

"You can If you want.. I just need to go for a walk, that's all.. Sam and Gabe are in the other room if you wanna talk to them.." I replied as I stood up, grabbing my coat from the couch arm. "Sorry.." 

"Its okay! Just don't do anything stupid." Tessa said with a small laugh, yet still a little concerned. I just shared apologetic glances with everyone before I left the room and out the door. I swung my coat over my shoulders and started for the forest. It was so cold I could see my own breath. When I entered the tree line, everything felt different. It just felt unsafe.. I didn't care though. Icicles hung from trees and ice covered everything in sight. I kept walking, deeper and deeper into the woods until I stopped in front of a semi grown tree. I just stared at it for a second before I snapped one of the branches off and started thrashing everything around me. I bashed the frozen branch into other trees and rocks until it was broken into little pieces. I stood there for a minute, staring at all the woodchips that now scattered the ground. I was pulled out of my gaze when my phone rang. It was Bobby.

"What?" 

"Dean you need to come back right now."

"Why?"

"Jody called.. They found something.." Jody Mills was the sheriff. My stomach sank.

"What did they find?" My voice cracked.. He didn't respond right away and it worried me.. "Bobby, what did they find?" I was getting impatient.

"They found a body, Dean. Please just come back.. Now." I hung up immediately. No.. No no no.. That's not true. It cant be true.. The silence of the forest sickened me.. I didn't know what to do.. WHAT DO I DO?! Cas come' on man, you cant be- You cant- My mind came to a halt.. Everything- everything seemed out of place. I rose my hands to my head and closed my eyes. When my phone began to ring again.. I threw it. I pitched it across the forest and it smacked into a tree. I started running again. I ran all the way back to the house and slammed the door open. 

"Where." My voice was flat. Ellen was sobbing at the table and Bobby was comforting her. "Where?!" I shouted this time. 

"About 15 miles from here on route 85.. Dean, don't.." He just looked at me with sorrow. I ignored it and grabbed my keys, then rushed out of the house and into the impala. I sped off and onto route 85, following it until I saw the police cruisers parked on the side of the road. I didn't even bother shutting my car off as I jumped out and ran over to where they were all standing at the top of the ditch. 

"Dean! You shouldn't be here!" Jody tried to stop me from seeing it but it was too late. I pushed past a few other officers and froze. I was about to throw up.. I couldn't see his face.. But the dark brown hair was enough to know who it is.. No.. "I'm sorry.." Jody muttered as she set a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. No.. This isn't real.. That's not Cas.. It cant be. "You should go home.. Be with your family." She seemed even more apologetic. I turned around and looked at her confused. 

"What?" 

"You should be with your family right now." 

"He's my family." I pointed towards the ditch and scowled at her. 

"You know what I mean." 

"No.. No I really don't." I took one last glance at the limp body that lied in the ditch and winced. I then walked back to my car and sat in the drivers seat. I stared at the cars that passed in front of me until I became dizzy. This isn't real. The car was already started so I just pulled off the side of the road. This isn't-  I started driving back home.. Home? It didn't feel like a home.. I felt numb. Everywhere. Real.. Cant be.. My eyes blurred and I couldn't see the road. No..  I wiped my eyes and slammed the gas. Before I arrived back at Bobby's house I almost hit another car. I barely parked it and ran inside, ignoring everyone who was sobbing in the living room. 

"Dean!" Bobby cried out but I just kept walking upstairs. I couldn't see as I slammed the door closed and leaned against it. Its hard to believe that just a week ago.. Cas and I were in this room.. Messing around like there was nothing wrong in the world.. Like everything was okay.. 

"I-I'm s-sorry.." I muttered out between cries. I promised him that I wouldn't let anything happen.. That everything would be okay.. But everything isn't okay. And it never will be.. 

"Dean? Dean, can you open the door?" I listened as Sam spoke softly on the other side of the door. I half stood up and locked it, then sat back down. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. 

"Go back downstairs Sam." 

"No. If your going to do something stupid.. Don't." 

"I'm not- I'm not going to do anything." I was now choking on the sobs that I couldn't stop. 

"I don't believe you." 

"Just.. Go back downstairs.. Please." All of this felt like some part of me was ripped away.. Like a heavy weight that was drowning inside.. Its not fair.. None of this is fair.. He didn't deserve this.. Any of this.. Sam left and I was still just cowering in front of the door. Minutes- hours I didn't know.. I got up and walked over to the desk. I picked up a piece of paper and a pen, trying my hardest to not look at the drawings that scattered the table. I was probably dehydrated from crying but I didn't care, it wont matter anyway. I sat down and started writing.

 

Dear Sam, 

I've written a couple of these in the past but you've never read them because I always shredded them afterward. I hate myself for doing this but I have to, I cant live like this. I cant live knowing that its my fault he's gone. I'm not going to turn this into some sappy chick flick letter because you know I hate those, so I'm just going to get to the point. One of the reason's why I'm doing this now is because your in a safer environment, I couldn't leave you with John because we both know how that would end up. I just hope that you, Gabriel, Bobby and Ellen will somehow find a way to become a normal family despite everything that's happened in the past couple months. Once you find this, don't even bother looking for me. You wont like what you find. 

I have a couple things that I need you to do and you don't get to complain because I'm your big brother and you have to do what I say. I need you to go visit our father. Tell him to rot. Oh and if you could, saying that to Uriel as well would be appreciated. I also need you to tell Anna that I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. To me it seems like I never can. That's all. Thank you, for everything. 

                                                                                                         Sincerely, Dean.

 

I put the pen down and got up, grabbing my keys and shoving the bottles of Citalopram and Tramadol that we both sometimes shared in extreme cases, in my pocket. I unlocked my door and rushed down the stairs. Again, I ignored everyone, especially when they tried to stop me. Before I went to my car, I jogged into the forest and searched for my phone. I found it within minutes, the screen was cracked but it still worked. I then walked back to my car and got in, eventually speeding off to Clanton park. I ignored the book that dropped from the back seat and slipped under mine, the pink cherry petal that was enclosed inside of it was now loose. When I arrived.. I noticed how the willow trees were frozen so they didn't move the way they used to.. I parked the car and walked over to the picnic table, I brushed the snow off and sat down. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them back up.. I paid extra attention to how it was just hardly snowing.. The frozen pond was still.. And the willow trees were covered in snow, creating a sort of winter cove. I took my phone out and scrolled to Cas's contact, intending to leave a message. After the phone beeped I began.

"Hey, its Dean.. I know.. I know you wont get this message.. It'll probably be either Bobby or Michael, but just.. I-I don't know. I thought it was worth the try.. I'm at our park right now.. The trees look like they're all frozen together.. Its definitely something you'd wanna' draw as soon as you got home.." I had to pause for a minute because I-I couldn't- I couldn't do this.. I couldn't deal with this. "D-do you remember when I first brought you here? It was the same week that we met.. Even though you didn't really know me at the time.. You still trusted me.. For that I cant thank you enough." I paused again and wiped my eyes. Late October, a little before I met him, I was starting to feel something- or not feel anything at all.. I just felt this sort of empty.. But once I met him, I didn't feel that empty anymore.. He helped me to be able to feel again and now that he's gone.. I don't know.. All I feel is that similar pit in my stomach.. "I remember, as we were driving home.. You were singing along to Sweater Weather.. That- that was the first time I ever heard you sing.." I watched my frozen breath cloud as I spoke.. I was incapable of finishing.. I stared at my phone for a second before ending the message. I took both of the bottles out of my pocket and fidgeted with them as I looked back up at the trees. 

Castiel P.O.V.

"C-cause its too cold.. Woah.. For you here.. And now, so let me hold.. Woah.. B-both your hands.. In- in the holes of my sweater.." Singing failed to calm me down. The blade's still stuck below my collarbone.. I could feel it too.. I just woke up a half hour ago.. Lucifer's gone. I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling. The wind blew some snow through the window causing whatever isolation this building had to be useless. All I was wearing was a blood soaked sweater and blood soaked jeans. "'Its too.. Cold, whoa.. For you here.." I felt an uncomfortable rack spike up my body and I began heaving blood. I tried to remember the sound of his voice from the other day.. Just the thought of him gave me butterflies in my stomach.. "And now.. S-so let me hold." I was replying the sound of him humming to the song over and over in my head, trying to recite the lyrics as it goes on.. "Both.. Both your hands in the holes of my sweater.." Lately it seems like memories have been fading rapidly from my mind.. All the hits to my head probably had something to do with it. My brain hurt from thinking.. Everything hurt from just being.. I didn't want to be here.. I cant run.. I cant scream.. I can hardly breath right.. There's a reason why I don't believe in god. If there really is a so called 'god' then why does he let things like this happen? Why does he want the world to punish people like me? I've got multiple people who keep telling me that those things aren't my fault.. I see that now. So why do I get punished? What did I do? How do I make things right?! I spit the remaining blood that pooled in my mouth on the floor next to me. "Its too cold.." My voice cracked.. "Its too cold." Are those the right words? "Hands.. Hands of my sweater.." I was unsure of myself.. My head was now pounding.. My arms and hands felt like they had bricks tied around them, but I still did my best to lift them up to my head.. I noticed that the wounds on my arms weren't healing the way they should be.. Then I realized.. Even if they do find me.. Even if I somehow get out of here.. And if I ever get to see Dean again, or hear him humming along to Sweater Weather.. It wont matter.. I'm dead either way. With the amount of blood that I've lost.. I'll be dead in a few days anyway.. And nothing- or at least nothing that I've ever heard of can bring me back from that. I tried to think of something nice again to calm myself down. I tittered a little when I started replaying the memory of Dean and I picking pumpkins behind the school for a fundraiser.. I remember that he had apple cider all over him because I accidently spilled my cup.. I also remember the pumpkin that was unfortunately murdered in a game of 'hot potato'.. When we were leaving, he got me back from the cider incident by pouring a cup down the back of my shirt.. I started crying because I knew deep down that I would never get to relive that feeling again.. I knew that I would never get to be older and get to look back on new memories. 

"Quit crying, you poltroon." I had been so blinded by pain I hadn't even realized Lucifer was back. I lifted my head and saw him sitting in his usual chair surveying me.. From the looks of it, he's been here the whole time. It was then quiet for awhile.. I dropped my arms back down on my lap, not caring about the searing pain that moved throughout my arms and thighs where I hit. "I'll never quite understand why.." My older brother began as he started twirling another knife on the table. 

"Understand what?" I spoke very softly.. Kinda hoping he didn't hear me at all. 

"I'll never understand why Gabriel went through so much trouble to make sure I didn't find you.. Why they all did. At first I was just glad you were gone, but then you had to overstep your bounds.. Again. Honestly, when I really wanted to find you.. It wasn't that hard. I just followed you home from school." He got up from his chair and crouched in front of me, pointing the knife at me. "I'll never understand why my own brother- the only decent one, I must add- turned on me. Why he called the police to get me arrested.. But it doesn't matter though. He got what he deserved." His voice was unsettling..

"What did you do?" I asked, unsure what he meant by that.

"I killed him." Whatever I had left holding on.. Whatever hope I had- just disintegrated. "Michaels dead, Castiel." My stomach sank for the thousandth time today. 

Dean P.O.V.

I unscrewed the caps on both bottles and inspected their contents. My phone been ringing nonstop so I shut it off. I looked up at the sky one last time and took another breath. By now, my face was stained red and puffy. I didn't see the truck that pulled onto the path, I also didn't see them walking over to me so when they started talking, I jumped. 

"So this is it, huh?" Sam said as he swiped the snow off the other side of the picnic table and sat in front of me.

"You shouldn't be here." I muttered as I moved the bottles from above the table- under. 

"What were you gonna do? Roll over and die?" I just gave him a hard ass look. "Well.. If you'd answer your phone for once, maybe you would think twice about this."

"Why." 

"That body you saw.. It wasn't Cas. Jody called back saying the profile didn't match up.. One thing lead to another and they figured out that it was actually Michael.." I didn't know what to do with this information.. I cant tell if this is good or bad news.. It could be good because that means Cas might still be alive somewhere.. But it could also be bad because if Lucifer just flat out killed Michael.. Then what's he doing to Cas.. I was in complete shock, I didn't know what to say either. "Would' ya give me the damn bottles?" He demanded. 

"Language.. Sam." I muttered, slightly smiling. I handed him the two bottles and the caps, then attempted to collect myself. 

"Come' on, they're waiting." Sam said as he got up and started walking back to Bobby's truck, I quietly followed. Still locked in this kind of shock- Bobby, Sam and I took my car back to his place while Ellen, Anna and Gabriel took Bobby's truck. I vow to do whatever it takes to find you.. You can count on that.


	14. Bittersweet Sweater Weather

Wednesday, Jan. 5, 2017

Castiel P.O.V.

I think its been like, nine days? Nine days of continuous beatings. Fun. I was using all my strength just to stay conscious. My head hurt to turn so I couldn't tell if Lucifer's here.. Honestly I don't care if he is. I just want it to be over. I've finally figured out what he's doing.. Why he's not just killing me.. He wants me to suffer.. And he's succeeded. Every part of my body was screaming at me to give up.. To just lie down and die. I was pulled out of my daydream when my older brother yanked my hair to get me to look up at him, my neck ached immensely. 

"I'm leaving for a few. Don't try anything." His voice was harsh. 

"Couldn't, even if I tried." I replied rudely as I glared at him. He just grinned and dropped my head forcefully. 

"That's the spirit." And he left. When I was sure that he was gone, I mocked him. You know.. Its amazing, really. Its amazing how someone's whole life can be turned around in just one week, or one day. Even better that it can continue to turn and twist until you've given up completely. At first I had hope.. Lots. But now.. I cant see any possibility of getting out of here.. Not alive. I started laughing for some reason, even though it burned. Its funny. This is all funny. Lucifer has such a fucked up mind that he murders his own brother gleefully and tortures the other.. And the best part is.. That's just what I know about. I spit the blood that collected in my mouth again. Just let this be over soon.. Please..

Dean P.O.V.

"Jody's coming over in a few to pick me up." I shouted from the living room as I took my windbreaker and scarf from the coat rack. 

"Where are you guys looking today?" Ellen asked from the hall. I put my coat on and wrapped the scarf around my neck. 

"Crowder's." I then walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle, stuffing it in my backpack. Bobby had left to go pick up Sam and Gabriel from school, so it was just Ellen and I. 

"Okay, be carful. Call me if anything happens." She replied a little bluntly. It kinda seems like everyone in this house has lost their hope.. But not me. After the incident with Michael, I called Jody Mills (the sheriff) and asked her to bring me with her to search for Cas. After many hours of begging and convincing her.. She complied. Ever since, we've been searching forests, broken down buildings and pretty much anywhere where you could hide away. Last Friday, after they found Lucifer's prints on the weapon not far from the crime scene.. They sent out an Amber Alert. Now all of North Carolina knows that Lucifer has Cas held up somewhere. I definitely feel more confident that we're going to find him.. And alive. I refuse to think otherwise. When I heard her car horn blare I skipped out of the house and into the cruiser. 

"Ready?" She asked as she turned to face me, I just nodded. "Do I need to give you the talk again.. Or are you good?" 

"No, I know." Everyday when she picked me up she would give me a talk saying to be prepared for anything.. As in finding something I didn't want to think about. 

"Okay. Crowder's state park is about a half hour drive, so get comfortable." She pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. 

"Do you think we could turn the radio on?" I asked, she just gave me a slightly confounded look. 

"That's what its for ain't it?" She smiled and turned it on, Bruno Mars then flowed throughout the vehicle. I leaned my head on the seat and stared out the window, training my eyes on certain trees as we pasted them. I then moved my eyes to the white line on the road, noticing how it looked like it was swiveling. I listened to the very faint sound of wind on the other side of the window. What if todays the day? What if we find him today? Am I ready for that? 

"Actually.. Can we go over it one more time?" I asked quietly as I moved my head from the window. She looked back at me with understanding and turned the music down a little. 

"I want you to prepare yourself, for not only if we do find him.. But if we don't. In this case, there are over a thousand possibility's of what could happen. I don't want you to think the worst.. But I also don't want you to get your hopes up. I haven't seen many cases like this so I don't even know what's going to happen. We're all doing our best, but sometimes things just happen. The point is.. You need to be ready for whatever happens today. Whether we don't find him or we find him perfectly fine, injured.. Or possibly lifeless. Just be ready. Okay?" I nodded, never taking my eyes off the road in front of us. She watched me for a second before turning the radio back up. My mind automatically recited the lyrics as they played. 

You'd better run, better run, out run my gun. 

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks. 

You'd better run, better run.

I've never even read the lyrics before but now I was listening to them clearer and I realized how fucked up they were.. 

faster than my bullet

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks

You'd better run, better run, out run my gun

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks

You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.

As the song ended, I returned my gaze back to the side window- awaiting the next song. The radio was dead silent for a split second but as soon as it began playing and I realized what it was.. I immediately shut it off. Jody looked at me a little weird. 

"Not a Neighborhood fan?" She asked oddly. It took me a second to get the right words out. 

"No.. No, its just his favorite song.. Kinda hard to listen to right now." My voice was slightly subdued. She was quiet for a minute, but eventually responded.

"If I have learned any sort of wisdom in my life, its that you need to face the hard things in life. It makes you stronger." She replied with a small smile that I returned. 

"I think that's one of the most cheesiest things you've ever said." I replied while laughing. 

"Meh." She laughed too. It took me another second to gather my courage, once I did.. I turned the radio back on. Sweater Weather lyrics filled the cruiser, causing my heart and stomach to sink a little. 

Just us, you find out

Nothing I really wanna tell you about no

'Cause it's too cold, whoa

For you here

And now, so let me hold, whoa

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

And if I may just take your breath away

I don't mind if there's not much to say

Sometimes the silence guides your mind

We passed a road sign saying that we were halfway there. I have to admit.. A part of me is really scared for today.. Just like every other day this week. 

 

The goosebumps start to race

The minute that my left hand meets your waist

And then I watch your face

Its been what.. Nine, ten days? I can only imagine what he's going through. 

These hearts adore, everyone the other beat heart is for

Inside this place is warm

Outside it starts to pour

I looked up at the sky and saw the sun- which was surprising because it seems like its been snowing non-stop for days now. Its not heavy snow, just light. But snow is snow. 

Just us, you find out

Nothing I really wanna tell you about, no no no

'Cause it's too cold, whoa

For you here

And now, so let me hold, whoa

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

I watched the large rocks zoom past and observed the ice caps that rested on top of them. Once the tree line cleared a little, I saw the mountain range not that far away. I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm not ready.. But that doesn't matter. If we find him, I'm going to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. If we find him dead.. Then I don't know what I'd do with myself. Bobby mentioned earlier that even if we do find him, he may not be the same.. One can only imagine what Lucifer's doing to him.. And whatever it is, he may not be able to walk out of that the same. I know Jody keeps saying to 'be prepared' but how am I suppose to be ready for that? I just wish none of this even happened in the first place. It kinda hurts to think that right now we would be driving home from school.. Jody must've seen me overthinking because she just pat me on the shoulder. 

"It'll be fine, just try and think about something else right now." She reassured, I tried to do as told but couldn't find myself capable. "You'll drive yourself mad if you keep thinking about this." 

"I know.." I turned back to the window and looked more closely at the mountains, I studied them like I would never get the chance again. Even from here I could see the white snow caps trailing from the peek all the way down to the rivers and canals that drove down the sides of it. I listened closely to the rest of the song, trying to replay him singing along. 

Soon we pulled onto the dirt driveway that led into the park. State parks are usually pretty damn big and had a lot of people in them, but vacation just ended so there wasn't anyone here.. Well.. That we know of. When she parked I immediately jumped out and closed the door behind me.

"Here." Jody shouted from the other side of the cruiser as she tossed a beanie at me. "Its cold, your gonna want a hat." I just scowled at it before I put it on. I thought the scarf was a little much but now I have to wear a beanie too? 

"Wait! What are you wearing?! Why do I have to wear the hat?" 

"I'm an adult. I can make my own choices." She retorted with a smile. 

"Hey, I'm gonna be 18 in less than a month.."

"Well.. In less than a month you wont have to wear it if you don't want to." We both laughed a little as we started for the pathway and into the forest. I took a deep breath to try and calm my mind. The forest looked like a sort of winter dimension, huge icicles hung from pine branches and snow was falling from random treetops. I could hear Jody's little radio thingy on her uniform, other policemen were talking to each other. I swear. I'm going to find you if its the last thing I do. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I jumped when I heard an icicle drop to the ground and shatter on the other side of the wall. I rolled my head to the side because it felt too heavy to lift. 

"Oh, you're awake." Lucifer remarked as he strolled across the room, looking out the window. 

"Oh, you're not blind.. You had me worried for a second." I snapped back, not even caring. "I've been awake." He just gazed at me and chuckled a little before he kneeled in front of me. He roughly grabbed my head and made me look him in the eyes. 

"Watch your tone." His voice was unsettling, I just stared back at him harshly. He started chuckling again as he got up and paced across the room. After a minute, he rummaged through a bag and pulled out an unlabeled bottle. "I have a proposal." He kneeled in front of me again, playing with the small orange pill bottle.

Dean P.O.V.

Jody and I were still hiking in the forest, no longer on the main path. The snow out here was almost a foot deep so every step I took, my feet would sink, they were also soaked from melted snow but I didn't care.. I didn't need to care. I couldn't see the mountain anymore because trees blocked my view of the sky. 

"Careful, icicles are falling off of trees.. You wouldn't want one landing on your head." She hollered to me as I skipped over a tiny stream. Just seconds after she finished, a huge icicle descended from a tree and landed inches away from me, sharp end down. I took another breath before continuing forward, I don't think she saw. Nature can truly be brutal. "Dean, we've been out here searching for almost three hours. I don't think he's here." 

"Just a little longer.. Please.." I looked up at her, basically pleading. She sighed and looked back at me understandingly. 

Castiel P.O.V.

I wasn't getting out of here alive anyway so really.. What's the loss? My older brother continued turning the bottle over, still crouching in front of me. 

"I'm going to leave.. But this time I don't plan on coming back. I'm just getting sick of your face." He hissed as he shifted so he was sitting cross-legged. "You should know that I never planed to kill you. Not directly."

"Why." I tilted my head so I could look him straight in the eyes. 

"Because Uriel was right. Having you do it yourself would be so much better." He placed the bottle on the ground in front of me and I started crying again. "I'm giving you the choice to take this, or stay here and eventually die of dehydration.. Blood loss.. Infection or hypothermia. Your choice." He watched me for a second before getting up and grabbing his coat. "Don't even think about running.. You know you wouldn't get very far." And with that, he was out the door. I opened my eyes again and saw my red streaked arms. I attempted to lift my head but couldn't, not completely. After a couple minutes of screaming in my head begging myself not too, I dragged my hands over to the bottle and picked it up. Don't.. I fumbled with it for a second, eventually popping the cap off. Please.. I stared at the large white pills. 

"I'm sorry.." I managed to whisper out as I emptied the contents onto my hand. My heart was racing at an unhealthy speed. I'm dead anyway.. Without thought, I rose my hand despite how much it hurt and plopped the handful of pills in my mouth. Swallowing. I didn't feel anything.. I couldn't feel anything. My heart was numb. I rose my head slowly so my neck wouldn't give out and started looking at everything like it would be the last time.. Because it was. I looked across the room and at the door that seemed small now. I noticed how frost was seeping through the sides and along the walls.. My eyes moved from the door, over to the chair and table he always sat at. It took me a second to see it, but once I did, my heart and stomach sank.. He left his phone. What have I done?

 

Dean P.O.V.

I could tell Jody wanted to leave.. She was convinced that he wasn't here and it was getting late. But I don't know.. I just had a feeling. The sun was almost about to set so the sky looked pinkish purple. 

"Dea-" She started but I interrupted. 

"No! I don't want to leave until we're absolutely sure he's not here. Alright?" I snapped back harsher than intended. I kicked at a small pile of snow in frustration. Fuck.. I was about to take a break and collect myself again but I heard my phone ring. I took it out of my pocket and read the name, it was an unknown caller. Curiosity overruled me. 

"Hello?" 

"Dean?" I knew that voice.. My heart stopped for a second. It cant really be- 

"Cas?!" Jody looked up surprised and walked over to me. "Cas is that you?!" I almost shouted, my hands were shaking. 

"Yea.. Yea its me.. Its me.." He sounded hurt.. Really hurt.

"W-where are you?! Are you okay?!" I rushed my words. Jody was frantically talking to her dispatcher, trying to trace the call. 

"I-I think I'm in Cro-Crowder's state park.. I don't know.."

"Crowder's.. I'm in Crowder's right now. Just hold on we're tracing the call.. Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!" 

"De- I.. He gave me- he gave me a bottle of pills-" I rose my open hand to my head and covered my eyes, as if it would change anything. My heart actually hurt hearing this. 

"Tell me you didn't take them.. Please just tell me you didn-"

"I d-did.. I-I tried throwing it back up but I c-couldn't.. Dean, I'm sorry.." Jody was about to get the location and I was freaking out. 

"Just.. Just keep talking.. We'll find you, just keep talking. Okay?" I looked up at her to see her mouthing the words 'half mile' and pointed west. Without hesitation I started running, she ran after me. "I'm on my way right now, okay?" All I could hear was coughing on the other line. I dashed through trees and jumped over stumps and rocks even when the foliage became thicker. "Talk to me, is he still there?" I shouted. 

"N-no.. He left.." His voice sounded weak.. "I-I cant walk.. H-he shot me and I cant walk, Dean.." He cried out loud and it made my heart ache. 

"Don't worry.. I'm coming to you.. You don't have to walk anywhere, ok? Just stay put I'm almost there.." My heart rate was racing as I continued running. "Can you describe where you are?" 

"I- Uhh.. Re-red light.. There's a red light outside.. I'm in a small building.. Li-like a shed.." 

"Its okay, I see it.. I see it, I'm almost there." I jumped over a few more stumps and through the tree line, eventually stepping on a snow covered path. Down the narrow road I saw the building and the light, sprinting towards it- I heard Jody shouting something from behind me but I wasn't listening. When I reached the small building, I pushed the door open with my elbow and quickly rushed toward him. He was half laying against a wooden table in the middle of the room, an empty pill bottle laid on the floor beside him. "Cas?!" I called out as I kneeled next to him, his head was dropped and he was covered in blood. I couldn't stop myself from shaking as I carefully lifted his head, once he saw me he expressed a sort of pained smile. "Its okay, there's an ambulance on the way.. Its gonna be fine, you'll be fine." I added with a returned smile. I looked him over and saw the bullet wound that he was talking about in his inner thigh, then I saw the small knife still lodged in his upper chest.. His arms were covered in long deep cuts.. Seconds later, Jody rushed in and kneeled beside us. 

"Oh my god.." She was quiet. "An ambulance will be here in a couple minutes.. Just hang in there.." Jody stated as she picked up the empty bottle. "What was in this?!" She demanded. He lightly shook his head.

"I-I don't know.." I carefully leaned my head on his and wrapped an arm around him, closing my eyes. "I-I'm sorry.." He spoke softly, I could hear the wheezes that escaped him every time he took a breath.

"Its okay.. You're gonna be fine." I knew that wasn't true.. But I would never admit it. Minutes later we heard the ambulance blaring down the road, paramedics soon rushed in the room with a stretcher. I got out of the way and watched them help him onto it, flinching when he let out a loud cry. Jody explained to them about the pills, how we don't know what he took. It definitely made them rush even faster. She also told them to let me ride in the ambulance with them, she stayed behind though. Jody gave me a pat on the back and a sad smile before she started walking towards the cruiser that parked further down the road, out of the way. Once the two back doors closed, the vehicle started speeding to the nearest hospital. The paramedics were frantically inspecting his wounds and hooking up wires. Soon the EKG was on and active so you could see his heart rate.. It was all over the place. I scooted forward a little so I was out of the way, but still right next to him. He was conscious so I kept trying to talk to him. "H-hey.. Do you remember that time when we all went to theater but they kicked us out because they caught Gabriel smuggling like three pounds of candy in his coat?" I uttered with a slight chuckle, trying to distract him from all the needles they were poking in him. He opened his eyes and looked up at me, nodding slightly. We both locked into each others eyes for a minute.. All until we overheard them talking about pumping his stomach. I watched as he squinted his eyes shut, gripping onto my hand tighter. The EKG was starting to freak out.. So was I. They were trying to explain to him how he needs to relax, but he couldn't. He began coughing up blood.. A lot.. There were now large bandages that wrapped around his left thigh, forearms and chest. They haven't taken the blade out, probably waiting until they have better equipment. 

"Sir, you need to relax and let us do our job." One of the medics was trying to coax him into opening his mouth for the tube to pump his stomach. Cas just continued shaking his head. 

"I-I cant." 

"Is that even safe to do right now?!" I retorted.

"Whatever he took will kill him unless we get it out of his system, we don't have any other choice." I looked back at Cas to see him watching me, his eyes filled with panic. I just squeezed his hand a little and nodded, signaling that he needed to. He was hesitant for a second.

"It'll be fine, trust me." I commented as I brushed some of his hair from his forehead and kissed him. 

"..Okay." He then let them place the tube in his mouth and down his throat. He looked back over to me with dread filling his features. I noticed his right arm was twitching a little but they didn't say anything so I brushed it off. Before they actually began, our heads jerked up in surprise when the EKG let out a really high pitch beep along with rapid and unsteady beats.. I quickly looked back at Cas to see him now unconscious and frothing at the mouth through the tube.. No no no.. Not this.. Not now..

"He's having a seizure!" One of them shouted as they began treating him. They took the tube out of his mouth and placed him on his side. Every time the heart monitor spiked, so would mine. They all kept shouting things to each other and trying different things while all I could do was sit there. It was lasting longer than it should be.. 

"What's happening?! Why is it lasting this long?!" I shouted, hoping for an answer but I never got one. I started freaking out all over again. The sight of Cas on his side, his arms and legs spazzing and foam coming from his mouth frightened me.. But not as much as when I heard the EKG flat line and he stopped moving.. I quickly moved over so I was just inches away from him, begging him to wake up. 

"Sir your going to have to move out of the way." One of the EMT's stated as they brought out a defibrillator. I was panicking uncontrollably. I started sobbing when they shouted 'clear' and jump started his heart but nothing happened..

 

The same thing repeated three more times.. 

 

After six try's.. They called it.

 

My heart ached and I continued weeping, one of the medics just rubbed my shoulder in attempt to comfort me while another turned the EKG off and wrote down the time. No.. This cant be happening.. This- this has to be just some sick dream.. It- it cant be real.. Can't be.. I somehow managed to convince myself that this isn't real but when the ambulance stopped and the doors opened, reveling Bobby, Ellen, Sam, Gabriel and Anna.. Everything fully sank in and I couldn't help myself from stumbling out of the vehicle and collapsing into their arms. 

 

Why'd you have to fly away?


	15. Epilogue

Sunday, Jan. 27, 2017

Sam P.O.V.

Its been three weeks since both Michael and Cas's funeral. Neither Dean nor Gabriel have been handling any of this easily.. Gabriel has just been stuck in a state of sadness but Dean.. Well, I don't think he's slept in days.. Maybe even a week. Bobby, Ellen and Anna seem to be holding up well though, so that's good. I'm just worried, both my best friend and my brother are going through something I could never even dream of. Gabe hardly ever leaves our room and Dean's always either at the cemetery, Clanton park or locked in his own room. In addition to sleep, I don't think he's eaten in weeks either. He's basically slowly killing himself and none of us know how to help him. He also hasn't been back to school ever since.. Sometimes Charlie would come over to try and talk to him and give him a couple missed assignments but he would never take them. I just don't know what to do. I was sitting on the couch in the living room fiddling with a rubrics cube as I heard someone trotting down the stairs, I lifted my head to see who it was, even though I already knew. 

"Where are you going?" I asked as he continued toward the door. 

"Does it matter?" Dean muttered as he opened the door. 

"Take your coat! Its cold!" 

"I'm fine." And he was gone. A couple days ago Bobby took his keys away from him, attempting to stop him from going out so much. But it didn't work because now he just walks. I set the colored cube on the side table and skipped up the stairs, walking over to his room. Everyday when he leaves I check his room just to make sure he didn't leave a dumb note saying he was going to do something stupid. I pushed the door open and scanned his desk, I didn't see a note but I noticed the neatly stacked pile of drawings on the side. I knew I shouldn't be nosing around but I couldn't help myself. I walked over and picked up the first one, I recognized it. This was the first drawing of the impala by Cas.. 

Dean P.O.V.

My hands rested in my jean pockets as I walked on the side of the road. My breathing was so heavy and slightly forced, it was kinda hard to focus. My head, stomach and heart hurt but I ignored it. I was on my way to the cemetery when I heard my phone blaring. I didn't answer. I knew it was either Bobby or Sam wanting me to come back home. About fifteen minutes later I arrived at the familiar iron gate. I walked over to the newer side of the graveyard and to the newest headstone. The sky was dark gray, again. lately its been getting a little warm so some of the snow has melted, leaving splotches of grass here and there. 

"Hey.." I uttered with a half smile as I sat in front of the dark gray headstone. "Uhh, Bobby came up to my room this morning.. He said he got a call from Jody saying they found him." I had to pause for a second.. "They found him Cas! They found Lucifer." I paused again and stared off into space for a minute. "He's now rotting in jail along with Uriel and John.." I looked down at the grass that I was playing with, it took me a second to figure out how to speak. "We all really miss you.. Especially Gabe.." I tilted my head a little and closed my eyes. "This world is cruel and foul and I don't know why it chose to make you suffer.. I'm sorry for that.. I'm sorry for everything.."

"You know you didn't do anything wrong, so why do you keep apologizing?" I snapped my head up at the sudden voice. I turned around and saw Sam sit next to me. "Seriously.. Why?" He handed me a coat, I silently thanked him and just held onto it.

"Because there might've been something I could've done to prevent this.."

"Might and could.. There was nothing different you could've done. Its not your fault so you have to stop blaming yourself." He wasn't facing me as he said this, he was reading the headstone. "I convinced him to come out.. He should be here in a few." I automatically knew he was talking about Gabriel. I just slightly nodded. The next couple minutes were quiet until we heard Gabriel walk over and sit beside us, he's only been out here a couple times so I was a little shocked. We all just spent the next half-hour or so sitting there, hardly anything was said. Eventually Sam and Gabriel left to go back home but I stayed. I stayed until it was dark out, and even then I stayed a little while longer. That same pattern went on for weeks, but I eventually had to go back to school. When I finally did decide to go back, everyday after school I would come straight back here. Everyone was worried about me.. But there was nothing to worry about. 

 

Years passed, many years. Crowley was never caught or held accountable for sending that photo to Lucifer, John and Lucifer remained in jail and probably would for the rest of their life but Uriel was bailed out. Dean, Gabriel and Sam were long graduated. Joanna and Anna became close friends and eventually overtook the diner, Sam moved out to California and attended Stanford, Gabriel eventually moved closer to his sister in downtown Charlotte and Dean, well Dean moved up to New Hampshire. He still travels back down to Charlotte every summer and every winter not only to visit his aunt and uncle, but also Cas.


End file.
